CHAPTER 2

HAZEL

Cosmo places his hand on my head, his fingers running through my hair. He’s pleased that I'm submissive, obeying and remaining still while everyone howls, Including him. It's a display of my loyalty to him as my intended mate. It's a show of understanding my place in our packs.

I may possess the heart of an Alpha, but I will never be the Alpha. Men are stronger. I accept that. I accept my place. I accept him. 

On most days, I think, recalling my mother's warning about choosing my battles. 

Swallowing, I wait for the men to calm down and for the next phase of this ceremony to begin.

Cosmo circles me, his eyes roaming over my exposed skin. I can feel his approval and pure interest. He knows he will finally be allowed to taste me tonight. My own interest is sickening my thighs. He’s an Alpha in his prime, a beautiful specimen of a male with jawline I have wanted to lick from the moment I first laid my eyes on him. 

Cosmo leans down to press a kiss to my temple, his breath warm as he whispers, “I can smell your arousal, Hazel. Your pussy cat tells me you are already ready for me, aren't you, Princess?”

I don't answer. Not because I don't want to, but because I just can't. 

He chuckles, his lips meeting my temple again as he adds, “Good girl.”

Another test—one I pass. Because I know better than to move or reply. I don't even clench my legs despite the heavy desire pooling between them. 

I focus on my wolf instead and my excitement to finally feel her outside of my heart. 

The need to shift is all consuming now, with the moon and added seduction against my skin. 

But I have to wait. Cosmo will call on me when he's ready, when he's finally chosen me publicly.

“I accept,” I hear him growl, a few of the wolves chuckling at the clear intent in his tone. 

I have never attended a mating ball ceremony, but I have heard stories. Sometimes the males claim their females for the pack to see, not just via their bitten mark, but their bodies as well. I’m hoping Cosmo doesn't go that route. I want the freedom to run once he allows me to shift.

But I won't be able to fight him whenever he forces me back into human form. 

So he could technically make me shift quickly between forms, claim me, then let me run. 

Or he may never let me run at all.

It's a fear I have harboured all my life. I have met females whose mates preferred them in human form. However, I think Cosmo will approve of my wolf and let me free. Our meetings have all been positive so far and the fact that he calls me Hazel says he respects my choices. 

A low hum of growls ignites in the air, the wolves anticipating the final bond. 

I have missed whatever Alpha Arturo has said, my mind too focused on what comes next.

Cosmo’s palm encircles the back of my neck as he steps into my space, placing my head near his upper thigh. He’s tall and wider than me, as are most male shifters. I have always been petite for my status, my Alpha tendencies are more inside than my outside.

“Close your eyes, princess,” Cosmo says softly, his opposite hand going to my cheek in a tender caress. “This is going to hurt, but I'm here with you–every step of the way.” 

I do what he requests, my body alight with nervous energy. It buzzes through my veins, sending a tingling sensation to my fingertip.

The final test.

Cosmo releases a low growl, one that causes my wolf to whine inside me. She doesn't want to be forced out; she wants to choose when to come out but that’s not how this works.

She's not in charge here. Cosmo is, and she has to respect that or we will both pay the ultimate price— which was rejection. 

He growls again, this time with a little force, sending vibrations down my limbs. I force myself to breathe, to remain calm, to let him control my change. But his third growl is harsher now, demanding my animal to comply and causing my bones to snap beneath his power. 

By the fifth growl, tears were rolling from my closed eyes, my wolf fighting the call of our mate. 

“It's natural to fight the transformation process,” my mother warned me before the ceremony. “just let nature take its course. The Alpha wants a strong mate. And you're the strongest of all of us.”

Cosmo’s grip on my neck tightens, his growl becoming even more aggressive.

I lose count of how many times he snarls.

I’m too lost to the sensation of my bones snapping and shifting, the movement foreign and painful. 

How do the females submit to changing back for the claiming? I wonder, my insides turning to liquid hot fire as a whimper escapes my lips. How do they enjoy the claiming?

I have heard that it is a beautiful ceremony filled with passion and pleasure.

But I can't imagine feeling that right now. I bite my tongue to keep myself from screaming as my legs finally give out from under me. Cosmo keeps me in my position with his hands on my neck and my cheeks. 

It hurt. 

It felt as though he was going to snap my neck. 

It felt unnatural.

I need him to release me, to let me finish my shift. Is he punishing me for taking too long? Is he holding me like this to prove to me that he's in charge?

I whine, my body his to control entirely. What more does he want? I can't… I can't fight him. He’s too powerful. Too masculine. Too Alpha. 

He finally releases me and unleashes a growl that vibrates through every inch of my being. The wolf inside him demanded my animal to come to life. 

She snarls in response, but neither of us can fight his call.

I curl into a ball as the shift takes over entirely, my body contorting in ways it's never done before.

This must be why they don't allow us to meet our inner animal until our mating because it hurts.

As much as I want to see my animal, I don't appreciate the pain it requires to meet her. I feel weak. I feel unworthy. I feel vulnerable and soft.

A mewl leaves my lips unbidden, my limbs shaking as the final phase of my transformation hits my core.

And then everything stops.

The agony. The fear. The anticipation. It just melts away as silence descends.

Peace.

Serenity.

My wolf yawns and stretches, happy to be finally free.

Except the sudden intake of air around me has my wolf’s ears flattening in concern. She doesn't like that sound and neither do I. 

I sniff, trying to draw out the cause of concern. It ruffles my fur, the stench of it growing by the second. 

“What sick joke is this?” Alpha Arturo demand. “What the fuck is going on here?”

I blink in confusion, my heart skipping a beat. Cosmo, no longer at my side, stands a dozen feet away, his gaze fixed on me with disgust and irritation that cuts deep.

I lift my head, the sensation a bit strange as the muscles in my neck are new to this form. 

I can't stand yet, my limbs still awkward beneath me.

I glance down to try to figure out where to put my paws and how to…

Black fur.

I stared at it. 

Why do I have black fur?

It should be white. All silver moon pack wolves have white fur. And all Crim

son dawn pack wolves have gray fur.

The shadow moon pack is home of the Brute wolves. 

And Brute wolves have Black furs.

Black fur, like the demon.

Black fur, like…

Like my paws.

Oh, moon goddess, I'm in deep trouble.