Chapter 9 : Heating Up the Car Ride Home

Sara

I knew my relationship with Jaxon had been inexplicably changed with our new roles in each other's lives, but this was ridiculous.

We were both just sitting in the car as Jaxon drove us back to his mansion, completely silent. There wasn't even music playing. The city's nightlife had toned down by then, and there were fewer cars out. Most of the bars were closing as well, making the streets practically dead. It was literally just us.

It was stressful. We used to be unable to stop talking, and even when my crush on him had become more intense and caused Jaxon to pull back, we had still been close, the stretches of silence companionable.

Right now, it felt more like they were in some sort of vicious standoff where bullets could go flying at any moment, not in a literal sense since Jaxon would never shoot me. At least, I didn't think so.

He certainly made me feel like he would at that moment, though. I hadn't seen him this p*ssed in a long time, and never at me.

Why was he mad at me?

"What are you doing, Jaxon?" I asked, breaking the silence. The question slipped out, but I couldn't take it back—wouldn't take it back. If Jaxon didn't kill me, the silence sure would have.

"What are you talking about?" he spat.

"Why did you come to pick me up?"

"What, I can't pick up my old friend's daughter from work?" he scoffed, grip tightening on the steering wheel, obviously lying.

"Oh, don't even try to act like that's what we are anymore. You don't even know what we are anymore," I sneered.

"Do you?" Jaxon spat, and I glowered at him.

"The mixed signals are making it hard to tell," I answered softly.

Jaxon clicked his tongue at my judgmental tone like I was some misbehaving dog, and it would've gone quiet again if I'd just let it die. For a few minutes I did, both of us stewing in the silence.

"Why?"

"D*mnit, Sara. Stop sounding like—like a kid!" Jaxon snapped.

"Oh, is that what I am now? I thought I was your new toy. My mistake," I said dryly

"You know that isn't what this is," he gritted out while I crossed my arms and looked away from him, biting my lip to keep from saying anything bitter and cruel.

Yeah, I knew that. It could be so much worse than this—whatever THIS was, but that didn't mean I was happy. That didn't mean I was okay.

Everything was so confusing, and Jaxon wouldn't give it to me straight. He couldn't tell me what the f*ck this was because he didn't know either. The only difference was that he could afford not to know. I couldn't.

In his position, he had EVERYTHING right now. In my position, I had nothing—hell, I was his. I needed to know where we stood if I was going to have a chance of being free.

"Then what is it, Jaxon? Because I sure as hell would like to know."

"I'm trying to protect you. That's it," he said plainly.

"That's it?" I asked in a disbelieving tone. That couldn't be it. Philanthropists doing things out of the goodness of their hearts did not have dealings with the mafia on the regular!

"Yes, God, what else do you want me to say, Sara?" he asked.

"I don't know. You still didn't have to pick me up."

"I felt like it," he shrugged casually. "Don't think too hard about it."

How the f*ck was I not supposed to think about it? That's all I'd been doing since I first had a crush on him. Though, admittedly, I was getting more signs from him now than when I was younger, but still.

"Alright then, fine," I said, giving up. "You picked me up because Ron was busy. That still doesn't change the fact that I could've walked."

"You're not allowed to do that. Or have you forgotten?" he said, giving me a pointed look. What was I to him? Five? He was p*ssing me off.

"No, you certainly remind me enough, so I won't. I would've been fine though," I insisted.

"Oh, yeah," he scoffed. "Sure. You know I don't like it when you walk home."

"Deal with it."

"I don't have to anymore," he stated, his volume raised slightly.

"Urgh! You are—insufferable right now!" I readjusted my arms and looked away from him.

"The sooner you accept your position, the sooner you can stop stressing about it."

"What I've accepted is that you're not like I remember," I countered.

"Well, I'm not surprised. Did you really think the head of the underworld would be sweet and NICE?" he asked firmly.

I stayed silent because the answer was yes, even though I knew it should've been no.

There was no way a man with such a lofty, dangerous position in the underworld would have clean, blood-free hands. Now that I knew who he really was, I figured that Jaxon hadn't gotten where he was because he was nice.

No, he probably did a lot of bad things, things no one but the underworld knew about, things not even Dad would have known about—which only spoke to how dangerous he probably was.

A person thinks they know someone....

And that was the problem. A part of me couldn't reconcile the two sides of him. To me, they were like separate entities, Jaxon Deverioux, the publisher, and Jaxon Deverioux, the underworld king. One was the man I knew and then… the person in that car with me was the one I was starting to know.

Which one was the real him, though? I couldn't tell.

"Don't waste your time then," I said. "I can always catch a ride. I'm sure Lauren's dad wouldn't mind. Hell, Ben could do it."

