Chapter 4

Oris

It was impossible. A trick of the mind because he couldn't be here. 

But he was, I thought, ice growing in my veins. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be looking at me in the flesh. 

His eyes bored painfully. Panic filled me and in that moment only one thought remained.

Run.

And so I did.

I tore myself away from him before any questions could form and without hesitation, crossed the road. Unlike the last time the traffic signal glowed red and was safe to cross.

It was just my luck that others were doing the same, forming a crowd in the process that I immediately sunk into.

“Oris…”

My hands and insides clenched. The voice was barely noticeable amidst the sounds of the crowd and walking, but I heard it. Heard him.

“No.” I whispered, closing my eyes and rejecting it without looking back.

I could have sworn he was following me or that he could still see me, eyes burning on my back, but I didn't waver. My steps stayed fast until I crossed the other side and turned the corner before the crowd could disperse. It was taking a longer route, but it didn't matter. 

Home was the only place left.

Amidst my racing heartbeat I rushed through my path. The last two blocks became a run, even with the weight of the bags weighing me down. It was all worth it in the end though when I arrived just in time.

I reached my apartment just as the door opened and Emily stepped out. 

"Miss Rivers, you made it," she said, relief crossing her face. I could still see the frantic panic as she darted towards the elevator.

"Thank you for waiting,” I said, shifting, "I'll send you the payment later. Go now. Your brother needs you."

 She nodded gratefully before slipping out past me. I stepped inside in turn to find two two little heads peeking out. 

The second the door closed behind me, neither of them wasted time. Two small bodies rushed and crashed into my legs. Small arms wrapping around them.

"Mommy! You came early!" Lara practically bounced as she grasped the hem of my skirt. Cecilia, ever so quiet, only pressed tighter.

Warmth filled me. I knelt down and hugged them both, kissing their foreheads.

"I just missed you both too much," I said softly, “Are you two alright? Did you miss me.”

“Of course we did!” Lara pouted. I ruffled her curls, just like mine before looking at Cecilia.

“I know you missed me too. I love you.” I whispered, saying her thoughts out loud. That was all she needed to relax, face easing into a small smile.

Following two more kisses,  I rose carrying the grocery bags while they followed.

“What did you do today? Did Miss Russell give you something to draw?” I asked, letting the floodgates open. Babbling followed, with mostly Lara speaking while Cecilia said her piece a little at a time. Describing crayons and a ladybug they found on the windowsill. 

I nodded to each one, smiling whenever I looked their way. 

If there was anything else I'd learned in the past five years, it was pretending in front of them.

They wouldn't know better of course, too young and excited to notice that my hands shook putting milk in the fridge or the panic thrumming underneath my skin.

Hours later after I'd lulled them both to sleep, my thoughts circled back to him.

Why was he here? In this city of all the places.

That part was easy to reason. Panama Holdings had business everywhere. It was most likely an expansion project or a meeting or anything else. Why on earth it happened now of all times when he was supposed to be far away was already bad. But the fact remained that he was here.

And he'd seen me.

It was a coincidence. A horrible, heart stopping coincidence that was capable of changing everything.

‘Oris’

Bitterness rose in my chest at the memory of his voice. How easy it was for that name to leave his mouth after five years. As if he still had the right. As if nothing had broken.

As if he hadn't been one of the people holding the hammer.

He didn't know I knew about that bet. Of course he wouldn't, given that I'd run for the hills before I could confront him. Whether he felt victorious about that night, I wouldn't know either. 

But it didn't matter, I reminded myself. The city was big. There was no reason for us to see each other again.

With that, I closed my eyes and forcefully pushed the thought aside.There were other things to worry about like my children and the company.

Hayden was a thing of the past and he would remain that way.

…

"Are you okay?"

I was snapped out of my thoughts and looked up. Reese stood in the doorway with the coffee I ordered, brows pulled together.

“What are you talking about? I'm fine.” The words left me on pure reflex. I knew I'd made a mistake. She didn't look impressed either.

