4

Maxine’s POV

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone,” Kristen apologized.

“That’s okay,” I said while cleaning out my stuff. She finally apologized when I suggested changing rooms. I don’t like to be around with someone too selfish. I’m too weak at handling people who have no compassion at all.

But if I think deeply about that, I’m too immature to expect so much from others.

“Don’t leave this room, I want you to be here,” she said.

“I think we are both uncomfortable to be around each other. Don’t you think?”

“It’s all after I left you alone at the party and I’m sorry I should’ve apologized earlier,”

Yes, this is too late as it’s been a week since that incident happened.

“That’s okay. Don’t make me feel guiltier,” she said.

“Then don’t move, please,” Kristen said.

I looked at her expression, begging me to stay.

“Please, please, please, Max,” she requested.

“Fine, I won’t move out,” I said but when I get the perfect chance, I’ll be moving out.

“That’s wonderful. I love you so much, Max. You know you’re a wonderful roommate,” she said.

“Don’t flatter me,”

“Yes, you are, and don’t leave me,” Kristen left and I huffed. She’s peculiar. It would be too harsh if I leave after she requested this much. So I decided to stay.

After that fateful night I came back to the dormitory. She didn’t ask me how I got back and what happened. She pretends like she didn’t know anything, besides Kristen is such a messy person and she brings guys when no one is around. She convinced me to go to the pub and left me when she should’ve stayed by my side.

I think Kristen is a bad influence. I shouldn’t blame someone else for my choices, but she brought those choices. If Kristen had stayed with me, I wouldn’t have never gone to his apartment and ended up breaking my heart.

It’s been a month since that incident happened, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Wherever I go and whatever I do, that guy’s face kept back at me.

The way he kissed me and loved me even just for a few minutes is lingering in my heart and in my mind.

Yes, my heart races every time I think about him.

Am I in love? I wondered but I’ve no idea. I shouldn’t fall in love with someone like him. Maybe it’s just a mere attraction and it goes away over time, I convinced myself whenever I feel the overwhelming urge to go and see him. It would mean that I have no self-respect if I have any sort of feelings for him. He’s just a strange with a name, Thomas. Probably it must be not his real name.

He didn’t leave his number or ask her number, which explains everything. He doesn’t have any sort of connection with me. That must be a one-time thing, and he doesn’t want to see her.

It hurts a little, but I know this is how things will end up and I will be in this situation like this. In life, I never faced a situation like this and it’s quite hard to wrap my head around this.

But I didn’t expect her heart would crave more. Seriously who’s that guy?

I just know him for a night. He came, he slept with me and just left without saying anything.

I may not be the first person in his life but wouldn’t be the last. Better I must stop thinking about that guy and just move on with my life.

I looked myself in the mirror wondering what was going on with me.

Maybe I’m acting far more different compared to the people my age. They date multiple guys, go to parties, and cheat their partners.

I just slept with a guy, that’s it. I don’t want to turn that into a big fuss but what really worries me is why I’m not forgetting it. I wish to go and see him but I can’t do that.

I don’t like to be needy and I’m not much interested in him. It’s true that people say good girls get attracted to bad boys.

Even if I’m going to meet him again, how can I be with someone like him? He’s dangerous and his line of work is shady. I don’t know anything entirely but at the surface, I can say that he’s not the kind of person I must deal with. There’s no way he’s going to be any good to me and it’s better if I don’t meet him again.

I suppressed my thoughts about him for a couple of days and then I started searching for him on the Internet. I have to know that guy, suppressing makes it harder to get over it.

There are tons of Thomas and tons of people like him. But the one article caught my attention when I searched about the nightclub I went to.

There are a lot of crimes happening around that area and a local crime lord named, Damien Ledger is responsible for it. He’s on the FIB’s most-wanted list.

I searched for the name hoping that would be some middle-aged guy and the face that popped on the screen, made me yelp. It was that man I slept with, it was Thomas and he lied to me about almost everything.

There’s a lot of criminal cases and drug charges were on him. How come I chose a man like him to be my first time? Have I lost my mind? Yes, indeed.

But at the same time, he doesn’t look that dangerous. He wasn’t harmful to me. His smile still had a little bit of innocence and so did his eyes.

Perhaps I’m too poor at predicting people.

Thomas’s background scared the shit out of me and I didn’t sleep for the entire night, thinking how I narrowly escaped from him.

In God’s grace, I didn’t go back to see that guy. I should never step into that guy’s life. With relief, I passed the days and I no longer had his irresistible thoughts until one fine day…