5

Maxine’s POV

Since morning, I have been feeling nauseous. I want to throw up whenever I come to sniff someone’s perfume. My period is delayed and I know there’s a high chance that I could be pregnant.

But how? That weirdo used a protection that night and yet I got pregnant.

I got so scared to take the pregnancy test. The result positive is what I’m expecting and that’s the reason I’m scared. But how long I can postpone this.

In one way or other I had to find out what’s going on inside me and act according to it.

I grabbed her courage and went to the pharmacy. I bought the pregnancy kit with shivering hands and headed to the local restroom. I did the steps that were given in the manual and the result didn’t disappoint me.

I’m pregnant, with Damien’s child. Who else it could be? He’s the only person I’ve ever been with.

I walked to the dormitory and that’s when I got a call from my mother.

“Max, how are you doing?”

“I’m okay,” I said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Where are you?”

“I’m going to my room,”

“Have you eaten anything?”

“Yes,”

“Are the assignments hard? Why is your voice like that?”

“I’m fine, Mumma,” I said, “I have some work, I’ll call you later,”

I quickly ended the call. I don’t know what to do. This isn’t something I expect at all. I don’t know why this is even happening to me. I tried not to cry but this is inevitable.

The first thought I had was, I don’t want this child but abortion is quite scary to me and I don’t want to do it.

Confused and afraid, I struggled to make a decision. I wonder whether I would ruin my life altogether.

With no other option, I decided to ask someone’s help which is none other than my roommate, Kristen.

I came to the dormitory after finishing her classes.

“Hey, why did you skip the classes?” she asked as soon as she saw me and lay on her bed.

"I'm not feeling well,” Monica said and Kristen gave her a concerned look.

“Why? What happened?” she asks.

“I feel tired, nauseous and my stomach feels bloated,” I said, “Oh, yes. I haven’t got my period yet,”

Kristen sat up in complete surprise.

“Hey, are you pregnant?” she asks as a joke.

“Yes,”

“Oh my God! How did that happen?” she asks.

“I have no idea. I think the guy I slept with,”

“You slept with a guy? When?” Kristen cuts off the sentence. I haven’t told anyone about what happened that night.

“Yes,”

“Who’s that guy?”

“I met him at the night club and in that drunken state, I… slept with him,”

“Oh, you don’t know anything about him,”

“I don’t know anything,” I lied.

Kristen gave me a sympathetic nod. “Don’t worry, things like this happen,”

“What are you going to do now?” she asks.

“I don’t know. I can’t tell to my parents and I’m confused. That’s the reason I’m telling all of this to you,” she said.

“You trust me,”

“Yes, I do. Please give me some advice,”

“Let’s abort it and don’t tell anyone,” she said.

“I can’t do that,” I said.

“Why not?” she looked at me as if I was an idiot.

“You’re clearly unhappy. I guess you don’t have to ruin your career, your peace, your body, your youth, and your parents' faith in you. This child costs you all this. You shouldn’t disappoint yourself, and you’re too young for this,” Kristen said.

I thought that must be the important points to consider but not these stupid morals.

“Decide something that will help you have a wonderful life. Don’t complicate it any further,” she said.

“I’m not complicating. I just don’t feel like aborting is right,”

“Then what are you going to do? Keep the child?” she asks and I look at her having nothing to say.

“Are you out of your mind? God, Maxine! You’re such an idiot,” she said.

“I don’t know what I should do,”

“I see,” Kristen raised one of her eyebrows. “I think you need some reality checks, why don’t you go and meet that guy? Tell him that you’re pregnant and see what his reaction is,” he said.

“Yes, I think that would be the best idea, thanks for suggesting,”

Kristen slapped her head.

“You’re dragging yourself into unnecessary problems, don’t you understand that?” she asks.

“I know. I’m well aware of everything but I don’t want to be cruel to myself. I know I’m not ready to have this child but I couldn’t have the heart to let go of this,” I said, “Besides, becoming a mother is one of my wishes and I think this child is meant for something. I don’t want to kill it and carry the guilt for the rest of my life,”

“Hey, this is your body and this is your choice. Don’t think that you’re going to kill a person. Are you still in the biblical time? There are a lot of women who abort their children for personal reasons. It’s a choice and I want to make up your mind before you hold any sort of memories with this child,” Kristen said.

I just listen to it looking down.

“Having this child won’t make you a saint,”

“You’re right. I’m a religious person. But the context of aborting a child isn’t committing a sin but not choosing violence against an innocent,” I said, “I wouldn’t say abortion is a great sin and no one should do that. Of course, everyone has a different perspective on it and mine is this,”

“When you’ve already decided why are you asking me? Do whatever goes in your mind,” Kristen said and went back to bed.

“Kristen, will you accompany me tomorrow?” I ask.

“Where?”

“To meet that guy,”

Kristen stared at me in surprise.

“You’re insane. I never know this side of you,” she chuckled.

“Please, I’m serious,”

“Yes, I can see that. I’ll take you to wherever you ask me,” she agreed.

I nodded with a smile. I’m quite irrational but I think this is the right thing. I shouldn’t feel hesitant to do what my heart says.