Chapter 2 Bewilderment

(Emmeline)

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Rosa whispers, putting her finger under my chin to close my gaping mouth. 

“What’s wrong?”

I look around worriedly to see whether Elias is close by, but he practically has his nose pressed to the television screen and he’s barking out orders. 

For once he’s not paying any attention to me.

The man I’ve been pining over for the past 5 years is a gangster. 

No, scrap that. 

He’s the gangster. 

The modern day version of Al Capone.

I probably shouldn’t be talking about this, but Rosa is my closest friend in the world and I’m too frazzled to keep it all inside. 

Grabbing her hand, I rush to the bathroom and lock the door behind us.

“Asher Giordano is Jackson’s father,” I say in a rush. 

This time it’s Rosa’s turn to stare open-mouthed. 

“You dated the head honcho of the mafia and didn’t tell anyone?” she finally asks.

I rub my temples, feeling the fain pounding of a headache starting. 

“I didn’t know! He told me he was an orphan and his surname was Bianchi…” 

Rosa knows all about my doomed love affair and how I was left waiting on the court house steps.

“Oh, Jesus, Emmeline,” she whispers, her hand covering her mouth. “What are you going to do? You have to tell Elias.”

I shake my head determinedly. 

“Not yet. I need a bit of time to wrap my head around all of this and find the best way to approach it. You know how obsessed Elias is with catching him, and I don’t know how it will impact Jackson.”

What will Asher do when he finds out about Jackson? 

It’s not like I had any way of letting him know I was pregnant. 

The man I loved would have been over the moon to find out he has a son. 

But that person was never real.

I don’t want Jackson caught up in any of this. 

He’s such a sweet boy. It’s impossible to believe that he carries the DNA of a cold-blooded killer.

“Shit. I didn’t think about that. I won’t say anything, but Emmeline, you can’t keep this quiet for too long. It will make it look like you knew all along.”

The rest of the day is a living nightmare. 

I’m tasked with creating a timeline. From the first time Asher Giordano popped into existence, up to the present day.

I keep hoping there’s some mistake. That I heard the name and mistook the man on the screen for my Asher, but the dates all line up perfectly. 

Asher Giordano, youngest son of Giovanni Giordano, has the same birthday. He’s the same age. 

He executed his father shortly after disappearing from my life.

The crimes he’s wanted for are varied and sickening. From money laundering, to torture, to murder. There isn’t much in the penal code he’s not being accused of.

Every time it hits me that this is the man I fell in love with. 

The man I was ready to marry. 

The father of my child. 

I feel bile rising in the back of my throat.

I’m not the same Emmeline he was engaged to either. 

That young woman was soft and naïve. Nothing bad had ever happened in her life. Then he left and my world fell to pieces around me bit by bit.

I had nobody to support me. I had to claw my way out of the darkest depths of despair all by myself, so I could be the mother my son deserved.

It still doesn’t quite compare to being a crime boss and having a whole different identity though.

I’ve gone through all the stages of grief. 

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. 

I mourned him, but finally I had to move on with my life. 

I accepted that I would never see him again and contented myself with knowing he left me with the most wonderful gift imaginable. Jackson.

***

Every second ticks by with excruciating sluggishness and I want to cry with relief when 5 pm finally rolls around and I get to escape the office.

“Mama, it’s later now,” Jackson promptly informs me the second he gets into the car. 

His logic is sound, but his timing is terrible.

Telling him that his father disappeared and never even knew about him would have been hard. 

Telling him he’s a criminal is far, far worse.

“It is sweetheart, but you haven’t told me about your day yet. Did you make any pictures?” 

I manage to keep him distracted all the way home and right through dinner. 

It’s a great help that he’s 4 and can talk like nobody’s business.

I switch the news on while he’s brushing his teeth and of course I’m right in time to see Asher’s handsome face flashed on the screen once more.

My legs threaten to buckle under me when Jackson suddenly asks from behind me, “Is that my daddy?”