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LOGIN(Emmeline)
My heart is pounding so fast, I can hear the blood rushing through my head.
“What makes you think that, sweetie?” I ask, wondering if he’ll notice that my voice is 2 octaves higher than usual.
He runs to my bedroom and comes back a minute later waving around a picture I keep in a box under my bed.
A picture I haven’t looked at in years, because it hurts too much.
It’s of me and Asher. Laughing, carefree and desperately in love.
It was taken about 2 months before his disappearance, just after we got engaged.
My first instinct is to lie. To tell him that of course that man on the news isn’t his daddy.
But anyone with halfway decent eyesight can see that it’s the same person.
He’s even more handsome now that he’s older, but it’s undeniably the same person.
I crouch down, taking the picture from his hand gently.
“Yes, baby. I think it is. He disappeared before I knew you were in my belly and he used a different name when I knew him.”
Jackson considers my answer, glancing back at the television before looking at me again.
“Is my daddy a bad man?” he asks.
Before I can respond he rushes ahead. “Sometimes I’m bad and you tell me you don’t like the thing I did, but you still love me. We can still love my daddy and help him be better. Can we be a family now, mama?”
“Sweetheart, I haven’t spoken to him in a very long time. And the bad things he’s done is not the same as snacking cookies before dinner,” I try and explain.
It seems I’ve taught him so much about forgiveness and love, that he has a shaky grasp on crimes and consequences.
I eventually get him into bed and after reading 4 books he finally falls asleep.
Unfortunately there’s nobody to read me stories and I toss and turn all night.
For years all I wanted was one hour with Asher.
The opportunity to ask him why he deserted me. What I’d done wrong to make him run away.
Now I have a million more questions.
Did he ever actually love me?
Why lie to me and ask me to marry him, only to disappear?
I never got the impression that he was a psychopath, but nobody else could be so convincing about loving someone, knowing they were going to break their heart soon.
He murdered his own father!
I don’t know how his sudden resurfacing is going to impact me and Jackson, but I’m terrified of what the future holds.
***
Jackson is very quiet on the ride to school and he has that fiercely determined look on his face that Asher would sometimes get.
Nothing could keep him from attaining whatever he set his mind to when he looked like that.
“Jackson, are you alright?” I ask carefully. “Do you want to talk about what you found out last night?”
He shakes his head, “No thank you, mama. I’m fine.”
“Sweetie, you’d talk to me if you were planning on doing anything, right?” I ask.
“Look, mama! A kitty!” he shouts, pointing out his window.
I don’t know if I’ve just been given some of my own medicine by a 4-year old, or if he was really distracted by a cat – which I didn’t see - but there’s no more time for talking, we’ve arrived at his school.
***
“Relax, Emmeline. I know he’s a very smart kid, but he’s only 4 and he’s safe and sound at school,” Rosa tries to calm me when I arrive at work.
“Besides, it took us years and we weren’t able to track down Asher Giordano. There’s no way for Jackson to find him.”
She’s right.
Of course she’s right.
And Jackson is a very smart kid. I’m going to have to sit him down tonight and talk to him openly about everything. Answer all of his questions, no matter how much it hurts to talk about the past.
He has to understand that there is no future where Asher can be a part of our lives.
He’s a wanted man who will be arrested soon and there’s no way I’m letting him get anywhere close to Jackson.
We’ve always been fine on our own and there’s no reason for that to change now.
I feel a bit calmer now that I’ve made up my mind.
Tonight I’ll talk to Jackson and tomorrow I’ll come clean to Elias.
It’s good that I’ve found out what kind of man Asher is. I can finally get closure and move on with my life.
I should thank my lucky stars that he never knew about Jackson and now he never will.
I go looking for a new book for Jackson during my lunch break.
He loves dinosaurs and it will be good to have a distraction after a heavy and difficult conversation.
I’m waiting in the check-out line when my phone starts ringing. My heart skips a beat when I see Miss Ally flashing across my screen.
It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
“Hello,” I answer on the second ring.
“Oh my God, Emmeline. I’m so sorry, but Jackson’s missing. The kids all went outside for recess and he didn’t come back to class after. We’ve looked everywhere, but he’s not on the school premises.”

