Chapter Four: Colin

I have felt anxious all day. I don’t know why, but it just feels like a part of me is lost. I put the weights down and take a deep breath. I’ve been working out for hours now, but it’s not helping. The anxious feeling has been there since the invitation to Alpha John’s kids’ eighteenth birthday celebration came in. I’m Alpha of the Aurora Flame pack.

Onyx Moon has wanted to be officially associated with us for the last four years. Attacks on their lands have been increasing, and being involved with us would hopefully put a stop to it. I’m sure Alpha John is hoping that his son will meet his mate and that she’ll have ties to my pack. I’ve been Alpha for two years since I turned eighteen. I wanted to wait to take over until I met my mate, but my father was eager to retire. He said he wanted to spend more time with my mother. But I haven’t seen him do much of that. In fact, I almost never see them together unless they are on official pack business. I think he just hated the job. The constant bickering between she-wolves. The logistics of it. He was always a fighter, never a business type. I would rather solve petty debates than fight in a war.

As an Alpha, though, I’ll do whatever I have to for my pack.

“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Sammie exclaims as I walk in the door.

Sammie is an annoying she-wolf who loves to pretend we have something. She’s got long black hair, darker than my own. Her pale blue eyes disappear among her pale skin. She’s pretty, but she isn’t my mate.

“What do you want?”

“Geez, I just thought you could use some company. We could head to my room.”

“Sammie, this hasn’t worked once in the last year. Would you give it up already?”

“Oh, come on, if you would just try, I bet you’d find that we have something.”

“I don’t want to try. I want to wait for my mate. I’m never going to try with you, Sammie.”

I don’t want to hurt her, but I wish she’d get the picture. I don’t want to be with anyone other than my mate. I know my mate is out there, and she’s worth waiting for. I don’t wait for Sammie to reply. I quickly jog up the stairs and to my room, shutting the door before anyone else can bother me. I carry my plate to my red velvet couch. This isn’t the first time I’ve eaten alone to avoid desperate she-wolves. I really hoped it would be close to the last, though.

Some wolves in my pack don’t find their mates until they are nearly thirty. I shudder at the thought of being alone all that time. I just want to find the person who I’m supposed to share my life with. The woman who is going to strengthen me. The woman who is going to complete me. I finish my food. I still don’t feel like being around people, so I sit the plate outside my room and decide to hide out in my room for the rest of the evening.

Still feeling anxious, I decide a hot shower would be the best way to relax. I walk into my bathroom, and the marble tile is cold beneath my feet. I reach into the shower and turn the water to the hottest setting. Allowing it to warm up, I undress and catch myself in the mirror. I analyze my raven hair and deep hazel eyes. What if my mate doesn’t find me attractive?

I whiffle the thought from my head and step into the shower. Letting the hot water run over me relaxes my tense muscles. As I wash myself, I wonder what my mate will be like. I imagine a strong-willed woman who isn’t scared to be herself. She’ll be the most beautiful wolf. She’ll be mine. The thought causes me to harden, and I stroke myself, thinking of her, imagining how amazing her touch will feel. She’ll make me feel less alone. I release at that thought. I just want someone to love. I finish my shower. My member is still hard, and I know it will take a while for it to relax. It craves something that I can’t give it, my mate's touch.

Drying off, I pull on some sleep shorts up just enough to cover the goods but low enough to show off my V-shaped muscles. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I’m going to find my mate sleeping in my room. I climb into bed and lay down. I stare at the ceiling, waiting for sleep, when I feel a pain in my chest.

Mate. Our mate is hurt. Dom screams in my head.

What? Like dead?

No. She’s in pain. Her heart is broken. Someone hurt our mate.

That revelation pisses me off. How dare someone hurt our mate? How dare our mate give someone the power to hurt her? I send calming energy out, hoping it will reach her. She has to be close to me for me to feel the pain. The pain slowly subsides, and I’d like to think that has something to do with me. The anger remains as sleep carries me off to dream of my mate wherever she is.