CHAPTER 02

The hell with that question!

I started feeling uneasy by running my fingers across my hand. Elisha's question caused my heart rate rise dramatically.

That memory I already buried down the grave were trying to escape again.

One month ago, I was with Elisha that day in Italy for an Art Exhibit. I was cordially invited by the Artist itself and I can’t say no since he was a former client of my company. I originally invited Elisha and our other friend but the latter declined. Saktong available si Elisha kaya siya lang ang nakasama ko.

What happened to me during the event were totally unexpected up until I woke up the next morning , naked with red stained behind the white bed sheet as an evidence that I lost my virginity with the stranger who became my savior and my one night stand vanquisher.

“You returned home in different clothes, wearing a men's white long sleeve, your hair was unkempt, and you smelled like alcohol. You definitely used your masquerade disguise to get home safely. It's a good thing you wore your own slip shorts back to our hotel." She explained.

"E…" I could feel my cheeks turn into red because of embarrassment.

I thought she was sleeping well when I got back to our hotel. She was already waiting for me and just observing how fucked up I am that time. Damn!

"It’s okay, I understand B. No need to explain.” She smiled at me.

When I awoke from my pretend sleep, she didn't ask where I was from or why I had already returned home the next morning, so I assume I had passed her by.

I ended my work vacation in Italy, as is usual for business travel. A little shopping, a cheese and pasta treat at a famous Italian restaurant, and an opportunity to revisit the Trevi Fountain.

“Uy, pero in fairness ha? Sharp shooter si Adan!”

Agad nanlaki ang aking mata dahil sa pagkabigla sa naging tahasan niyang biro.

“Elisha! Your mouth!”

“What? I’m just being honest though. Bakit, hindi ba? He is really a sharp shooter! One time big time! Sana nga lang talaga dakila ang sandata at pogi yung Adan na naka-bomba romansa mo sa Italy para hindi ka lugi!” Hirit pa nito.

Itong babaeng ito wala talagang preno ang bibig pagdating sa pang-aasar.

Well, I can say she is almost true to what she conclude. Alam ko na hindi pa rin ako lugi dahil hindi lang gwapo ang lalaking iyon.

He is everything. So perfect, greatly ideal.

“Hey! Kidding aside, what's important right now is your health. You need to be healthy and stress-free for you and the baby." She smiled at me.

“I will. Thanks a lot to you E.”

It is important that I take care of my health. I need be mentally and physically prepared for this pregnancy. I don't want my baby to feel as if I don't want him inside my womb.

Right now, I still have time to think on how I will tell this to my family. I'm still at ease because my brother and abuelo were both out of the country for business. I still have time to decide how to convey the news to them.

"Uy B, you're spacing out again!" I heard fingers snapped in front of me.

I blinked and shifted my attention to Elisha. "Ha? What?"

Napairap na lang siya dahil hindi na naman ako nakikinig sa kanyang sinasabi. Masyado kasi akong pre-occupied tungkol sa pamilya ko.

"Kasasabi ko lang kanina na bawal ang stress eh!"

"I’m sorry! Saan na ba tayo? Ano na bang pinag-uusapan natin?" tanong ko na lang.

Napairap naman ito. "As what I have said, I'm going to call Geordane—"

"What? No!" Agad kong putol.

No! Not Geordane!

"Wala na tayong ibang puwedeng lapitan kundi siya lang." She faced me with determination. "Sinong gusto mong tawagan ko? Your brother?"

Oh God! Her final statement is far more dangerous than the first.

Mariin akong napapikit. Mas lalong hindi namin puwedeng tawagan si Kuya. Gaya nga ng sabi ko, hindi pa ako handa na sabihin sa kanya yung tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko.

On the other hand, Geordane is a very good option since she is our best friend too, and she's an Obstetrician/Gynecologist Doctor. She can assist me more with my pregnancy because it is her area of expertise. I also trust her since, like Elisha, Geordane is my best friend, and we grew up together after she was fostered by my abuelo.

The only thing keeping me from calling her and asking for her help is that she works at my brother's hospital.

"I’ll go with my first suggestion B. For sure, Geordane won't dare to spill the milk to your brother," saad ni Elisha na may tonong sigurado siya sa sinasabi niya.

"How can you be so sure?"

“Remember, they are no longer friends. G works under Bryce’s hospital but that’s it! Hanggang magkatrabaho na lang sila at alam kong hindi ka ilalaglag ni G. Sa sobrang iwas niya sa Kuya mo, malabong kahit Hi, Hello magawa niya kay Bryce.”

May tiwala naman ako kay Geordane pero natatakot lang ako na baka kapag nag-umpisa akong magpunta ng madalas sa Medicus ay maghinala na si Kuya at alam ko na marami rin ang puwedeng magduda lalo na kapag may mga test na ilalakad si Geordane na galing sa akin.

I don’t want to risk her profession and medical license just to tamper my identity in order to hide my pregnancy.

“Baka maghinala si Kuya kapag lagi na akong nasa office ni G─”

“Stop overthinking, will you? Leave it to me, I’ll handle this one.”

Wala akong nagawa ng humirit pa si Elisha na huwag na daw akong kumontra. I watched her grabbing her phone and dial Geordane's number. She put it on the speaker so I could hear everything.

"Hey, G! How are you?" Elisha greeted the other line.

[I'm okay, kababalik ko lang sa trabaho. Why?]

Saglit akong sinulyapan ni Elisha bago nagsalitang muli. Nag-uumpisa na akong pamawisan sa noo kahit naka centralized itong buong condo ko. Hindi rin ako mapakali sa aking kinauupuan dahil sa kabang namumuo sa dibdib ko.