EmmelineWe spend the morning packing and the afternoon pretending it’s spring.The new glass in the pantry shines like a lie that wants to be forgiven. The chalkboard reads basil, sunscreen, patience, written in my hand on purpose.Maria hums at the stove, stirring home-made tomato sauce, because some rituals are laws. The kettle behaves. The house has learned better manners since it bled.Sebastian appears in the doorway with a banker’s box and the look of a man who made it out of a burning building by counting breaths.The charges died on impact once our lawyers showed their teeth and the beacons sang the right tune, but a career doesn’t grow back because a judge signed a piece of paper.“Compliance work,” he says, setting the box down. “Boring. Indestructible. No cameras.”“You say that like it isn’t salvation,” I answer, and he smiles, the tired kind, and lets Maria feed him until his stomach is bulging and his problems temporarily forgotten.Caterina moves through the dining roo
AsherNew York welcomes us back with terrible weather and worse smells. As much as I want to go to Emmeline, I have to finish this.You don’t sleep between a war’s penultimate page and its last.We choose Pier 37 as our meeting place. Where they left Nico propped like a cautionary tale with a black-wax card on his lapel.Bruce stands at my shoulder. “You’re sure he’ll bite?”“He wants to be seen,” I say. “Newly minted heirs crave acknowledgment.”He arrives in a dark sedan. Three men with him. Two peel off too late when the first floodlight hits. My shooters own the angles. Lines of red dance across coats and make decisions for men who think they still have them.Luca Vescari steps out looking like a photograph of an uncle I never liked. Hair too careful, grief worn like cufflinks, a ring with the V pressed deep enough to make skin complain. He looks at the grey water, then at me, as if I should apologize for geography.“Asher Giordano,” he says, as if he’s naming a chess piece.I nod
AsherThe stairs down to Santa Maria del Gesù sweat history. Lime dust, candle smoke, the wet breath of stone. Beneath the nave, the crypt opens like a throat. Men in black suits and old rings line the aisle.At the left of the altar, they have Alessia, wrists bound, mascara boiled into salt. A relic they plan to parade when the pledges kiss the ring.Bruce breathes once in my ear, his voice a whisper under my collar. “Two on the stairs. Three by the bowl. One, left niche, long barrel.”“Hold,” I say. “We go when the Confiteor starts.”The words roll out. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. The room bows. We don’t.CaterinaI count bones in the walls so I don’t run at the first sight of her. Then Alessia lifts her head and I am a child again, choking on a laugh we weren’t allowed.“Cati?” Her mouth shapes it, no sound.I want to tear the crypt in half with my hands. Bruce’s hand finds my hip without looking. “We’re getting her out,” he promises.Nonna is not here. Of course she is
Emmeline“Nonna Vescari won’t come for trucks and ledgers,” I say. “She comes for weaknesses. So I’ll give her one.”Asher’s eyes cut to me. “No.”“You don’t know what it is yet.”“It’s you,” he says, and there’s too much love in it to bear. “So no.”I pick up the tin of black wax they left like a calling card and turn it in my hand until it squeaks.“She thinks women are currency. Wives, daughters, cousins. She thinks we belong to the ledger’s notes. Let her think that and come close enough to learn math has changed.”I set the tin down.“We send a message through the channels she respects. Propriety and prayer. A condolence mass notice, bought by ‘a friend’ in my mother’s maiden name. A florist order. White lilies and a black ribbon delivered to Santa Maria del Gesù with an old-fashioned card. And a private note to her fixer that reads like a confession.”Asher’s jaw knots. “What confession?”“That I’m tired.” I meet his gaze. “That the crown you put on is crushing what’s under my r
AsherThis is starting to feel like déjà vu. Being back in the warehouse for another meeting in less than 48-hours rankles, but it’s necessary.Bruce drops a woven basket in the center. “Phones.” He waits with that patient, immovable look that makes men remember they are mortal.“We’re done playing nice,” I say. “Their bridge hit failed. A team tried our back stair and left a stain on my pantry door. Sebastian is sitting in a federal room because someone put my bait in his pocket and waved a camera. This is not random.”DeLuca clears his throat. He always clears his throat before he crawls. “With respect, Boss-”“Say it without the sugar,” I tell him.“Sebastian’s a liability,” he says, words tumbling out once permission lands. “Let the Feds have him. We keep our distance. The Sicilians-” he tilts a palm, like we’re weighing produce “They’re offering routes. We bend the knee, keep our ports and live to fight later.”“Later is what cowards call never,” Bruce says mildly.Ferro leans in
CaterinaHe makes me meet him in a side chapel, as if God is a better witness than lawyers.The church is one of those narrow, old-world pockets squeezed between laundromats and a locksmith that never seems to be open.Candles gutter in red glass. Plaster saints pretend not to listen. Bruce stands at the door and becomes part of the architecture. Hands loose, eyes counting exits. He moves a little stiff from the knife that kissed him this morning, but he refused to let anyone else come with me.My father arrives on time because he believes punctuality is morality. Black coat, darker eyes, two men who look like they could be carved from the same block as the columns. He doesn’t sit. He fills space the way old money does, with silence and disapproval.“Papà,” I say.“Don’t,” he answers, and the word is clean as a blade. “You forfeited it.”He looks at Bruce, then past him, deciding whether the man at the door is furniture or weather. He chooses weather and faces me again. “You embarrass








