Nora and Erik; When we were nothing

This is my life now

Nora

It was lunchtime, we were all at the table. The maid started serving the soup, and when it was my turn, I shook my head. I wasn’t hungry. The food wasn’t the problem. It was them. I could barely sit around them without vomiting. Keeping my composure is what I was focusing on, I felt my sanity fading away through my hands.

“Carmela, serve my wife soup, and don’t remove the plate until it’s empty.” My husband Erik ordered her. Under the table, I was burying my nails in my leg. Our situation is getting worse and worse. To the point where I cannot tolerate their presence. I always have to come up with new excuses to avoid them. But it’s been almost impossible for me lately. Since he is determined that we share all the meals together. And of course, I had to go with him for meetings, or reunions. The worst part is that I must stay by his side. As if the whole world doesn’t know that this marriage is a joke. But I know why he’s doing it, he wants to humiliate me in front of everyone. He wants to make me pay for turning him down.

“I think Nora doesn’t like the soup, Honey. You shouldn’t force her like that. That’s not healthy. Honestly, I think she doesn’t have much appetite.” Commented my husband’s hypocritical and nosy lover of the month. I didn’t even bother looking up, as I know him well; if he says I must finish my soup, then I must. The soup was put on my plate by the help, who then left. Unable to do anything else, I grabbed the spoon and began to eat. The taste of this should be great, but it tastes like cardboard to me. The company of these people always spoils my appetite.

“Hijo, be mindful of your wife. How do you suppose she will behave sharing the table with your guest? It is already difficult when you invite them into the house, let alone having them intron of her face. Your affairs are your own, keeping them private should be your priority. Try not to involve the family. Show a bit of respect to your wife, and me. Discretion is better.”

Oh, wow! Rosa, my mother-in-law, stood up to me. She comes from a different era, and I understand this very well. The infidelity of her husband is something she has had to accept her entire life. Rest in peace, fortunately. It disgusts me, however, to hear her suggest that he should keep his marital infidelity hidden behind closed doors. She has made me hate her so much.

Only occasionally do I exchange words with her. It is something I avoid completely. His mother cannot be touched by anyone, no matter who they are. It was clear to me through blows that I was not to contradict her or upset her. If Rosa complains about something, my husband will not hesitate to correct me. I should have known that this family really has no loyalty to anyone, nor respect. I’m stuck here, and I have no way to get out. At the moment all I can do is hold on. Although on second thought, this, from the beginning, could not have been avoided.

Since I was a child, exactly when I turned ten, my fate was sealed. I remember that day perfectly. It was my birthday, my dad threw a great party. I’ve never had such a lavish birthday like that one. He did not skimp on anything. There were all kinds of food for everybody. He even hired a small funfair for all the boys and girls who attended. There was even a carousel with real horses. That day was a dream, and that was also the day I saw him for the first time. Erik Costa, my husband. He is ten years older than me. At that time he was twenty. As a child, I saw him as a giant, his gaze always direct and without any expression. All the time with a poker face. I even thought his bad temper was because he didn’t like me. But as the party progressed, I could see that he was looking at me a lot, I didn’t know why. He was alone in a corner watching me play with the other children. Occasionally I would see him talking to other adults. I didn’t think any more of that, after all, it was my party and I had to be the centre of attention.

But after cutting the cake and opening the presents, my dad called me into his office. Nothing weird about that, most of the time I was with him, helping him (that’s what I thought). When I opened the door to his office and my dad saw me walk in, he smiled warmly at me. I knew my dad loved me, he just didn’t show it much at times. But when he did, I could feel his sincerity and his love (that was my wishful thinking). When he closed the door, I hadn’t noticed that someone else was there. Until I turned my head to where the meeting room was. It was him, the man who was staring at me. I turned to see my dad with uncertainty. “Daughter, come closer, I want to introduce you to a very important person.” My father said, but I was just wondering why someone important wanted to talk to me? I walked over to where my dad was and took his hand.

He guided me to where the man was sitting and motioned for me to take a seat. The man just stared at me intensely. I would have liked to know what he was thinking. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at me, until my dad spoke. “Nora, love, this is Erik Costa. He is the son of a very important business partner, and he came especially to meet you.”