I don't know what the f*ck I'd done, but that one sentence was a land mine.

Jaxon slammed on the brakes, and I screeched, practically flying out of my seat if it wasn't for my seatbelt.

"Son of a b*tch! What the hell, Jaxon!?" I snapped, ready to give him a piece of my mind, only to freeze once I saw the look in his eyes.

Ah. It had been stupid of me to think that at any moment I had been talking to Jaxon Deverioux, the publisher and friend. In that persona, even when he was angry and exasperated, Jaxon would find my stubbornness amusing. No matter how mad he'd been, I had never once thought Jaxon would hurt me… get rough, strip away a few freedoms, but not hurt me.

The person sitting across from me right now could.

"Sara, you know D*MN well who I am. You're not stupid," he bit out, barely restraining his rage.

What did I do—I didn't know what I had done to upset him like that. I didn't know what Jason was going to do or what he meant by that, so I bit my tongue and didn't speak. I refused to cower but… but I could allow myself to be afraid, even if I didn't show it.

"I'm a powerful man. That means I have powerful enemies—and now I have you. What do you think happens if those people get their hands on you, hmm? You think you'll have a tea party?"

"Don't treat me like I'm incompetent, Jaxon," I said, taking a shuddering breath.

Jaxon sighed before putting the car in drive again. We weren't too far from the mansion, but it felt like it was hours away.

"Then stop dreaming. You think you can work hard and make enough money to buy your freedom, but it's not something you can make fast. Your father was tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I covered a lot of it. You don't even know how much he owed those other sons of bitches. No, you'll be with me for a LONG time, and that gives people plenty of time to hurt you to get to me."

"How much?" I asked.

He shook his head, not wanting to tell me.

"How much did I really cost you, Jaxon?" I demanded.

He swallowed hard and said, "'Bout a hundred grand." The car moved forward again.

My eyes bulged as I took that in. I found myself wondering if that was cheap or not. Was that how much my life was worth? It was something that felt like a fortune and chump change at the same time.

If I worked at Mabel's every day of the year without a day off, it would take years to pay that off. Jaxon wouldn't let me work that much though, and if he added interest and my living expenses, it would take about five years to pay that off.

How many years could I live in this situation… I could do it. I just had to believe that I could. I'd been dealing with Dad's crap for longer than that. I could… I could do it. I would do it.

Jaxon was right, though. Five years was a long time, and anything could happen when the underworld was involved.

"Should I expect you then? When Ron's busy?" I asked carefully as he pulled the car back into the mansion's driveway, swinging around to the garage where at least a dozen cars, shiny and pristine, were parked.

"No. If you're so adamant about having a semblance of freedom, then feel free to take one of my cars to work. They're equipped with tracking chips, so no matter where you drive to, I'll know."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked

"You're mine—" His eyes narrowed on me, penetrating through me, as he bit down on his bottom lip.

"No." I cut him off, unbuckling my seatbelt to turn to face him properly. He was driving me crazy, staring at me like that but trying to act like his eyes weren't undressing me.

"Why are you ACTING like this? This—hot and cold attitude where one moment you're angry and look ready to kill me, then the next you're almost soft on me. What the hell are you trying to do—what do you WANT Jaxon?"

Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself crawling over the gearshift, hearing Jaxon suck in a breath as I slid out of my seat and right into his lap, placing my hands on his shoulders and grinding forward before his hands flew out and caught my hips, something dark glistening in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" he gritted out, his grip tightening on my hips.

I shuddered, but I was in this deep… might as well drown at this point.

"Giving you what you wanted. What other reason would you have to buy me—because I'm not buying that this was out of the goodness of your heart. You're right, you're the leader of the underworld, so what do you get out of this… unless it really is me? Is that it?"

I didn't wait for him to reply. I didn't want to hear a reply, telling me some lie; I was tired and sore and p*ssed and worst of all, drawn to him like a moth to a bonfire.

He owned me, didn't he? Well the only reason guys 'owned' a girl was for something like this.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against Jaxon's, putting all my anger into it but also all the want I'd had for so many years.

My breath caught in my throat as I thought about what I had done. But by then, it was too late. I couldn't pull back.

Because Jaxon was kissing me back.

A hand tangled into my hair, forcing my head to tilt, deepening the kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth and making me moan, my cheeks flushing at the wanton sounds leaving my mouth.

Jaxon was popping the buttons on my blouse with one hand; the other was undoing my belt. For as nervous as I was, I couldn't help but feel excited, my heart about to beat out of my chest.

Yeah, I was f*cked.

Or I was about to be....

Finally.