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Epilogue:
For once, we all seemed to sleep peacefully throughout the night. I don’t even remember going to bed, but I know it wasn’t until a handful of hours ago. Even still, nobody grumbled the next morning when my phone’s alarm went off at 6:30 A.M. I was the first to rise, and I placed my hand on Francine’s bare shoulder as I kissed the nape of her neck passionately to stir her.
“It’s time to get up, detka.”
“Mmmmm...” She curled into me for a moment, inhaling the sensuous mixture of our friend’s scents on my skin before sitting up to stretch. ”Okaaaaayyyy...”
“Morning already? Shit.” Nicole bolted upright with a yawn, rubbing the sleep out of her bleary hazel eyes with an upturned palm. I blushed at the sight of her pierced nipples,
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Our Blank Canvas A Word From The Author:
Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read “Our Blank Canvas.” ’s point of view, as she navigated through the difficulties of exploring her past as well as trying to move on in an entirely new Country. Additionally, I wanted to include the points of view of my supporting cast for various reasons. Each character has their own unique battle, and I felt it was necessary to allow them the chance to tell their story too. I began writing this novel after I completed “Our Young Funny Voices” June of 2019. I’ve completed it March of 2020. I’ve had an absolute blast writing it— but I’ve also cried and laughed along the way. I hope I’ve provided you with an enjoyable reading experience, despite the tough times my characters have endured. In the event you or someone you know is going through ANY mental illness/addiction/gender identity crisis ECT feel free to take a moment to read about each resource, and the character attached to
Our Blank Canvas Prologue/Chapter One:
PrologueI hadn’t been to Church in many years. Not since I still lived at the Children’s home, and even then we only attended every so often since we had someone come pray with us locally. Staring up at the white and gold Cathedrial covered in snow, I only hesitated for a second before heading inside.I let my hand trace along the faded pews as I slowly walked to the front of the stage. The smell of old wood and spice sent chills down my spine, and it only got stronger the more I walked. Elegant paintings of Jesus surrounded me from every wall, but I focused on the one a mere few feet away as I knelt down. I studied his sad face with a slight frown, and allowed the emotions to come. I felt helpless, frustrated. Angry. Despite growing up as Christian Orthodox, that feeling of Religious peace has never touched me.I was flying back to Arizona tomorrow, and I didn’t even know if I’d have anything to go bac
Our Blank Canvas Chapter Two:
The buzzing in my ears got louder and louder as I stared at Evgeniya’s message. There’s no memory, but she seems so familiar to me anyway.She should, she’s your....No. She doesn’t deserve the title. When has this woman ever been a mother to you? Maybe she held a bottle to your lips after changing your name on official birth documents, so dad couldn’t find you. Perhaps she put you in a clean pair of clothing right before dumping you at the children’s home...but anyone could’ve done those things. Surely she understands that doesn’t make her a mom?“Detka, do you want me to stay with you? I can call Joey and let him know I’ll be late.” Francine whispered into my ear, and I let my shoulders drop. Yes. I wanted her to remain here with me...but I needed to do this alone. Her life shouldn’t be disturbed anymore than it already has been. She’s held my hand ever sin
Our Blank Canvas Chapter Three:
I hated to do it, but I pushed the guilt aside and called my dad to ask if we could Skype. Francine wouldn’t be home for several more hours, and I needed to talk to someone about what just happened. Everything I worked so hard to bury was coming for me, and I couldn’t handle the onslaught of emotions alone.He picked up after the third ring. “I’m not bothering you, am I?” I mumbled an apology. Since we have daylight now in Arizona, my father is experiencing nightfall in Russia. I hoped I didn’t wake him.“Nonsense, Vasilisa. Hearing from you is always a pleasure. Give me a few minutes and we’ll talk over video.” Dad didn’t sound sleepy, which made me wonder if I was pulling him away from his work. He wouldn’t tell me if I was anyway, that’s just the way he is.“Very well. I’ll wait.” I disconnected the line and went to pour myself my third cup of coffee. The spoon clicked a
