It was hard to act like everything was alright no matter how I tried to shove the whole thing to the back of my mind and pretend like it never happened. Exams were drawing in but so was the distraction, nothing seemed to be helping it was always one thing or the other. Just when I think I survived an obstacle another just springs up out of nowhere. As soon as the bell rang I picked up my bag and dashed out not bothering to wait for May or Kelsey and even the car that came to pick me from school just so I wouldn’t have to be in the same space with Kelsey and keep trying to see through her eyes. It was weird and I couldn't keep doing that. I booked a cab when it was five minutes to the closing time and when the bell rang the cab was already packed outside waiting for me. “Hey, I had a girl’s emergency so I had to rush home. I would see you tomorrow” I sent a text to both of them so they wouldn't be worried or start suspecting that something was wrong I walk through the front do
“What is wrong with you?” I asked breathing heavily “I didn’t say anything” he shrugged with that stupid smirk plastered on his damn face “I know what you are trying to do and just like I told you last night don’t fucking do anything stupid,” I said through my teeth “But I just put out a scenario out there” he shrugged “You didn’t say I couldn’t do that,” he said “Just fucking stop it!” I shouted forgetting that I was trying to be discreet, luckily there was no one around lurking behind the cafeteria where I pulled him to “So what are you going to do?” He asked “Tell me I would like to know” he pressed on when I said nothing “You can’t just bury it under the ground and act like it doesn’t exist,” he told me “What if I do?” I asked “Then that is just fucking sad, letting people off easy and giving them more chance to walk over you is just pathetic” he shot at me “Yes it is, it fucking is. I remind myself that every damn time I see you around me” I spat at him, the anger tak
I didn’t want to see it again, I didn’t want to hear his voice repeating those words in my head but I couldn’t stop it, the moment I got out of his car and slammed the door it followed me home, it followed me up the stairs, it followed me under the covers, I told myself again and again it wasn’t true, that Dylan had planted it all, that it was just another cruel game he made up to see me fall apart, but no matter how hard I fought against it a small piece of me kept asking, how would he know all of that, how would he know things. I pressed my pillow against my face and prayed for sleep but sleep never came. The night dragged on and didn't want to come to an end, every time I closed my eyes I saw the picture he showed me, the way he pointed at the i’s, the t’s, saying her name, saying Kelsey, and I hated myself because I had seen it too, and I hated him more because he had planted that seed of doubt in me. How horrible must I be to believe the words of Dylan about a friend who has
“You must be out of your fucking mind” I shot at him and turned to the door handle struggling to open it so I could bolt out but somehow I didn’t know how to open a car door anymore. My whole body trembled at what he said. I spent the whole day thinking about the note that at some point I started to look at my friends differently thinking maybe I missed something but I immediately called myself back and was ashamed of myself for buying into his bullshit. “They would never do that to me” I kept repeating to myself but it hasn’t been easy to especially since I was sitting in the same car with him having him repeat what he said with a name this time. I could never believe him. Never. “Are you willing to listen?” He asked “No!” I shouted “I don’t want to hear whatever rubbish you fucking have to say!” I added breathing heavily like I had run a marathon “You can’t keep acting this way,” he said his face scrunched up in disgust all of a sudden “Fucking tell me Dylan, act wha
I lay in bed staring at the ceiling and the shadows of the tree branch outside my window that danced across the walls. My mind was not on the ceiling or the shadows, it was on that note, those words that Dylan claimed had been written by someone close to me, someone who knew me well enough to use all scars against me, someone who hated me enough to write such evil things and give it to him. All for what? The person wrote, “advising” him to stay away from me, which made it more ridiculous because I also wanted him to stay away from me. I didn't like how Dylan was so sure that it had to be people around me, the seed of doubt that was planted in my heart was beginning to grow. He said it so firmly like he could be convinced otherwise, but I could not allow myself to accept that, not even for a second, because if I did then it meant one of the few people I trusted was stabbing me right through the chest and that was something I wasn’t ready to face. So I kept repeating it in my h
DYLAN She didn’t believe me even after reading the letter herself and seeing the vile words written, insulting her and calling her out of her name, she didn’t believe when I told her it had to be someone who knew her pretty well that would write such a thing against her but tried to turn it on me instead. I could have easily told her what I saw instead of letting her read all those hateful words but I knew she wasn’t going to believe anything I said that was why I showed it to her and had her read knowing how hurtful it would be for her and even after that she wanted to make herself believe that it was something I fabricated for reasons best known to her. But how could it be me? When I barely knew anything about her or about how many marriages her mom had been in or her mental breakdown and traumatic childhood. I was so sure that it was someone who knew her who was responsible and that meant someone she was close to and just like she had said there were only two people she was cl