“Ive been here for two minutes Jane.” She raised a brow, “Two minutes of watching you  stare at your computer screen without typing. Plus, you didn't even notice I was here.”

My gut wrenched but she wasn't done. 

“And it's not just today. You’ve been acting shifty since last Tuesday," she said, setting the coffee set down on my desk. "It's either you're blank spaced or you're looking over your shoulders. Last week Friday, you looked like you were going to jump out of your skin when I got your attention. It's only recently you've been more like yourself. What happened?"

Had I really been so obvious?

A lump formed in my throat. The anxiety in her expression was telling, but there were some things I kept away for a reason.

I sighed, letting my barriers fall.

"I'm…just worried about the funding.” I said,  “You know how tight things are. It feels like I'm trying my best and getting nothing. I'm not sure if it's some streak of bad luck or I have some shadow following me."

Everything I said was true enough not to be a lie, despite the gaping omission. 

It was enough though. Her face softened and she reached out to pat me on the shoulder and comfort me. 

"Hey, we need to get our hopes up. You still have the meeting today at 4pm." she said. "Mr. Patters is still an option. Plus, I heard he might know from a big company who is interested in green initiatives. This could be it."

“Yeah,” I nodded, forcing a small smile.

"Next time, you don't have to hold everything alone. No more of those fake jokes. You're bad at it anyways." She snarked, “besides, you've got me.”

“I know Reese.” I said. “Thank you.”

She gave a small assuring smile and left soon after. Once the door shut leaving me alone in the office, I sighed, letting my smile and my shoulders slump.

She was right  in more ways than one. Ever since the sighting of Hayden, I'd been shifty, even though I tried to fight it.

Half the time I wondered if he would trace me or even try to find me using the same route. But I was thinking too much.

It was just a single coincidence. I had a new name. He wouldn't be able to trace me even if he tried. Or maybe he'd think he'd made a mistake.

Whether he recognised me and couldn't find me or just didn't care to made no difference.

But now, a week had passed. That was more than enough time to let it go.  

An hour later, I'd headed for said meeting with high hopes. Just as expected, Richard Patters was easy to talk to. I'd done my research well enough on the man to learn his sweet spots and practiced every possible step in the conversation beforehand. It paid off. 

Nearly half an hour passed in his office when the sound of the door opening came from behind me. I didn't turn to see who was behind even as the older man looked past. His disconcerted look soon shifted into a mix of eagerness and glee.

"Oh! Mr Henderson please come in!”

My blood ran cold instantly at the title. Richard Patters didn't pay me any attention as he stood up, his rotund frame moving past.

“I hope I'm not interrupting.” Hayden’s voice rang, making my gut clench further.

“No, not at all sir,” Richard said, his tone saccharine and ingratiating. “Anytime with you is perfect timing. Actually, I'm not sure if you'd be interested sir, but there is someone who is. Miss Rivers?”

Fear gripped me. I stared at the table as if to stall the time, but it was a futile effort. In the end, I stood up a second later and turned to turn towards them, focusing solely on Richard even as HIS gaze pierced. 

"Miss Rivers, this is Mr. Hayden Henderson.” Richard spoke proudly as if announcing royalty. “He’s representing Panama Holdings as a potential major investor for sustainable projects. Mr. Henderson, this is Miss Jane Rivers, owner of EJ Corporation.”

There was nowhere to hide. Ignoring the lump in my throat, I finally faced him. 

The moment our eyes met, the icy dread grew. 

It had been five years since I last properly saw him. He hadn't changed much, yet it looked like everything had. There was a hint of beard stubble, his hair shorter and neat and his eyes…

The look in his blue eyes were intense, smoldering with a mix of emotions. Shock, wonder even, and what looked like…longing?

No, I quickly shut down the thought. It wasn't real. 

Softness like that had never been real, no matter how good he was at playing it. 

He was a flame and I'd already been burned once before.

That thought snapped everything back into place.

"I've heard so much about you.”  I forced a distant, professional smile and offered my hand. “It's nice to meet you, Mr. Henderson.”