CHAPTER 1

DISTANCE BETWEEN US

I keep checking the curtains. Three times now. They were straight the first time, but I keep tugging them anyway, like maybe it’ll make the house feel more perfect. The way he likes it. Daniel always notices the smallest things, and I want everything to be right when he gets home. The dining table is set for two. I made steak, his favorite. Roasted potatoes too, because he likes them crispy on the outside and soft in the middle.

Asparagus with a little butter and garlic. The plates are already out, the napkins folded just like he prefers. I even lit the candles.It’s quiet, except for the sound of the clock ticking. I sit down, then stand back up. I smooth the tablecloth again. I walk to the mirror by the hallway and check my hair. My makeup. My smile. I don’t even know how many times I’ve done that tonight.He should be home any minute. He said he wouldn’t be too late. He said that yesterday too.

I glance at the clock. 8:30. I sigh, take a deep breath, and walk to the bedroom. Maybe if I just change, maybe if I look nice , I pull out the soft cream-colored lingerie I bought weeks ago and never wore. It still has the tag. I had imagined his face when he saw me in it. I had imagined him smiling, his hands warm on my skin, saying, “You look beautiful.” I peel off my dress and slip the lingerie on. It’s delicate, almost shy-looking. The fabric feels cool against my skin.

I wrap my robe over it, but not too tightly. Just enough to keep it hidden until he comes home.I sit on the edge of the bed for a while, watching the clock again. My hands are shaking. I press them together. “He’s just busy,” I whisper to myself. “That’s all. Work runs late sometimes.” The room smells like vanilla from the candle I lit.

His side of the closet is neat, suits lined up perfectly. I used to love hanging them up, feeling proud that my husband looked so sharp every day. Now I just stare at them, wondering when the last time was that he wore anything for me .

10:45,

11:20. The food must be cold by now. I walk back to the dining room and lift the foil from the plates. The smell still makes me smile. I spent the whole evening cooking, hoping it would remind him of the old days. I pour a glass of wine. Just one sip. My fingers brush against the candle wax. It’s already hardened. I go back to the mirror again. “He’ll notice tonight,” I whisper.

“He’ll come home, and he’ll see how much I love him.”I check my reflection. I untie the robe, just a little, so the lace of my lingerie peeks through. I blush at myself in the mirror. “He’ll like this,” I whisper. “He used to.”

I can still remember the first time we moved in here. We couldn’t even unpack properly that night because we couldn’t stop touching each other. Everything was new. Everything felt like a promise. Now the air feels heavy. Like something’s missing that I can’t name.I walk around the house one more time, fixing small things that don’t need fixing. I straighten the rug. Wipe the already clean counter.

I Fold the throw blanket neatly on the couch. Then I hear it. The sound of a car pulling into the driveway. My heart jumps. My wine glass shakes in my hand. I quickly set it down, rush to the mirror, check my hair again, check the tie of my robe. My heart is racing so fast it hurts. I whisper, “He’s home. He’s finally home.” I hurry to the dining room, turn the dimmer switch down a little, so the light looks softer.

Then I stand by the table, pretending I just happened to be there. The door unlocks. My throat tightens.The first thing I hear is the click of his shoes on the floor. Then his deep sigh.“You’re home!” I say, too quickly. My voice sounds too bright. “I made dinner, your favorite.” He looks at me, just for a second. His eyes flick down and up.“Why are you still awake?” he asks, dropping his keys.

I swallow. “I wanted to have dinner together. I waited.”“It’s past eleven, Emma,” he says, voice flat. “You should’ve eaten.” I force a laugh. “But you don’t like eating alone.”He shrugs. “I already ate.”My stomach sinks. “Oh. That’s fine. I can just…”He cuts me off. “Where’s my blue shirt for tomorrow?”“In the closet. Ironed.”He nods without looking. “Good.”

