Chapter 4

Yes, I am a bitter woman

Nora

I decided to have a bath after feeling sorry for myself in bed for a while. I want to remove all traces of them from my body. And especially him. I took out my pyjamas from the closet and took them with me to the bathroom. I learned, the hard way, what could happen if he came into my room, and I was in a towel or underwear after the bath. It doesn’t matter that I locked the door. He will always have access. As he once told me, this was his house, and he could go anywhere he wanted. OK, so the bathroom is the safest place to change.

I turned on the hot tap and put some bubbles in the water. I try to use floral scents, as I found that these oils relaxed me and kept my mind calm. After removing my clothes from me, I dove in. The sensation of hot water on my skin made me shiver. I needed all the comfort I could get. I put a wet towel on my face and relaxed. After a while, I felt my fingers wrinkle, and not only that, the water had turned cold. That’s when I knew it was time to get out. After drying my body and hair, I got dressed. I felt very tired all of a sudden. It was not physical exhaustion, but emotional. My life was falling apart, and I was useless to help myself. All the barriers that I had erected around my heart were no longer enough. My character was getting bitter little by little. And lately, I was even surprised at how deep my feelings ran through everyone. I hate them all, with passion.

Emotional abuse does that to a person. Unconsciously attacked before being attacked. I have discovered that, and I do it very often. Also, avoiding confrontations is my highest priority. The less I am around them, the better. This terrible life would be more bearable if I didn’t see him so regularly. I used to cry a lot before, knowing what was happening made me depressed. There was always sadness in my life. But my tears are no longer because of my sadness; the tears are mainly caused by resentment and helplessness. The surrounding people have all contributed to the destruction of my life. As it turned out, it was the people that should be protecting me who put the final nail in my coffin. This frustration makes me feel like I’m drowning. I need help, and I need it now before I collapse. My only desire after getting out of the bathroom was to lay in bed and close my eyes. I need to escape from this reality, even through my dreams. But I know they are only dreams.

After coming out of the bathroom, I found Erik sitting on my bed. I was horrified. When I recovered from the shock that his presence caused me, I continued as if nothing had happened. I went to my dresser to apply cream and brush my hair.

As I walked around the room, I felt his gaze following me. Until he said to me, “Nora, you have to be ready, we’re going to your parents’ house for lunch. It’s your mother’s birthday, so they want you there.” I didn’t say anything, he already knows I don’t want anything to do with them. But that doesn’t matter to him. After a few seconds of not answering him, he insisted. “Did you hear me, Nora? I’m talking to you. Your attitude is getting worse, and that’s enough! I don’t think it is necessary for me to remind you of the consequences of your bad behaviour. ”

And without looking at him, I replied, “Why don’t you take your new friend? I’m sure they won’t be bothered. In fact, I think they will get along very well. At least you could avoid my bad behaviour,” I was already prepared for the attack. And as always, he did not disappoint me. He took me by the arm, and he jerked me up from the seat. I turned my head to the side to avoid looking at his face, but he didn’t want any of that. He grabbed my hair and forced me to face him. My face was in front of him, and my eyes collided with his. His hard and unforgivable eyes.

“You have been warned, Nora. If you are not ready in time, you already know what awaits you.” That said, he released me, pushing me backwards. This, made me hit my hip on the table. Fortunately, that made my fall stop. The only thing left for me to do was nod my head, accepting it all. He looked at me for a moment, then turned and left my room. As if nothing had happened, I turned around, sat on my dresser, and continued brushing my hair. When I was done, I turned on the television and lay down on the bed. I fell fast asleep, dreaming of a better future for myself.

************

The next morning, I woke up with a headache. Maybe it was the tension that this day would bring me. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to do my morning routine. Dressing in sports clothes, I tied up my hair and left my room. I went downstairs and headed for the door. The house I live in is very large, in fact, it is huge. And it is surrounded by gardens, it is so big that it looks like a small forest. Every morning I do the same, I go for a run. This helps me to scatter my mind for a moment and forget about my tragedy.

An hour later, I returned home to have a bath. In this way, it was possible to avoid breakfast with them. I went back to my room and took a quick shower. Today I knew it was inevitable, so at once, I got my clothes ready. I always choose black to go to the Collins house. Black means I’m in mourning. Maybe they don’t know it, but my parents died a long time ago. They are no longer part of my life, and technically my last name is Costa, so it is all easier this way.