Prologue

Chapter 01| Life She Has

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|AVA SANDERS|

I was busy getting our dried clothes at the back of our house when a voice nearly shock me to trip into one of the stones on the ground. 

"Avie!" I creased my brows when I heard her say my name like that. I always tell her that my name is Ava but she argued, that it sounded the same. Does Avie sounds like Ava? So, I just let her do what she wants. 

"It's still early yet your voice seems to wake everyone up, Mira! Tone down your voice, will you?" I calmly said as she appeared in front of me. 

She was grinning like there's something good happened. 

"What's with your face? Stop it!" 

I rolled my eyes as I continued collecting our dried clothes that I put yesterday after washing. I might be busy tomorrow that was why I washed our clothes as early as my usual date to do the chores. I'll be looking for a part-time job or even try to look for one where I can be a regular employee to help with our needs and for the needed necessities in the house. 

I don't want my mother to be stressed out anymore. She has done enough for her to raise me alone for years. I appreciated all her efforts and I wanted to give her the benefit back. 

"Well, you know what?! I've heard there was a shop that's looking for two! This might be our chance, Avie! Oh, my god!" She shrieked in a high pitch, my ears already bleeding. 

"Tone down your voice, Mira! It doesn't help that your voice isn't even that good to my ears. Gosh, let my ears rest for a while!" 

I was only kidding but she seemed like she took it seriously because she went silent for a moment. But that was what I thought when her voice seems to get louder even before. 

"Whatever Avie! Hmph! You're so mean. I'll really sell you out to Tita Cyra!" 

I tilted my head as my ears couldn't take her loud voice. I can really feel it's bleeding. She has no conscience, I tell you. Gosh, she's frustratingly annoying. 

"My Mom's not your 'Tita'. Call her Aunt!" I said to make her nose flare in so much irritation from me. 

Well, basically you call your friend's mom 'Tita' if you are close and 'Aunt' if you're not. That was what we call each other's Mom here in our place. Tito for their husbands. 

Mirabel Scott was my friend for years now. Since the day we transferred here in their place, I think? I couldn't remember when exactly but it has already been years since her, being my only best friend. 

"Whatever Avie! You're a sheet of a friend!"

"You really need to stitch your mouth, Mira! That's so unladylike!"

"Unladylike, my ass! Grow up, Ava! You're not one of those sweety sheets of teenagers anymore!"

"You're hopeless!"

"Nah, compared to you bitch!"

"God!"

"Now, you're giving up?" She mocked me while walking, her body facing me though. 

I rolled my eyes heavenward as I put the clothes in the basket and reached for the remaining clothes that were hanging in a thin wire. 

"Just get your ass out of here, Mira. Get lost will you?"

"What a loser you are, Avie! I'll talk to you later! Bye!"

I shook my head and breathe deeply. My energy seemed like it was already drained. I really couldn't keep up with her energy. She has that so much. 

But despite all that, she remained my friend. She was and is real to me, unlike others who befriend me because of my face. Yea, I looked like some rich spoiled brat in a luxurious village but I just looked like one. And whenever they will found out the truth that I was living like a rat in an old house, they'd try to mix bad words after my name. Make me the villain of a story. 

Such hypocrites. 

"Av?" A soft voice made those thoughts vanish like a bubble in the air. 

"Mom? You're up early," I commented before getting the basket of clothes and going inside the back door of our house. 

When I walked inside, I saw her not-so-tall physique who was drinking water already. Her jet-black hair that mirrored mine was in a high bun. Unlike her, mine was only at my shoulder length. 

"I told you to just rest today, Mom. I'll be checking the shop Mira was telling me about earlier. You don't need-," she cut me off by placing her palm in the air, making me stop talking. 

"I'm not even doing anything, child. What makes you think I'll be going outside today? Besides, I want to fix something in my room. Don't worry! It's not that heavy of work, my daughter. Stop worrying okay? You'll grow old fast that way!" 

When she laughed, I couldn't stop my lips to form a smile despite her teasing me like I'm really old already but I'm just twenty! Her old jokes never die. Well, as for me as her one and only gorgeous daughter. 

"That's good, Mom. Just let me do the work now, okay?" I tapped her shoulders twice before striding my way into the living room to fold our clothes before I go with Mira to the shop she mentioned a while back. 

"What about your studies, Av? It'll be a lot more-,"

"Mom, I told you!" I cut her off and heaved a sigh. 

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" I didn't look at her again and slumped down on the old rattan sofa in our small living room. 

I don't care about studying anymore. If she keeps on getting so stressed out from work, I don't think I could peacefully focus on my studies. She was the only one I have now. I don't want to lose her this early. I still want her to be with me through the ups and downs of my life. 

Though, I already finished high school. I could already move to College but I still don't think it was the right time to have that. I secretly had special classes wherein if I passed all the subjects, I'll be going straight to college right away because I don't want her to work hard again just to support my studies. As I've said, I don't want to cause her stress. She'd had enough already. 

This was the kind of life that no one in the circle of those privileged people could understand. I mean, not all of them but most. 

Not going to stereotype but I've learned the hard way. Enough for me to understand how hard life was at an early age. 

I was still a kid when I felt the heavy pressure of my mother just to raise me with the things usually kids should have. I watched my mother break her bones just to give me anything even if I don't ask her. I watched her get exhausted but was able to smile at me nevertheless. I watched how she strived hard just for me to eat thrice in a day. 

And all I can do was watch. The pain to see her cry every day was too excruciating because she was feeling tired and hopeless with the kind of life we have. I watch her defend me from those people who bullied me just because of our low status in life. 

The pain and hatred for those people who belittled us were too much but I learned to accept it from the heart. Hatred was a big word. And I don't want to live with negativity that was why I was no longer affected when other people mocked us. 

Or maybe, I was just that good at hiding my pain that I can say that I really am. 

All I want for my mother is to live her life to the fullest. With no heavy responsibilities on her shoulders anymore. With no worries, I could eat thrice a day. With no other reason but to enjoy her life. Because now, I can do so much already. I can work for us, I can already carry the responsibility that I should have for bringing me to life. And because I can already have the chance to give back what she gave me all her life. 

"You will not abandon the idea of you, studying right?" 

I stopped folding my pair of clothes when her soft voice reached my hearing. I cleared the lump in my throat that was causing me to breathe heavily when pain crawled inside me. 

After all, I'm still human. I was still the little girl who dreams to study in a school and reaching her dream in the long run. The little girl who was eager before to step her feet inside a school. 

But that little bubble of hope already popped up. It vanished into thin air. 

"I already did," I whispered because I don't want her to hear that. 

I don't want to hurt her. 

Because that was what her dreams were before and until now. She wanted me to finish school because she couldn't. That was the only thing she wanted for me before she'll bid her goodbye. I don't want to think further because it might break me again into pieces. 

I was already beyond repair. 

"Of course, Mom! I just need to stop for now," I cleared my throat and blinked my eyes secretly. I was glad m

y voice didn't crack or I'll be cursing myself if I did. 

"That can wait," No...

I already lost my will to wait. 

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and everything that concerns a living and non-living thing on Earth are all a product of the Author's wild imagination. Any resemblance to an actual person, living and dead is purely coincidental. 

Warning: Any typos, grammatical errors, or any kinds of errors you may encounter in this book are off of your concern as I am writing not to please everyone but to share my wild and different ideas to create something you can relate to as well as to help others to find peace and healing while reading the story. 

Beware of the contents of this book as there will be some offensive words and actions that are needed in the story such as violence and verbal and non-verbal sensitive parts. You may and may not proceed to the next chapter if you feel off at some point or anything related to it. 

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Chapter 00|Prologue

I was never this wasted my entire life. How did I even end up this way? 

I laughed without humor as I rest my aching head on the table. The light coming from the dance floor was making me so dizzier that I just wanted to throw up what I had drank for hours. 

I was at a bar, alright. I wanted to forget how stuffed up my life has been. But who said that liquor will help a person forget a certain memory? They were all lies! They got me there. 

I laughed for the second time but with tears rolling from my bloodshot eyes now. The pain was not so bearable that I had to resort to drinking liquors that I'd never done my whole life. They were right when they say when you had it bad liquor is your last resort to forget the pain. They were also wrong with the fact that it will make me forget because I can't and did not for freaking sake! Why did I even listen to that? Huh?! Those words just fooled me and made me believe things that I shouldn't have done. 

A waiter passed by on my side carrying trays with different drinks. 

"Hey! Can I get two?!" My words were slurred, probably because I was too drunk to speak straight. 

He glanced back in my direction and sighed. If my eyes told me right. He walked and silently gave me two glasses of a different color. 

"Thanks! You saved me!" 

I watched him getting blurry as he vanished through the sea of crowds in the middle of the place. I was drinking the moment I entered this bar. I will probably go home without any penny left in my pocket. This bar is only for exclusive people and I don't belong here! But hey! Who cares?! 

I giggled with the thoughts running inside my mind. I was really drunk because if I was sane now, I will never act and thought like one. 

I didn't care what was the drinks on my table now but when I straightly drank the first one, it made my head throb in so much pain. My throat burned I expected it to break already. I caressed my throat. I think it was already damaged enough for me to get hard in speaking. I will probably regret that I get myself wasted like this. But it was still the beginning of the night! I'll just go regret my ass for doing this first thing tomorrow. 

Right now, I just wanted to get rid of the pain inside me. I feel like I'll die soon because it was bottled up and with the intensity of it, I don't think I can take it if I will not let it all out. 

So, tonight, let's get it all out! 

My mind was already clouded but I remembered dancing on the dance floor. The wild beast of the song made me dance like it was my last day already. 

I just found myself calling someone on my phone. I called my friend to fetch me from here. My mother might be waiting for me already. Dancing on the dancefloor made my mind loosen a bit but it was already haywire. I don't think I was sane when I hit my phone to call someone. 

"Hey?" My sleepy eyes slowly open as I stared at the crowds in the middle, wildly dancing with everyone else. 

"H-hi, Mirabel! C-can-- fetch-, me?" 

It was slurred, I hope she understand what I said. There was silence after I said that that was why I speak again. 

"Mira! Yuh-hoo!" I chuckled and bang my head on the table lightly but the glass made a sound. I wasn't sure what happened but I continue to move my head to meet the table. And that being said, the glass made a sound too. 

"Ava? Is that you? Where are you? Damn!"

"Hmm?" I hummed as I didn't get what Mira said. 

"Where the hell are you, Ava?"

My eyes opened but they closed again. Was that Maxx? I giggled and rest my chin on the table. 

"Maxxyy~," I giggled again as I watched the people dance with no hesitations. 

I envied them. They were here to enjoy but I, on the other hand, was here to forget what had happened but to no avail. Now that Maxx's on the other line, it made me remember why I was here. 

"Maxxyy~ Why did you- me?" I wasn't able to finish what I was saying when I feel the need to throw up. 

I frantically made my way into the bathroom of the bar. I bumped into people and I stumbled many times on the floor but I really need to throw up that was why I did my best to pass through them all and open the first door I saw. 

It was dark and I didn't know if the place was really the restroom. I heard the voices of women that was why I felt glad. After vomiting in one of the cubicles, I weakly walked out and face my reflection in the mirror that was attached to the wall. My eyes were bloodshot not because I cried but because I was too drunk to realize I looked like a zombie already. My hair was a mess, my lipstick was spread on my mouth and my dress was already crumpled. In short, I looked like a mess of a zombie. 

I walked out of the restroom and as soon as I can my feet, a calloused hand gripped my right arm. 

"Let's go," my eyebrows furrowed in confusion but because I suddenly felt sleepy, I let the person drag me anywhere. 

After minutes of feeling like I was floating, my back felt like, I was put on a soft mattress. 

"You're freaking wasted! What the hell?! What are you doing to yourself, Ava?" I can only hear a muffled voice but I can feel its softness. 

"Damn this!"

"Hmm?" I opened my eyes only to be welcomed by darkness. My head started to throb in so much pain as if someone has been hitting me using a hammer. My arms, legs, and all over my body felt sore. 

I tried to move my arms but it seemed like something heavy was there to prevent me from moving it. I tried to shake it off but to no avail. The darkness wasn't helping that was why I tried to grope under my pillow in case I would find a phone or something that can help me see through the dark. 

The moment I got a hold of a phone, I mindlessly open it to see what was the heavy thing in my arms. 

"The fu-!" 

I almost lose it. No, I did lose it! 

My eyes grew wider when it dawned on me who I was with on the bed, naked. I felt hot liquids flow down from my eye sockets. The pain I was feeling yesterday was nothing compared to what I've realized that has happened. 

Why? How come? 

I couldn't even formulate the right question to ask nor say to justify what happened. 

I had sex with Maxim Alexander Cordova. The man who has fucking fiance! 

What has life given me throughout? It was all pain. I was never given the chance to fully enjoyed life. It was always backed up with pain. And thinking that I will ruin a freaking engagement, made me lose myself even more. 

How? What happened? Why me? 

It was the time I realized, it happened for a reason. 

It happened to pacify my loneliness. To heal my unending doubts with my life. It happened because life was preparing me for more. For a harder situation. 

Do I regret what happened? 

No, I must say. Because life has given me the chance to correct all my mistakes. I t was to have my chance again to fully accept my fate, of what had happened in the past. It was to give me lessons and realizations I never did think of. 

It was to prepare me for living a new life. 

"Congratulations, Mommy! It's a boy!"