(Emmeline)
“Mama,” Jackson pipes up from the back seat, where he’s safely strapped in, “Is Batman my daddy?”
I can’t believe my sweet angel boy is old enough for kindergarten already.
I also don’t know how to answer his question.
The one thing I know for certain, is that Asher isn’t Batman.
Beyond that, John Snow and I are in the same boat as far as knowing things go.
Asher disappeared off the face of the earth 5 years ago.
There one day, gone the next, leaving me standing on the steps of City Hall, where we were going to get married.
Waiting for hours before finally accepting he wasn’t going to show up.
I spent 6 months frantically looking for him, with no luck.
I sometimes still catch myself thinking he’ll come back, with a good reason for disappearing on me.
We were so in love, and so sure we wanted to spend our lives together.
I don’t understand what drove him away.
I found out I was pregnant a week later. Asher doesn’t even know he has a son.
If he’s still alive.
I filed a missing person’s report and I’ll never forget the look of sympathy the detective gave me.
The way he advised me to move on with my life.
“No sweetheart, you know Batman is just make-believe. I thought Spider-man was your favorite?”
He can wax lyrical about Peter Parker for hours and I’m hoping this will be enough to distract him.
“Peter’s only a boy,” Jackson says with a giggle, like I’m the silliest person on the planet.
“But Batman is old like you.”
Ouch.
I’m not sure that 26 can be classified as teetering on the edge of the grave, but I guess to a 4-year old, it must seem pretty ancient.
On par with middle-aged Batman, in fact.
“Oh look, there’s your school up ahead. Are you excited to see all your friends?” I ask desperately.
I really need for this conversation to stop.
“Yes, and Miss Ally. She reads us lots of stories, but she’s not as good at it as you are, Mama. She can do some voices, but not the ones that make you cough.”
I glow with pride and do a mental ‘take that, Miss Ally’.
I can do scary, husky voices and you can’t. So there.
I shouldn’t resent my son’s kindergarten teacher for telling them to make a family tree.
It doesn’t stop me from resenting her anyway.
Most of the other kids have 2 founding members in their trees.
Even Justin, who has 2 mommies and Dylan who has 2 daddies.
Jackson is the only one who has only a mommy, because I can’t get myself to talk about Asher.
Miss Ally and her stupid tree gave rise to the sudden avalanche of questions from Jackson and it’s easier to be mad at her, than to face why I won’t discuss Asher.
“Is he a spy, mama?”
I’m attempting to reverse park in front of the school and my attention is divided.
“Who, sweetheart?” I ask distractedly.
“My daddy!” Jackson says, his voice loaded with exasperation.
I could just lie and say that’s it.
He’s like James Bond and we can’t talk about him, because we don’t want to blow his cover.
I don’t lie to Jackson though.
Not about important things.
Sure there’s Santa, and the Tooth Fairy, and that time the park was closed for renovations because I had a cold and couldn’t face going out, but this is something important.
“Honey, can we talk about this later? I think I see Justin waiting for you.”
Jackson undoes the straps on his car seat in a flash and darts to the open gate of the school.
I’m glad he’s adjusted so well to kindergarten.
I had to start working full time again and it would have been awful if he hated school.
I follow with his backpack and lunch pail, handing them over to a smiling Miss Ally, who’s already hugged Jackson good morning.
“He’s such a sweetheart,” she tells me sincerely and my dislike thaws a little.
“I’m really sorry if I made things difficult for you with their art project. You shouldn’t feel bad for not knowing who Jackson’s father is.”
Right, no, she’s definitely back on the list of undesirables.
“Not at all. And I do know who his father is. Things are simply not as straightforward as giving Jackson a name to stick on a tree and following the threads to the rest of the family.”
Ally looks rather confused, but she nods politely, not saying anything else before I make my way over to Jackson to kiss his velvety little cheek goodbye.
***
The office is a hive of activity when I arrive.
“Emmeline! Good morning, you look amazing,” Elias calls out when he sees me. “Put down your things and come and have a look at this. We’re getting really close to catching the bastard.”
Elias is the DA for Manhattan and the bastard in question is the elusive leader of the biggest mafia operation in New York.
He’s been Elias’s white whale for years, firmly eluding capture. Nobody knows what he looks like, or what his name is.
He’s a member of the Giordano family, but we don’t know which one.
What we do know is that he eliminated his own father and he’s responsible for a slew of murders across the city.
He also commands such loyalty from his men that we haven’t been able to make any of them flip, no matter what we offered.
I say we, but I only joined the fight recently.
Elias needed a paralegal and reached out to offer me the position.
I’m really grateful for this job.
For years I have been supporting me and Jackson by waiting tables.
Because while coming to terms with Asher’s betrayal, my charmed life flipped on its head in one fell swoop.
My father was murdered and my brother sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit.
I was left all alone, our fortune gone, bereaved, pregnant and penniless.
I was in the final year of my degree in Financial Law when I found out I was pregnant so I put my studies on hold.
With no degrees, waiting tables is the only job I can get.
Elias and I have been friends since grade school and I know he longs for more, but my heart still belongs to Asher, even after everything.
I never stopped wearing my engagement ring. It makes people assume I’m married and keeps most men from asking me out.
Jackson is the only male I need in my life right now.
“Holy shit!” someone calls out from the corner where the television is set to CNN.
They turn the sound up and I hear the commentator saying, “Footage has been obtained of the elusive leader of the Giordano crime family. The man, identified as Asher Giordano, is said to have been responsible for multiple violent deaths…”
The woman keeps talking, but the blood is rushing through my head so loudly that I can’t hear anything.
The man on the screen is Asher.
My Asher.