"Perfect! I called to let you know that I and Blythe would be stopping by your clinic the day after tomorrow.”

[Hmmm, no problem, E. I don't have any surgeries or meetings scheduled on that day. Just text me before you come, okay?]

Oh, I forgot. Geordane is the Executive Vice President and Chief Hospital Operations Officer of Medicus Civitas aside from being a Surgeon and OB-Gyne and we’re lucky that she had free time on the day Elisha chose us to visit her workplace.

"Alright. Well, see you then,"

[Okay! Send my regards to Blythe.] And with that, the line went dead.

Elisha mouthed ‘I told you!’ before she stood up and went to the kitchen.

"Magpahinga ka na muna. Ako na magluluto for lunch." She said.

Nagpapasalamat ako at kahit napaka-busy ni Elisha sa sarili niyang trabaho ay nagagawa niya pa rin akong bisitahin at ngayon ay alagaan.

"Okay. Thanks, E!" I smiled back.

Nagtungo lang ako sa aking kuwarto para doon na magpahinga. Medyo nakakaramdam na rin kasi ako ng biglaang antok. Hindi ko na rin lang ni-lock ang pinto para mabilis lang akong magising ni Elisha kung oras na ng pananghalian.

Until now, I still can’t believe that I am actually bearing a child inside my flat tummy. I slowly caress it and started to daydream as if it is already a big baby bump.

I silently prayed for my baby's and my own safety, as well as for guidance and patience as I gave birth to my angel and began my new role as mother.

I have also a decided heart to not let the Father of my baby know that this angel exist. Hindi ko ipapaalam sa kanya na nagbunga ang isang mapangahas na gabing iyon sa pagitan namin.

What we shared in Italy will be my last glimpse of him.

I'll admit that I don't regret the way things went between I and him, but since it was wrong from the start, I have to permanently distance myself from him. He cannot again intrude upon me.

Kung bakit kasi sa lahat ng lalaki sa mundo ay siya pa.

I headed directly to my bed after finishing my belly cuddle in front of the mirror. I was about to close my eyes when my phone rang. I reached it on the bedside table.

Bryce Calling…

Natigilan akon nang makita ang pangalan sa screen ng aking phone. Nanuot bigla sa aking kalamnan yung lamig sa loob ng aking kwarto. Kasabay ng pamumuo ng pawis sa aking noo ay ang pagbuhay ng kaba sa aking dibdib.

Alam na ba niya? Is he calling to confirm it?

I just stared at the screen while my ears seemed to be deafened by the sound of the ringtone of my phone that I was holding. The first ring died, but it rings again.

This time, I pressed the green button with my fingers shaking badly.

"H-Hello, Kuya…"

[Why it took you so long to answer the phone, lady?] Bakas sa tono niya ang pagiging iritado.

I closed my eyes as I gather all my strength to stay calm.

"I'm sorry, Kuya, nasa banyo kasi ako ng tumawag ka," pagdadahilan ko.

[Hmm… How are you then? Medyo matamlay ka yata ngayon?]

I can't help myself but feel guilty about lying to my brother.

"I'm okay, K-Kuya. I'm quite busy in Solstice that's why. But I'm not sick," I assured him.

I tried to maintain my composure and feign a smile. I looked up just in time to catch sight of a portrait of my brother and me on the console table in front of me.

[Y'ah sure? I heard you've been to several conventions and expos in the last several weeks ago. Loosen up lady! Don’t be too workaholic.]

My brother never failed to check on me. Kahit pa may kanya-kanya na kaming buhay ay hindi niya nakakaligtaan na kamustahin ako. Madalas ay nagpapadala pa ito ng mga groceries sa akin o mga pagkain na luto niya.

“Kuya, really? You have so much nerve telling me that. Among the two of us, you are the most preoccupied to your work. Not me,” I rebutted.

Sa aming dalawa ay siya talaga itong napaka-workaholic to the point na yung bawat Linggo na pagbisita naming sa Villa Solandis ay hindi na niya magawa dahil lagi siyang out of the country.

[Okay fine, won’t argue about it. By the way, how’s the Art Exhibit you and Elisha attended last month?]

Hindi ko naman inaasahan ang tanong niyang iyon. Pero nagpaalam ako sa kanya noong nakaraang buwan tungkol sa ganap kong iyon.

“It… It was fine. It was beautiful and memorable…”

A beautiful memoir of my memorable mistake.

Ngayon pa lang humihingi na ako ng tawad kay Bryce dahil sa pagsisinungaling at paglilihim ko. I promise that when I get the courage, I will confront them with Grandpa to confess everything.

[Good to hear that. For sure, you gain new clients from there,]

“Yes, I do.” I answered timidly.

I can’t talk to him in our usual sibling conversation because I’m afraid I’ll end up crying for lying to him.

Nagtanong na lang ako sa kanya kung nagkita sila ni Geordane sa NYC since nandoon si din ang kaibigan ko noong nakaraan pero ang sagot ni Kuya ay hindi daw. Mukhang wala din naman siyang pakialam kay Geordane. Talagang trabaho na lang ang namamagitan sa kanila.

[Sige, I'll hang up now! May mga aasikasuhin pa ako. Take care there, lady. Don't stress yourself too much,] paalala pa niya sa akin.

Biglang akong naging uneasy lalo na nang pinaalalahanan niya ako tungkol sa sarili ko. Mas lalo lang akong kinakain ng konsensya ko.

"I will, Kuya. Bye!" Nahahapo akong ibinaba ang tawag at wala sa sariling napasandal sa headboard ng aking kama.

I hope everything will be fine.