Chapter Six

Yubi

His mouth is still on mine when my back hits the wall.

I don’t even remember moving. All I know is that one second I was standing there, drowning in the shock of his lips on mine, and the next, Trey is kissing me in like his life is depending on it. 

His hand is warm against my jaw, holding me still, almost like he is afraid I will vanish if he lets go. My heart is beating so loudly I’m sure he can hear it. Maybe he can feel it too, because my chest is pressed against his, the heat of him melting right through my clothes.

“Trey” My voice comes out broken. Small. Too full.

He pulls back just an inch, his forehead resting on mine.

His breath shakes. “Tell me to stop,” he whispers again. 

But I don't say anything, I try to speak but nothing comes out, I don't want him to stop. 

Because this feels like every day I have tried to avoid him, every hidden glance, every stupid flutter in my chest all of it crashing into reality.

“You shouldn’t have kissed me,” I breathe.

“I know,” he whispers, brushing his nose against mine.

“Then why did you?”

“Because I can’t stay away from you anymore Yubi.” he confesses

My whole body tightens at his words.

I want to deny it. I want to say he’s lying or confused or caught up in the moment.

But his voice is too raw. Too real and I know because I feel the same exact way about him. 

“Trey” I whisper again, but this time it sounds like a plea.

He cups my cheek, thumb brushing the corner of my lips like he’s memorizing them. “If you want me to stop,” he says softly, “you will have to say it now Yubi because if we continue, I won't be able to stop myself anymore.”

But I don’t want him to stop, I have never wanted anything so much in my life. 

My fingers curl into his shirt, pulling him back down to me.

“Don’t stop, please don't stop.” I whisper against his lips. 

He exhales sharply, like he has been holding his breath, and kisses me again 

deeper, slower, more intentional. 

His lips move with a purpose that makes my knees wobble. I cling to him because I have to, because I feel like if he lets go, the earth will tilt and throw me off.

His tongue brushes mine, and I gasp into the kiss, my entire body arching toward him instinctively.

Trey pulls away long enough to look at me, his eyes darker, softer, hungry and terrified at the same time. “Yubi, you don’t know what you are doing to me.”

“I feel it, it's the same thing you're doing to me” I whisper.

He groans under his breath and lifts me effortlessly, my legs wrapping around his waist without thought. I feel the strength in him, the tension in his muscles, the heat radiating through his clothes.

He carries me towards his room, kissing me between steps, like he can’t bear to stop touching me even long enough to breathe.

Every brush of his lips sends sparks racing over my skin, my stomach twisting with anticipation and fear and something far deeper than I’m ready to name.

“Trey,” I breathe as he sets me on his bed, his body hovering over mine, braced on his arms so he doesn’t crush me.

His eyes search my face. “You are shaking.”

I am, I can feel it, but it’s not fear.

Or maybe it is, but the good kind. The kind that comes right before a leap you know is going to change your life.

“I have never had sex before” I whisper, staring at his chest instead of his eyes.

I feel him freeze up. 

“Yubi.” His voice drops, almost breaking. “You are a virgin?”

I nod, my cheeks burning, suddenly very aware of how inexperienced I am. How impossible this is. How wrong. How forbidden. How intoxicating.

He lowers himself to sit beside me, one hand gently pushing my hair away from my face. “We don’t have to do anything,” he says, his voice steady but full of emotion. “I don’t want to take something from you just because we are caught up in this.”

“You are not taking anything,” I whisper. “I want this Trey, I want you.”

That makes him inhale sharply like the words punched the air right out of him.

I continue before I lose my courage. “I trust you.”

His eyes close for a second, as if those words physically affect him. When they open again, they are full of warmth and fire. “I will go slow,” he murmurs. “You tell me everything you feel, every second. If something hurts, if you get scared, if you want me to stop”

“I won’t,” I whisper.

He leans down and kisses me, not hungry this time, but tender, like he’s savoring me.

His hand brushes down my arm, slow enough to make my breath hitch.

Then his fingers lace with mine, grounding me.

“I’m right here,” he whispers against my lips.

And he is. He kisses me softly at first, letting me adjust, letting me learn the shape of his mouth, the rhythm of his breath. 

He explores my lips gently, patiently, as if he’s guiding me.

His hands slide over me, brushing my waist, my back, my hip never rushing, never assuming.

Every touch sends a shiver through me.

Every kiss makes me want more.

I feel like I’m dissolving into him, piece by piece, until all that’s left is heat and need and the thundering heartbeat in my chest.

“Trey” I breathe when his lips trail down my neck, warm and slow. My fingers tangle in his hair, and he groans softly against my skin.

He lifts his head, eyes heavy with emotion. “are you okay?”

“Yes,” I whisper. “More than okay.”

He smiles, a small, breathless smile and lowers himself again, kissing down the line of my throat, across my collarbone, each touch sending shock waves of heat my entire body. 

I feel his hands slide beneath the hem of my top, pausing, he waits and does nothing until I nod.

He lifts it off gently, as if he is unwrapping something fragile. His breath stutters, and he closes his eyes like he is trying to get himself under control.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispers.

His mouth finds mine again, hungrier this time, and I feel his weight shift as he lowers himself beside me, pulling me closer, letting me feel every inch of his warmth.

We move slowly learning each other, discovering new reactions, exploring new places where his touch makes me gasp or tremble or arch against him.

And when he finally lays me back, kissing me with a tenderness that makes my chest ache, I know exactly what’s coming.

He brushes my hair back again, his thumb stroking my cheek as he looks at me with a softness I have never seen in him. “I will be gentle,” he whispers.

“I know,” I breathe.

Then he kisses me deep, slow, full of promise and the world disappears as he slowly pushes into me, filling me up, and we become one, and it feels like we were meant for each other.