No Seat for Me at the Winter Feast

The other end of the line went quiet for two seconds.

My mother seemed to finally set down some burden. Her voice immediately softened.

"I knew you'd understand."

"Nora, don't blame me. Lily grew up by our side. She's not like you—she's long been used to getting through things alone."

I looked down at the diagnosis on my lap.

The corners of the paper had already been crumpled soft in my grip.

The last line was written in the chief physician's own hand at Northshore Healing Institute.

Silver blight has spread to the lungs and bone marrow. Wolf spirit failure. Irreversible.

"Mm," I said. "I don't blame you."

My wolf curled deep in my consciousness and didn't respond.

For the past three months, she had grown quieter and quieter. At first, when I couldn't sleep from the pain, she would still nudge me gently with her nose.

Now I hadn't felt her in a long time.

My mother probably wasn't used to me being so obedient, so she added:

"After the solstice, I'll have your father send patrol guards to bring you back. We'll have a meal, just us."

"No need."

From the background came the sound of a glass hitting the table, then Brooks's impatient voice.

"Mom, why are you even explaining anything to her? Which year before the winter solstice does she not pull something?"

"Two years ago she complained the guest room had no heating. Last year she fought over Grandma's moonstone. If she finds out Ethan is going to the hot spring lodge too, who knows what kind of scene she'll make."

Ethan.

Half a month ago, he was still holding my hand, saying he'd definitely complete our mate marking in the spring, asking me to wait a little longer.

So he wasn't busy with shifts at the healing institute.

He was going to the mountains with Lily.

My mother lowered her voice to scold Brooks, then said to me:

"Ethan is going as a healer to accompany her. Since she lost her pup, she hasn't been able to sleep peacefully."

I walked to the window.

The first heavy snow of the season was falling over the pine forest across from the house.

The day I was brought back to the territory at seventeen, it was snowing like this too.

That year, the border patrol finally found me through the missing cub files.

I once thought that after finding my biological parents, I wouldn't have to fear winter anymore.

But when I arrived at the main house, I waited outside for forty minutes.

Lily had locked herself in her bedroom, crying and asking them if finding their real daughter meant they didn't want her anymore.

My father, mother, and Brooks were all upstairs.

No one remembered there was another child outside the door, newly found.

I was wearing the old coat issued by the rogue wolf shelter. The sleeves were too short, and the wrists exposed outside were frozen purple.

"Is Ethan next to you?" I asked.

My mother's voice immediately went tense.

"Nora, you just promised me you wouldn't make a scene."

"I just have something to return to him."

After a moment, the person on the phone changed.

"Nora."

Ethan's voice was very low, carrying the familiar exhaustion and caution.

"Lily can't handle any more stress right now. At night she keeps dreaming about the treatment table where she lost the pup. I can't leave her."

"She lost her pup," I asked. "Did I stop you from saving it?"

He paused.

"That's not what I meant. But you've always been healthier than her, and stronger than her. Once she stabilizes, I'll make it up to you."

I touched the ring on my left ring finger.

It was the one he had personally put on me when we made our mate promise.

We weren't fated mates.

There was no bond granted by the Moon Goddess, no link that would let him sense my pain.

Only a promise.

When spring came, he would bite down the mark in front of witnesses and make me his mate.

These three months, I had lost weight too fast. The ring had grown so loose it wouldn't stay on.

"Ethan, I went to see the ceremony officiant today."

"What?"

"The spring marking ceremony is canceled. The deposit will be refunded to your account."

He was silent for a moment, then let out a sigh.

"You're threatening me with this again?"

"It's not a threat."

I took off the ring and put it in my coat pocket.

"Happy winter solstice to you both."

After hanging up, I called a car and went back to the Frostridge main house.

There were some things I had to clear out before I left.

A huge fir tree had already been set up in the center of the hall, its branches wrapped in warm gold lights. Four beautifully carved name plaques hung from the oak beam above the fireplace.

Richard.

Helen.

Brooks.

Lily.

On the night of the winter solstice, Frostridge family members would hang their name plaques there. It meant that this year, no matter how far they went, there was a fire kept burning for them.

Mine had never been hung up there.

I walked to the stairs and pulled open the utility drawer.

From the second floor came Lily's trembling voice.

"Nora... did you come back to drive me away?"

She stood at the top of the stairs wrapped in a cream wool shawl, her face pale, her fingers gripping the railing tightly.

Almost at the same second, Brooks charged out of the study and yanked me away from the fireplace.

My lower back slammed hard into the sideboard.

Pain exploded. My vision went black for a moment, and I nearly dropped to my knees.

Brooks didn't look at me.

He first looked up to confirm Lily was still standing, then turned and lowered his voice.

"Can't you understand plain words? She can't handle stress right now, and you still come back to dig through things!"

My name plaque fell onto the carpet.

It was the most ordinary pine wood, the edges not even sanded smooth.

They had never ordered one for me.

The first year before the solstice, I bought the wood myself and carved my name on it stroke by stroke.

I braced myself against the cabinet and stood up, then bent down to pick it up.

Then I walked to the fireplace and put it into the fire.

The flames crawled slowly up along the carved "N."

Brooks froze.

I dusted the wood shavings off my fingertips.

"Relax."

"I'm not here to fight for her place."

"I'm here to clear out my own things."