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Tasted Like Guilt

Author: MysticAmy
last update Last Updated: 2025-09-10 10:15:02
The pad felt too quiet when I let myself back in the next morning. My bag was still slung over my shoulder from Jessy’s, the faint smell of her coffee clinging to my clothes.

I told myself to be calm. Normal. I’d left because I needed space—nothing more, nothing less.

But the second I shut the door behind me, I knew normal wasn’t possible.

Joaquin was sitting on the couch, still in the same shirt he’d worn last night, sleeves rolled up, hair slightly mussed. His laptop was open on the coffee table, but the screen was black, untouched.

He hadn’t slept.

His eyes lifted the moment he heard me, relief flashing across his face so quickly it almost broke me. “You’re back.”

I swallowed hard, forcing a small smile. “Yeah. Sorry. I… I stayed at Jessy’s.”

“I know.” His voice was even, but low. “You texted. Still—” he exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck “—I couldn’t stop worrying.”

Guilt lodged deep in my chest, heavy and sour. He didn’t know where I’d really been before Jessy’s. Didn’t
MysticAmy

Sorry! I forgot to update yesterday despite the chapter already written in advance. Huhuhu... to make it up, I will post 2 chapters.

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  • Pen & Passion   Another Chapter

    The sunlight streamed through the wide windows, spilling golden across the hardwood floor and catching on the scattered papers, manuscripts, and empty coffee mugs that littered the kitchen table.I sat at the edge of it, one hand smoothing over the pages of Joaquin’s newest manuscript, the other resting instinctively on my growing belly. Around five months now, and already, the little one’s presence felt impossibly real.Joaquin leaned against the doorway, watching me with that half-smile I had come to love. “Editor mode,” he teased, pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear before dipping down to steal a kiss. His coffee warmed his hands as he pulled back, grin teasing.I laughed softly, shaking my head. “You do realize I’m grading your words now?”“Not all of them,” he murmured, eyes lingering a moment too long. “Some are just for me.”I felt a flutter of warmth, a quiet joy that had little to do with his words and everything to do with the life we were building. The ring on my fing

  • Pen & Passion   My Version

    Three weeks slipped by like a quiet dream.The world had calmed around me. I’d returned to my deadlines, my morning coffees, my nightly walks with Joaquin. There was no rush between us—no fear of losing or proving anything. We were simply living.And yet, every so often, I’d catch him watching me the way someone watches a sunrise they never thought they’d see again—quietly, reverently.He kept his promise. No grand gestures. No overstepping. Just presence.Until tonight.The launch of my second novel was the biggest event I’d ever been part of.The venue—one of those glass-walled hotels overlooking the Hudson—gleamed with light and soft music. The entire place shimmered like something out of one of my own stories.And it was Joaquin’s company that had made it happen.When I arrived, Jessy clutched my arm and whispered, “Try not to faint. You’re the main event.”Ethan laughed. “And Joaquin’s pacing like a proud stage dad in the back.”I rolled my eyes. “Please don’t exaggerate.”But whe

  • Pen & Passion   Slow, Steady, Quiet

    For a while, we didn’t move.The night wrapped around us, quiet and gentle, broken only by the faint lapping of water against the pier. I could still feel the echo of his kiss—not dizzying or wild, but steady. Certain.Joaquin didn’t step away completely. His forehead rested against mine, our breaths mingling in the space between.“I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that,” he whispered.“I didn’t think I’d ever mean it,” I replied.His quiet laugh came out more like a sigh, the kind that carried years of tension unraveling all at once. The air between us wasn’t heavy anymore. It was calm—a kind of peace I didn’t think either of us was capable of.“I’m not choosing you out of guilt,” I said softly. “Or because it’s easier. I’m choosing you because you make everything feel… real. Simple. Like I can breathe.”His eyes softened, searching mine as if to make sure I wasn’t lying. “I was terrified I’d never earn that again—your trust. After everything I did.”“You didn’t lose me,” I said qu

  • Pen & Passion   Real

    The morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, painting thin stripes of gold across my desk.Jessy was already gone, her absence marked only by a sticky note stuck to the coffee machine.You survived the dinner. Now tell me everything later.A doodled winky face followed, of course.I smiled to myself, peeling it off. Typical Jessy. Even her notes had personality.I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat by my desk, laptop open but untouched. My cursor blinked on the blank document like it was waiting for me to fill it with something profound.But my mind wasn’t on work.It kept circling back to last night. The restaurant’s dim glow, the sound of rain outside, the way Joaquin looked at me when he said, “It feels like a beginning.”No promises, no dramatics. Just that quiet honesty that lingered long after he drove away.I’d told myself for months that I didn’t want to choose, that I wasn’t ready. But maybe what I really meant was that I didn’t trust myself enough to believe I could c

  • Pen & Passion   I Think I'm Ready

    A week slipped by before I realized it.Between unpacking, catching up on work, and easing back into my writing routine, the noise in my head had finally settled. My days found rhythm again.Quiet mornings with coffee, afternoons buried in edits, and evenings spent with Jessy and Ethan, who had practically moved into my apartment these days.It was comfortable. Normal.Tonight, the three of us were gathered around my kitchen island, half-eating, half-working. Jessy was scrolling through social media while Ethan typed something furiously on his laptop, occasionally glancing up to answer her random questions.“Okay, explain this,” Jessy said suddenly, tapping her phone. “Why do people tag their exes in nostalgic posts? Like, do they want closure or a lawsuit?”Ethan groaned. “You can’t analyze every sad post on the internet.”“Sure I can. It’s free entertainment.”I laughed softly, pushing away my plate. “Maybe they’re trying to say what they can’t anymore.”Jessy looked at me knowingly.

  • Pen & Passion   Finally Okay

    By the time the plane landed at JFK, it was almost midnight.New York was wrapped in a thin fog, the kind that blurred the skyline into silver outlines against the dark. Through the oval window, I could see the wet shimmer of the tarmac reflecting the city lights—familiar and distant all at once.The moment I stepped out of the terminal, the chill hit me. Crisp, sharp, and clean. I’d forgotten how cold spring nights in New York could be.I pulled my coat tighter and wheeled my suitcase toward the exit, intending to grab a cab and get home before two. Jessy had texted earlier: Call me when you land. Don’t make me track your flight again.I smiled faintly. That sounded exactly like her.Just as I was reaching for my phone, it buzzed in my hand.From: Joaquin“I’m outside.”I blinked, staring at the screen. He wasn’t supposed to be here.Looking up, I scanned the glass doors leading to the pickup area and there he was, standing just beyond the automatic doors, dressed in black, hands in h

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