chapter 20

Months had passed, and it felt like Payton was finally beginning to heal. I was relieved, yet every time I thought of Mia—our baby—the guilt still clawed at me. I had to stay strong for both of us.

That Monday morning, I was in the living room on a business call with investors.

“Mr. Pascal, I’m truly sorry I had to send my assistant. Trust me, he’s the best we have right now. My wife and I are still recovering from the loss of our child.

“but we’d really like you to be part of this project.” Pascal insisted

“I know my sincere apologies—this is only temporary.”

“Alright, I’ll speak to the others on your behalf,” he replied.

“Thank you, Mr. Pascal. Take care.”

I hung up, exhaling heavily. The stress was crushing me—endless calls, meetings, and pressure—but I refused to leave Payton’s side.

I headed toward the bathroom and smiled the moment I saw her. She was soaking in the tub, taking her morning bath. Without a second thought, I stripped out of my pajamas and peeked through the door.

God, she was beautiful—water glistening on her skin as she slowly washed herself. When our eyes met, she smiled softly.

“Come in,” she said, gesturing with her hand.

I stepped inside and slid into the large tub behind her. She leaned back, resting against my chest, her head nestled in the crook of my neck. Our bodies touched, warm and wet.

“Why were you yelling earlier?” she asked gently.

“Oh, baby, it was just business.”

“What about it?” She took both my hands and wrapped them around her waist.

I swallowed hard. My cock was already rock hard—I hadn’t been inside my wife in months, and it was driving me insane. But today… she finally seemed ready.

“Just some investors. They want me at a meeting.”

“Really?”

“Yes, baby.”

“Would you have to fly out?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry—I already sent Greg. He’s representing me.” As I spoke, I slowly rubbed her breasts. She placed her hands over mine, letting out a soft “Mmm…”

I kissed her neck, then her cheek, exploring every inch of her upper body with my lips and fingers. She turned in my arms and gave me a deep, sweet kiss. Her hands rested on my chest as I held her waist. She shifted, grinding gently against my hard cock. I groaned into her shoulder, lost in her.

Then suddenly, she froze. Like a switch flipped in her mind.

She stood up quickly, water cascading down her body, and started to step out of the tub.

I grabbed her wrist instantly, still throbbing with need.

“Where are you going, hun?”

“To clean up.”

“Baby… are you done already?”

“Yes, dear. I don’t want to catch a cold,”

she said softly, slipping away.

I sat there, rock hard and aching, staring at the empty space she left behind. I’d been waiting for a moment like this for so long—when she’d finally want me again. And now…

Fuck. I was going crazy.

That night, I left the house and headed to a bar for a few drinks. I was frustrated and desperate to forget how badly I craved my wife. It felt like she didn’t want me at all. I knew she was still grieving, but I’m a man—I have needs. Being around her every single day without being able to touch her was slowly driving me insane.

I drank just enough to take the edge off, making sure I didn’t get drunk.

My mind kept drifting back to how everything fell apart. If it weren’t for me, Mia would still be alive. It’s all my fault. I deserve every bit of punishment Peyton is giving me.

After a while, I returned home. I opened the door to find the house completely dark. I flipped on the light and saw Peyton curled up on the sofa, crying softly.

I rushed to her side immediately.

“Peyton, baby, what’s wrong? Why are you awake?”

“Where did you go?” she asked through her tears. “You left and didn’t tell me where you were going. Why?”

“I’m so sorry, baby. You were asleep—I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Did you go drinking?” she asked, her voice small and shaky.

“Not really… I just met some friends, and we had a couple of drinks,” I said, trying to downplay it.

“Don’t you ever leave me like that again,” she whispered, wiping her running nose.

I stood up and sat beside her. “I’ll never do that again,” I promised, pulling her into a tight hug.

She lifted her head to look at me. I gently wiped her tears with my thumbs, then leaned in and kissed her beautiful lips. She kissed me back, clutching my shirt tightly. The kiss deepened as my hand slid from her face down to her breasts.

“Hmm, Richard… you smell like alcohol,” she murmured against my mouth.

“Y-yeah… just a little,” I chuckled softly.

“You should go take a bath,” she said, standing up. Then, with a slow, seductive smile, she added, “I’ll be in the bedroom.”

My God—that smile.

I followed her, scooped her into my arms, and carried her to the bedroom. I lowered her gently onto the bed and kissed her deeply again.

“Stay still. Don’t move. I’ll be right back,” I told her.

She smiled up at me as I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, then hurried to the bathroom.

After a quick shower, I returned to the room and found Payton already asleep.

Disappointment hit me again. Not tonight, I thought.

I slipped on my boxers and eased into bed beside her, trying to get myself to sleep. But I couldn’t. Every part of me was wide awake.

I reached out, brushing her arm, then drew closer until my body pressed against hers. My cock hardened as I rubbed slowly against the thin fabric of her lingerie. I kissed the warm curve of her neck, my hand gliding over her thigh, then higher.

She stirred and turned to face me. I captured her lips instantly—urgent, hungry. My hands roamed everywhere: her stomach, her ribs, her breasts. I was losing control. I trailed kisses down her neck, across her cheek, then took one nipple into my mouth, sucking firmly while my palm cradled the soft weight of her breast.

“Oh, Payton,” I whispered against her skin as my fingers finally found her clit.

She gasped, arching slightly, then turned fully toward me. Her mouth crashed into mine in a deep, desperate kiss. Her hand wrapped around my cock, stroking with purpose.

Fuck. I needed to be inside her.

My fingers slid lower, slipping inside her warmth. Her eyes flew open.

“What are you doing, Richard?” Her palms pressed flat against my chest, creating sudden distance.

“Baby… what’s wrong?”

“We can’t just… replace Mia like that.”

“No—no—no—” she whispered frantically.

Before I could respond, she was out of the bed. The door clicked shut behind her.

I collapsed back onto the mattress, not angry—just exhausted.

All I’d wanted tonight was to feel close to my wife again.

And here we were. Again.

I lay staring at the ceiling for a long time, my mind tangled in too many thoughts, until sleep finally pulled me under.

When I opened my eyes again, Payton was beside me.

“Hi, hun,” she said softly, her fingers brushing across my cheek.

“Payton… I need you,” I whispered.

“I’m right here.”

The words barely left her mouth before I pulled her into my arms. I kissed her endlessly, desperately, pressing my body closer until I was on top of her.

“Baby, please… let me,” I murmured against her ear, my voice thick with longing.

But then I heard it—soft, broken cries.

I turned my head and froze.

There, behind Payton, was Mia. Tears streamed down her small face as she looked up at me, heartbroken. Laying beside her mom.

Shock slammed into me like ice water. My whole body went rigid.

Then my eyes snapped open.

It was just a dream.

Fear gripped my chest. Tears slipped down my cheeks before I could stop them.

Mia… she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready for me to be with my wife again. She had come into my sleep, into my dream, to remind me.

“I’m sorry, Mia,” I whispered into the dim room.

I stayed awake, eyes wide, staring at the blank expense above.

“I’m so sorry for everything. Please forgive your daddy.”

I remained there in the silence for a long time, quietly begging, pleading for her forgiveness.