The little changes

Rudela,

By the time I returned home, it was already past eight in the evening. Kyle was in the kitchen, cooking eggs and rice. When the door opened, he turned.

“Honey.” His voice was gentle, the familiar passionate one that could always make me feel feverish. “Are you alright? I have been calling you. Why didn’t you answer my call?”

I took off my shoes and placed them on the shoe rack before entering the kitchen. The scent of expensive perfume hit my nostrils.

“In the herb shop, we had an emergency. I had to go to the city to grab some herbs,” I said in a casual tone. I was surprised to hear my own voice. I did not sound like someone who was heartbroken and betrayed by the person she loved more than anyone.

“Really? Are you exhausted? I have already filled the tub with warm water. Take a shower. I am cooking something special.”

I glanced at the kitchen. There was beef, tomato, and potatoes. Behind them was steak-cut beef. The marbling of the meat said it all. It was expensive.

Was he feeling guilty?

Seeing me staring at the meat without showing any emotions, he hesitantly approached me. “Rudela, are you alright? Exhausted too much?”

He pulled me into his arms, squeezing me tightly. “Let me shower you with my scent. Your exhaustion will be gone within seconds.”

I did not resist or push him away. I let myself go in his arms. This chest, this pair of strong arms, used to be my safe zone. There were countless nights I cried in his arms, talked about life, the struggle, the hunger we felt.

These arms held me tightly when I had to face the humiliation under the Moon Oracle while he did not come because he was supposed to be in the interview room for a job, for a better future.

In the last four years, he never had any intention of saving me from hunger, from the pain, and from the humiliation. He intentionally let me stand there when people insulted me, calling me a pig and telling me that I did not deserve to have a mate. I thought I was accepting the insult for our future.

“What’s wrong with you today? Do you want me to help you take a bath?” He whispered, kissing my earlobe.

“No,” I said, pushing him a bit. “I am exhausted. Let me take a bath first.”

He observed my expression and something flickered behind those eyes. Then he smiled. “Sure.”

I walked past him. My coldness might have already given him what he was scared of. But I did not care. I was truly exhausted.

So the reason why my in-laws did not fight when they were asked to leave, the reason why my sister-in-law was eager to move to the boarding school, it was all because they were heading to live the luxurious life their son had been secretly providing.

I did not take a shower in the warm water. I filled the bathtub with cold water and drowned myself in it.

I wanted to cry as loudly as possible, but tears had never been free for me.

After taking the shower, I walked out. Kyle was already standing in the doorway, arms folded.

“I got a notification from the bank. Have you transferred the primary payer information to me?”

I nodded quietly. “Yes.”

He walked toward me. Something behind those eyes shone. I couldn't name it but I didn't like this feeling. " Why?"

" You have a job now!" I said, my voice cold,

He froze for a second before he smiled softly, " I know. But it's only entry level salary. Four thousand dollars every month. If I pay twelve hundred dollars per month, it will -"

" I can't do it anymore, Kyle. I think three years is enough. I am exhausted."

He stared at me for a few seconds, observing the exhaustion. Then he nodded his head and hugged me tightly,

“Good. It’s time for you to take some rest.” He pressed his lips and walked toward me. “ But did something happen? You are quiet today.”

I looked up, meeting his eyes. A smile played on my lips, bitter and cold. “Nothing. I just… I have been wondering when I will be able to open my own herb shop.”

His brows raised. “Herb shop?”

“Did you forget?” I asked, sitting at the dining table. “I wanted to open a shop six years ago. But I had to pay for everything in this family from my own pocket.”

He froze. “Rudela…”

“Recently I have been wondering if I can finally fulfill my dream of having my own herb shop since I have finally made you a corporate worker.”

I looked into his eyes and smiled as warmly as possible. “It’s time for you to fulfill my dream as you promised.”

Kyle stood there, silent for a significant moment before a gentle smile played on his face. “Of course, love. Whatever you want. You have been doing everything for our family. It’s time for us to do something for you.”

“That’s right. I can’t wait to have my own shop one day.”

“I know. But how about after having our first kid? We are no longer young. You are twenty-six and I am twenty-eight. It’s a bit—”

“I don’t want to have kids now,” I said firmly but in a gentle voice.

“What?”

“We don’t have the Pack’s marriage certificate. Our kids will not be acknowledged by people. Also, you have your family to handle. Your sister just had her wolf. She needs your help. We can have kids later.”

Kyle stared at me as though he could not understand what was happening. He could not place the change in this place. I used to be desperate for children. But today I rejected it directly.

Then, like always, he squeezed my hand and nodded his head. “As you wish. But… I just started working. And the debt is under my name. Can you wait for a while to open the shop?”

I nodded. “Don’t worry about it.”

He looked relieved. The dinner had an awkward silence. Kyle tried to start a conversation but could not understand what he should say first. Another time I would have been all over the place, talking about what happened today, what I wanted to cook tomorrow, how exhausting my day was.

But today, I did not even praise his cooking or ask him why he purchased such expensive meat. He kept placing the fork aside, kept drinking, but I never looked up at him.

Just as I was about to finish my dinner, my phone lit up.

Kyle was the first to check who called. Then he handed me the phone. “Your boss.”

“Warner?” My brows knitted tightly. “Why would he call me at this hour?”

I did not move from the dining table. “Boss. What’s wrong?”

“Rudela, can you stop by at my shop right now? It’s urgent.”

My eyes, out of habit, went to Kyle, who was staring at me. I stood up. “Yes. It will take ten minutes to walk. So—”

“It’s alright. Just come here.”

I hung up and grabbed the purse. My ears rung with anxiety.

“What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

I looked at him for a second. “An emergency. Must be a patient.”

“Should I walk you to the shop?”

“No,” I said calmly, leaving the house. Kyle stood behind me, still looking lost and puzzled. I would have readily agreed to have him walk me to the shop. I used to cherish the little time we used to have after working all day.