He told me he was an orphan and his surname was Bianchi.
I’m going to be sick.
My son’s father is the dreaded, menacing head of the Giordano family.
He didn’t disappear, he played me and left.
What will he do if he finds out I have his firstborn son?
SebastianThe bar is one of those places that forgets its own name after midnight. I pick the table with my back to the wall and a view of the door because I used to mistake paranoia for a phase and it turned out to be a skill set.Bruce arrives without announcing himself. One second there’s a chair, the next there’s a wall of man sitting in it. Black T-shirt, clean jaw, the kind of stillness that makes other people fidget.He folds his forearms on the table. “Tell me.”I slide my phone across the scarred wood. He scans the screen from a distance, cataloging like he does doorframes and fire escapes. The photo of me and Emmeline on those courthouse steps. The spreadsheets.“They want me to step down from the Bureau,” I say.“Because you’re close to something,” he says, and it isn’t a question.“The account numbers are elegant forgery. The dates are almost right. The offshore shells are real, just not mine. If the SEC sees this without context, I’m radioactive.”Bruce reaches, opens a se
EmmelineHe locks the door without looking away from me.Click. The kind of sound that lands between my ribs and blooms there.“Come here,” Asher says.The coat slides from his shoulders, heavy with rain. His hands find my jaw like he’s checking the hinge on a door he intends to walk through.He moves first. No preamble. No safety rails except the ones we always keep for each other. Mouth on mine, pressure decisive, that bite-soft glide that strips thought and leaves the body fluent.My back meets the wall. My palms find his shoulders. He’s warm through the shirt. Solid. The kind of strength that isn’t just muscle but power.His hand brackets my throat, squeezing lightly, heat and claim, his thumb finding the flutter of my pulse. “Breathe.”I do. In on a three-count, out on a five. The world steadies and then tilts harder when he kisses the point under my ear that unspools my spine. My head hits the wall with a soft thud. He catches it with his palm and laughs like a sinner in church.
AsherMy captains ring the long table like constellations I used to navigate by. Bruce stands at my right shoulder, a dark planet with its own gravity.Emmeline’s words are still in my blood. Put the crown on. Use every tool. I can taste them the way I taste her. Steel and honey. I’ve already made the calls, put men on schools, on routes, on the places my enemies sleep and pretend it’s safe. What I haven’t done yet is say it out loud.I open my mouth just as Bruce’s phone vibrates.He glances at the screen, and the small, bare shift in his jaw is enough to tell me the night just changed. He steps close, voice pitched for me alone. “Nico didn’t check in.”Nico. Forty-two. Drove for my father when I was still a problem in cufflinks. Taught me the quiet parts of survival. How to breathe through an ambush, how to keep your eyes up in a crowd.“Where?” I ask.Bruce answers with motion. We’re already walking to the car. “Something’s come up. Wait here,” I tell the room.We cut through the c
EmmelineI’m halfway through a piece of toast when my phone starts vibrating across the counter like it wants to escape.Three texts from Sarah. Elias’s campaign manager.You seeing this???Turn on Cityline.We need you at HQ.I unmute the TV and the caption slaps me in the face. IS THE BOY SCOUT A BAGMAN? Elias’s smiling campaign photo sits beside a grainy still of Asher stepping out of a black car. The segment host has the smooth voice of a snake oil salesman.“Anonymous financial records obtained overnight appear to show a pattern of-”I don’t hear the rest. I’m already scrolling the linked article. Screenshots. Red circles. Arrows. A “timeline” that stitches unrelated events into a story where Elias is Asher’s friendly neighborhood money launderer.Asher appears in the doorway, tie loose, shirt sleeves rolled, dangerously sexy without trying. “What happened?”“Vescari happened,” I say, shoving my arms into the coat. “They’re hitting Elias. Anonymous bank records, out-of-context ph
CaterinaThere’s a particular kind of dark right before dawn when New York holds its breath and decides whether to behave.I stand barefoot on the kitchen tile, staring at the window like I can see Palermo through the glass if I focus hard enough. The espresso machine purrs and I pour without tasting. My hands are steady. That’s how I know I’m afraid.Bruce ghosts past the doorway, a mountain in a black T-shirt. He does it every hour. Checking all the doors and windows. The ritual should annoy me. It seduces me instead. A man who treats safety like worship is a dangerous prayer to answer.I’m not here for prayers. I’m here to confess.Emmeline pads in, hair braided back, Asher’s hoodie swallowing her small frame. She looks like soft sleep and sharp corners. Mrs. Giordano. The title sits on her like a crown she didn’t ask for and wears anyway.“Couldn’t sleep?” she asks, voice low. The house is full of men who will be awake soon. For a moment, it’s just us.“Not really.”I sink onto a
EmmelineThe house is too quiet after midnight. I lie awake and listen to the faint hush of cars down on the avenue. My hand rests on my stomach like a promise and a threat. I am not prey. I am a mother. Those are different animals.Asher comes in at one twenty-three, tie in his pocket, coat open, winter air clinging to him.“How was it?” I ask.He meets my eyes in the mirror, loosening his cuffs. “Contained.”“Contained is not a report. It’s a prayer.”A beat of amusement ghosts across his mouth and dies. “I met the captains. Not all. A handful. Enough to make it clear things have changed.”“Did you say the words?” I sit up, knees to my chest, the strap of my negligee falling down to my collarbone. “Did you claim your crown back?”“Not yet.” He turns, taking me in like I’m a cliff he has to climb. “I won’t swing a wrecking ball through our life because a grandmother in widow’s black wants to play chess from Palermo.”“She nearly set fire to our son’s school,” I say, voice even. “She