Our Blank Canvas Chapter Four:
I felt so tired after hanging up with my dad. Emotionally. Confusion clouded my judgement, and I made a solid decision not to think about it anymore until I had the chance to bring Francine up to speed on everything. Leaving my laptop in the room, I went to lay on the couch and wait for my girlfriend to call me during her first break. The second my head hit the decorative pillow, my eyes became heavy. I tried to fight it, but I got so comfortable.Maybe I’ll rest my eyes for just a minute....BUZZ! BUZZ!A strong vibrating sensation jolted me awake from where I’d been sleeping on the couch. The living room was almost pitch black, letting me know I’d been asleep for several hours. I felt my phone continue to buzz from somewhere underneath the heavy cushions and I blinked sleepily, slapping my hand at the surface and digging in the crevices until I found it.“Hello?” I answered without checkin
Our Blank Canvas Chapter Five:
“I need some air. Wanna join me?” Francine traced a single finger along my thigh, and I clasped my hand around her tiny fingers with a reassuring smile.“No, detka. I’ll wait here for you.”“You’re sure?” She leaned in to kiss my cheek softly, and I took a moment to really appreciate the beautiful woman I’d fallen in love with almost two years ago. Francine could be impulsive and emotional. She cried during every sad movie ever and couldn’t always handle my blunt personality. We fought like crazy sometimes too, but I wouldn’t trade my life with her for anyone else.“Brody and Liza...they’re outside.” I hitched my chin toward the sliding glass door leading to Olivia and Charlotte’s patio, making Francine turn to look. “You’re really close to them. They need you. Go. I’ll be fine here.” I brought her fingers to my lips, and she nodded.“Yo
Our Blank Canvas Chapter Six:
“Hey Russki. Can’t sleep?”Damn. I turned from where I’d been scavenging in my refrigerator to find Brody rubbing her eyes groggily. The white and grey baseball style shirt she wore rode up a little bit as she approached me in a state of mild confusion. I clutched my prize, a leftover baked potato from last night’s dinner in my hand, and closed the door softly. Once again, we were bathed in darkness.“I’m not tired. Smoke?” I brought my closed index and middle fingers to my lips to further illustrate the question. Brody nodded and stepped aside so I could lead us to the small back patio. I love hand signals. They help out so much.“Use mine.” Brody shoved a pack of Marlboro Red cigarettes into my free hand and flicked the patio light on. Francine can’t stand my smoking habit, and we’ve argued many times over it. I started young, at thirteen years old, and have never found th
Our Blank Canvas Chapter Seven:
Two weeks laterA couple of weeks passed us by faster than anything I’ve ever seen. Regaining entry into Russia was easier than I thought, and I purchased my ticket post haste. I began preparing myself for the questions any officials were bound to ask me. They’d see my Asylum Visa and probably figure out my business in the United States pretty fast. One thing I’ll always be grateful to my time on the streets is this; It taught me the ability to act tough even when I’m shaking on the inside. I’ve had to defend everything I owned and believed in my entire life, it was second nature to me at this point.“Detka, did you want to bring an extra pair of boots?” Francine was helping me pack, and we already filled two large suitcases with enough clothing to last a month at least. The thing is, I need options. Style is very important to me, I can’t wear the same thing twice during my trip. I’ve notic
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- Our Blank Canvas A Word From The Author:
- Our Blank Canvas Epilogue:
- Our Blank Canvas Chapter Forty:
- Our Blank Canvas Chapter Thirty-Nine:
- Our Blank Canvas Chapter Thirty-Eight:
- Our Blank Canvas Chapter Thirty-Seven:
- Our Blank Canvas Chapter Thirty-Six:
- Our Blank Canvas Chapter Thirty-Five:
- Our Blank Canvas Chapter Thirty-Four:
