Chapter 10 : No is My Answer

Jaxon

F*ck.

That's what was going through my head the moment Sara straddled me in the car.

Just f*ck.

There were no other words I could use for this situation, not when my mind was clouded with lust and my body able to feel nothing but Sara's—the way her hips slotted perfectly against mine, her weight against me as she pressed closer.

How I got achingly hard in my pants as she rutted against me like the vixon she was. It was the kiss that did me in though, snapping the last of my control and sanity as those soft lips pressed against my own.

I wasn't as patient as I made myself out to be, no. I was a greedy man who wouldn't settle for anything but more. There was a reason I had managed to climb to my position in the underworld. I had been ravenous, unrelenting, and that moment wasn't any different.

The moment Sara kissed me was all the permission I needed, and my hands rose from her hips, tangling in her hair as I forced her kiss deeper, to make her go at my pace.

It was cute how she tried to keep up as I slipped my tongue into her mouth, and she rutted against me almost needily. I groaned, not wasting any time popping the buttons along her blouse.

Sara pulled away from the kiss, gasping for breath, lips red and shiny with saliva, still the hottest thing I had ever seen.

I got to work on her belt.

I didn't just want her. I needed her desperately, and she felt so good rubbing against me like this. I had been dreaming about having her just like this for ages—and now she was mine.

"Jaxon...." My name from her lips almost sounded obscene, and I slid her shirt from her shoulders, drinking in the sight of her.

Her breasts were covered by a white lacy bra that was just begging to be removed, a sheen of sweat glimmering as she gasped for breath from our rough make-out session, belt halfway undone and I… froze.

Haa…

Lust pounding in my veins, rock hard in my pants, and nothing but Sara in my sights, actually in my lap, gorgeous and tempting as always, finally where I wanted her after all these years, and I stopped.

Conscience? F*ck that. Morality? It'd been dead and gone for a while, but Sara had always been… different. There was just something about her that made her… that made her important to me.

She asked me what I got out of this—from owning her, whether it was sex. And the answer… it was far more simple and far more complicated than she could understand—than either of us could. Because I hadn't been thinking about any of this when I agreed with her father to buy her. All I was thinking was that she'd be with me… and I'd have her. She'd be safe.

Sara was mine.

And this, what was happening at that moment, I wanted it, probably even more than she did from the looks of it.

I wanted to do so many things to her. If I just let myself have this, I'd finish stripping her and get to see her naked and gorgeous, get her desperate for me.

I'd finger her open and make her come until she was begging for me, crying out my name, and then I'd take her, f*ck her right in this car until both of us were exhausted.

It was so tempting.... Sara was always tempting… but I wanted… I wanted her to WANT me. Only me. To not even look at or think about other guys, especially punks like Ben who thought they had a chance with her.

What I wanted was for Sara to be mine, and yeah, she was mine right now, but in all the wrong ways, in name only. She wasn't mine because she was treating this like a f*cking job, and she was a lot more than that.

Sara wanted her freedom, and I wasn't nice enough to just let her have it, to f*ck me and run. I wasn't just going to let her go that easily. Not when she was here, not when I finally had her.

She was MINE, and this wasn't going to be enough to make me let her go. I wouldn't let her think it, either.

"Get out."

It took a moment for the words to register for Sara, seeing as she was still a bit lost in the lust. But I watched her stiffen in my lap, blinking slowly, like she couldn't comprehend what I just said to her.

"What?"

"Get out," I said again, this time gesturing pointedly to the door. She needed to leave. Now.

"You—you can't be serious," she laughed, slowly getting angry. "You can't f*cking be serious right now Jaxon! What is wrong with you!"

"Sara, get out of the f*cking car."

"You don't have any right to treat me like this—what—your d*ck isn't hard enough so—"

"Out! NOW!" I growled, making her flinch before an eerily blank expression made its way onto her face.

"Is this a game to you, Jaxon?"

"Isn't that my question? Are you that desperate to get f*cked? I don't think I gave you permission for something like this," I said.

"You unbuttoned my top!"

"You kissed me first, and now I'm not in the mood. It's not very sexy of you to not take no for an answer."

The anger in Sara's eyes burned just a little bit brighter. I knew I was saying all the things that would p*ss her off, but if I didn't care. If one of us didn't stop right now, we'd go all the way, and I wouldn't be just stopping at one night.

Sara really should know better. I was in charge of the underworld; I didn't settle for anything, and I wasn't going to settle for having her once. I wanted her to really go into this understanding the fact that I WOULDN'T let her go if I had her.

I owned her, but she wasn't mine, not yet, and right then, she was making it really hard to not force her into it without her knowing.

"FINE. Fine, if that's what you want Jaxon. I'm going." Sara pushed open the door and slid off my lap, stepping out of the car, but before I could get out myself, she slammed the door in my face.

She leaned down close to the glass, her arm propping her against the car's frame, giving me a view of her full breasts pushing against her bra.

"But don't expect me to EVER give you permission to touch me again, because NO is now my answer, and it wouldn't be very sexy of you to not listen, now would it?" she sneered before walking away, back into the mansion, absolutely p*ssed at me.

I knew that sentence was going to come back to bite me in the *ss.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. It felt like the worst decision of my life to let her just walk away like this. I sat there for a moment before undoing my pants, giving myself a bit of relief.

If only she knew what she did to me, then maybe she'd understand why this wasn't a game, and I wasn't treating it like one.

I'd give her some time to calm down. Sara could be angry all she wanted; she couldn't stay mad forever.

We lived together now. There was nowhere for her to go and nothing for her to do but confront this, and I'd be waiting for when she did.

And once I knew where we truly stood with each other, what we wanted, I'd do everything in my power to make her love me—and I had a lot of f*cking power to make that happen.

***

Sara

I kicked open the door to my room before slamming it shut, shirt still unbuttoned, hair in disarray, and angry tears starting to fall down my face.

I locked the door and then I moved the dresser in front of it, followed by the vanity, piling books on top of it before I was satisfied.

Then, and only then, after frantically, angrily building a barrier for some privacy, did I finally strip and jump into the shower in my room's private bathroom, turning the water on freezing cold to the point my teeth were chattering, anything to kill the burning heat in my lower belly, but the rage and embarrassment weren't quick to fade, not like the arousal.

Jaxon had kissed me, and it had been amazing, and we'd been about to do more when he....

Did he take pleasure in embarrassing me like this? Treating me like I was just a toy he owned?

Well, f*ck him—just—f*ck him!

Why did I let myself think even for a moment that he'd been jealous or—or wanted me? Was I that stupid? I had certainly felt like he wanted me when I rubbed up against him, but maybe it was just lust—or—I don't know.

Lust alone would've been better than whatever the hell that was.

I forced myself out of the shower before I'd give myself a cold and miss tomorrow's shift. I was not taking ANY chances of not being able to get out of this d*mn place, not after that.

I was leaving puddles as I walked to the mirror, staring at myself and my puffy, bruised lips, gently touching them before scowling.

Whatever that was, had NOT been worth one kiss nor all the years of pining. I thought there'd been something there.

I was wrong.

There was no way I was going to try again either. And what? Embarrass myself again and be treated like sh*t? Oh, hell no. I couldn't even look at Jaxon right now.

In the past forty-eight hours, I had been on the worst, most taxing emotional roller coaster of my LIFE, and it still wasn't over as Jaxon continued to pull me this way in that.

He needed to tell me what he wanted out of me because I couldn't do this. I thought I could, but I couln't, not if he plays with my heart like this.

I needed to either get over him or have him because, no matter what, I was buying my freedom back whether he liked it or not.

I'd just like it if maybe I didn't lose him or cut all connections with him at the end of this.

It was stupid because even after all this, I still cared about him. He was still the sweet and handsome guy from my memories and not—not this underworld king.

I shouldn't care, but I did. Seems Dad did give me a nasty habit, though, maybe it would've been better if I gambled or drank like he did… because I kept giving too many chances to the men in my life who really shouldn't have even gotten a second one.