Darkness and trauma

Adonis

“Adonis?” I heard someone say softly somewhere beside me. I opened my tightly shut eyes, and clenched my jaw. I was sitting on one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs with my elbows resting on my knees and my head bowed. It was so difficult to keep the memories away when I knew Cora was about to die somewhere in the emergency room.

This was the ultimate trigger a couple of my therapists had mentioned. A trigger that could undo all of the progress and peace closure brings. The thing was that, I knew deep down that I never found closure from all the fucked up shit in my mind. All of that fear, anger, rage and pain were all bottled inside me. And that was why I have bouts of very deep depressions from time to time. Isolation. Period of self-loathing. Periods where I seemed to be most dangerous, yet that was when I was most vulnerable. Periods where I could not let anyone see the pain in my eyes.

Periods like now.

I never completed therapy. Beca