I follow him down the hallway. “You must be tired. You’ve been working so much lately.”“Yeah,” he says, unbuttoning his cuffs. “And this…this kind of talk doesn’t help. I just want quiet.” I freeze, then force a smile. “Right. Sorry. I just missed you, that’s all.”He doesn’t answer.

He walks into the bedroom and sits on the bed, pulling his tie off. I stand by the door, heart beating fast. I walk closer, my hand tugging gently at the belt of my robe. My voice is small. “I wanted to surprise you tonight.”He looks up briefly. “With what?” “Dinner… and maybe, um, something else.” I open the robe slightly, the candlelight catches the soft fabric underneath. “You remember this?”His eyes move over me for a second, then he sighs. “Emma, I’m not in the mood for games. I’ve had a long day.”

I swallow hard, my fingers still clutching the robe. “It’s not a game, Daniel. I just thought.. ” He stands up, walks past me to the dresser. I move a little closer to him , now standing behind him . “you just thought what ?” He says as he takes of his shirt. “I can’t remember how you feel inside of me “ I said taking off my robe completely .

He paused and turns to me , my heart skips a beat , i love it when he looks at me this way , i bit my lips and say “ my body longs for you Daniel ” I placed my hands on his chest, and look him in the eyes . “I felt his gaze on my body , his eyes scanned every bit of me from my hair , to my neck , to my breast .

I wish he looked at me like this everyday. He wraps his hands around my waist and pulls me closer . I let out a soft moan,”you want me inside you ?” He asks , “yes, I want to feel every inch of you ” I respond , I let out a little moan again as I feel his hands softly grabbing my ass. He then pushes me as i fall on my back on the bed .

I watch him unbuckle his belt . “Show me how bad you want me ?” He says, now looking at me like he can devour me . I get on all fours and crawl to where he stood at the edge of the bed . I trace my hands from his chest down to his dick , now hard as a rock , and look him in the eyes . “Show me” he repeats , he loves it when I get down on him .

I pull down his boxer shorts, revealing his dick , admiring how I hard I just made him . I kiss the tip , and take it my mouth and suck it, slowly,he moans , I love it when he moans .

He guides my head , in and out , slowly, then fast , till I start gagging, he paused and said “spread those legs “ . I fall back on the bed , a little relieved from all the sucking, and open my legs wide enough so he could see how soaked I am for him . He crawls slowly to me, now on top , guides my legs up. I let out a moan as he slid in .

I could feel every inch of him .”you like that ?” He says while he starts thrusting slowly, “yes ,I love it “ I cry as I felt his thrust , building , slowly, fast , faster , faster……...”arghh” he cries out as he pulls out and falls back beside me on the bed , breathing really fast . He gets up without a word.

The bed dips and rises as his weight leaves it . For a second, I expect him to look back, to maybe smile, or touch my hair , something small, something that says this meant something. But he doesn’t. He grabs his shirt from the chair, wipes himself with it, then disappears into the bathroom. I hear the faucet turn on, water running, the sound of him rinsing away what just happened. My chest tightens.

I listen to the sound of the water running until he was done with his shower . When he comes out, his face is unreadable. He didn’t look at me, He just throws the shirt into the laundry basket, opens the drawer, pulls out a clean pair of boxers, and lies down. “Daniel?” I whisper, my voice breaking. “Yes? “ he says as he turns his back to me, pulling the blanket over himself like he’s trying to block me out completely.

I lie there, staring at his back, my heart still racing , not from what happened, but from what didn’t, the silence feels heavy, so I start talking softly , I was thinking,” I say, “maybe this weekend we could go somewhere. You’ve been so busy lately, and I…”Emma, Please. Not tonight , I had a really rough day at work , I am very exhausted. I need rest. .” I nod quickly, forcing a smile. “Of course. You’re tired.”

I stay quiet after that, listening to him breathe. The room smells like candle wax and the faint trace of him, but it feels empty. I swallow hard, blinking fast so I don’t cry . “Goodnight,” I whisper.

Silence. I pull the blanket up to my shoulders and close my eyes