The next morning
By my calculations, it took us about twenty minutes to drive to Cactus Front, the inpatient eating disorder clinic Francine was checking into. Liza took us, and she seemed very quiet. All of us were in fact. My girlfriend was staring out of the window at the Aztec style building as she took deep breaths. Her nervousness depressed me, and I wished I could take everything she was going through and bring it on to deal with myself. I couldn’t stand seeing the woman I loved in such distress.
“Lyubimyy?” I touched Francine’s forearm with my fingertips, knowing how she loved being called my favorite. “Let’s walk inside. Ok? I’ll grab your bags. Touch nothing.” My girlfriend deflated in response and I had to get out of the car right then. I couldn’t bear to look anymore.
“Dude, are you ok?” I heard Liza ask softly as I slammed the door and went to the trunk. I in
Three months later“Did we remember everything?” Francine hastily asked over her shoulder as I ushered the two of us into the hotel room I rented for all of our friends to enjoy as a group. We made sure to get the largest variety, with two large king sized beds and a spacious kitchen area. Pride is tomorrow, and we all wanted to stay right by where the Parade was being held in downtown Phoenix. Since the room is in my name, Francine and I were the first ones to arrive. Olivia and Charlotte have yet to get off from work, Liza was up North visiting her mother and children and just got back into town, and Brody let us know she had been waiting for her girlfriend so they could get ready and come to the hotel together.“If not, we’ll go back out. Hurry detka, before the ice freezes my arms into useless popsicle sticks.” I’d been balancing two large bags of convenience store bought c
For once, we all seemed to sleep peacefully throughout the night. I don’t even remember going to bed, but I know it wasn’t until a handful of hours ago. Even still, nobody grumbled the next morning when my phone’s alarm went off at 6:30 A.M. I was the first to rise, and I placed my hand on Francine’s bare shoulder as I kissed the nape of her neck passionately to stir her.“It’s time to get up, detka.”“Mmmmm...” She curled into me for a moment, inhaling the sensuous mixture of our friend’s scents on my skin before sitting up to stretch. ”Okaaaaayyyy...”“Morning already?Shit.” Nicole bolted upright with a yawn, rubbing the sleep out of her bleary hazel eyes with an upturned palm. I blushed at the sight of her pierced nipples,
Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read “Our Blank Canvas.” ’s point of view, as she navigated through the difficulties of exploring her past as well as trying to move on in an entirely new Country. Additionally, I wanted to include the points of view of my supporting cast for various reasons. Each character has their own unique battle, and I felt it was necessary to allow them the chance to tell their story too. I began writing this novel after I completed “Our Young Funny Voices” June of 2019. I’ve completed it March of 2020. I’ve had an absolute blast writing it— but I’ve also cried and laughed along the way. I hope I’ve provided you with an enjoyable reading experience, despite the tough times my characters have endured. In the event you or someone you know is going through ANY mental illness/addiction/gender identity crisis ECT feel free to take a moment to read about each resource, and the character attached to
PrologueI hadn’t been to Church in many years. Not since I still lived at the Children’s home, and even then we only attended every so often since we had someone come pray with us locally. Staring up at the white and gold Cathedrial covered in snow, I only hesitated for a second before heading inside.I let my hand trace along the faded pews as I slowly walked to the front of the stage. The smell of old wood and spice sent chills down my spine, and it only got stronger the more I walked. Elegant paintings of Jesus surrounded me from every wall, but I focused on the one a mere few feet away as I knelt down. I studied his sad face with a slight frown, and allowed the emotions to come. I felt helpless, frustrated. Angry. Despite growing up as Christian Orthodox, that feeling of Religious peace has never touched me.I was flying back to Arizona tomorrow, and I didn’t even know if I’d have anything to go bac
The buzzing in my ears got louder and louder as I stared at Evgeniya’s message. There’s no memory, but she seems so familiar to me anyway.She should, she’s your....No. She doesn’t deserve the title. When has this woman ever been a mother to you? Maybe she held a bottle to your lips after changing your name on official birth documents, so dad couldn’t find you. Perhaps she put you in a clean pair of clothing right before dumping you at the children’s home...but anyone could’ve done those things. Surely she understands that doesn’t make her a mom?“Detka, do you want me to stay with you? I can call Joey and let him know I’ll be late.” Francine whispered into my ear, and I let my shoulders drop. Yes. I wanted her to remain here with me...but I needed to do this alone. Her life shouldn’t be disturbed anymore than it already has been. She’s held my hand ever sin
I hated to do it, but I pushed the guilt aside and called my dad to ask if we could Skype. Francine wouldn’t be home for several more hours, and I needed to talk to someone about what just happened. Everything I worked so hard to bury was coming for me, and I couldn’t handle the onslaught of emotions alone.He picked up after the third ring. “I’m not bothering you, am I?” I mumbled an apology. Since we have daylight now in Arizona, my father is experiencing nightfall in Russia. I hoped I didn’t wake him.“Nonsense, Vasilisa. Hearing from you is always a pleasure. Give me a few minutes and we’ll talk over video.” Dad didn’t sound sleepy, which made me wonder if I was pulling him away from his work. He wouldn’t tell me if I was anyway, that’s just the way he is.“Very well. I’ll wait.” I disconnected the line and went to pour myself my third cup of coffee. The spoon clicked a
I felt so tired after hanging up with my dad. Emotionally. Confusion clouded my judgement, and I made a solid decision not to think about it anymore until I had the chance to bring Francine up to speed on everything. Leaving my laptop in the room, I went to lay on the couch and wait for my girlfriend to call me during her first break. The second my head hit the decorative pillow, my eyes became heavy. I tried to fight it, but I got so comfortable.Maybe I’ll rest my eyes for just a minute....BUZZ! BUZZ!A strong vibrating sensation jolted me awake from where I’d been sleeping on the couch. The living room was almost pitch black, letting me know I’d been asleep for several hours. I felt my phone continue to buzz from somewhere underneath the heavy cushions and I blinked sleepily, slapping my hand at the surface and digging in the crevices until I found it.“Hello?” I answered without checkin
“I need some air. Wanna join me?” Francine traced a single finger along my thigh, and I clasped my hand around her tiny fingers with a reassuring smile.“No, detka. I’ll wait here for you.”“You’re sure?” She leaned in to kiss my cheek softly, and I took a moment to really appreciate the beautiful woman I’d fallen in love with almost two years ago. Francine could be impulsive and emotional. She cried during every sad movie ever and couldn’t always handle my blunt personality. We fought like crazy sometimes too, but I wouldn’t trade my life with her for anyone else.“Brody and Liza...they’re outside.” I hitched my chin toward the sliding glass door leading to Olivia and Charlotte’s patio, making Francine turn to look. “You’re really close to them. They need you. Go. I’ll be fine here.” I brought her fingers to my lips, and she nodded.“Yo