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Tasted Like Guilt

Author: MysticAmy
last update Last Updated: 2025-09-10 10:15:02
The pad felt too quiet when I let myself back in the next morning. My bag was still slung over my shoulder from Jessy’s, the faint smell of her coffee clinging to my clothes.

I told myself to be calm. Normal. I’d left because I needed space—nothing more, nothing less.

But the second I shut the door behind me, I knew normal wasn’t possible.

Joaquin was sitting on the couch, still in the same shirt he’d worn last night, sleeves rolled up, hair slightly mussed. His laptop was open on the coffee table, but the screen was black, untouched.

He hadn’t slept.

His eyes lifted the moment he heard me, relief flashing across his face so quickly it almost broke me. “You’re back.”

I swallowed hard, forcing a small smile. “Yeah. Sorry. I… I stayed at Jessy’s.”

“I know.” His voice was even, but low. “You texted. Still—” he exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck “—I couldn’t stop worrying.”

Guilt lodged deep in my chest, heavy and sour. He didn’t know where I’d really been before Jessy’s. Didn’t
MysticAmy

Sorry! I forgot to update yesterday despite the chapter already written in advance. Huhuhu... to make it up, I will post 2 chapters.

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  • Pen & Passion   Just Felt Ready

    The days leading up to my trip felt strangely peaceful—almost too peaceful.For the first time in a long while, my mornings didn’t start with frantic deadlines or emotional exhaustion. Just the quiet hum of life returning to something that almost felt normal.When I woke up that Friday, the scent of coffee drifted from the kitchen. Jessy was already there, hair tied in a messy bun, humming off-key to a pop song while flipping pancakes. Ethan sat at the counter with his laptop open, half-working, half-smiling every time she burned one.“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Jessy called without looking up. “We thought we’d let you rest before we start Operation Japan.”I rubbed my eyes, suppressing a yawn. “Operation Japan?”“Packing. Styling. Mental preparation. You know, the essentials,” she said, proudly sliding a slightly overcooked pancake onto a plate.Ethan looked up from his screen, smirking. “Translation: she’s been making lists since six a.m.”Jessy threw him a glare. “Some people take

  • Pen & Passion   Go Be Brilliant

    It had been a week since the invitation arrived, and still, every time I thought about it, my stomach fluttered like it didn’t know whether to be thrilled or terrified.After much convincing from Jessy and Ethan, I finally decided to see Joaquin in person to talk about it properly. It felt strange to be heading back to the mansion again—not as his pretend fiancée, not as the woman trying to hold her ground against his control, but as someone who had finally learned to stand beside him without losing herself.The guards at the gate greeted me with polite nods, and for once, I didn’t feel the familiar weight of nerves pressing on my chest. The afternoon light made everything seem softer—the tall columns, the marble floors, even the air inside the place that once suffocated me.When I reached his office, I found him by the window, sleeves rolled up, phone set aside, his attention immediately snapping to me the moment I entered. The corners of his lips lifted slightly.“You’re early,” he

  • Pen & Passion   Promise to Myself

    A week passed quietly, like the world had decided to give me a break.Days began with coffee and ended with pages. Revisions, notes, manuscripts. I was still working remotely as Joaquin’s editor, and though our exchanges stayed mostly professional, the tone between us had softened.He wasn’t the man who barked orders nonchalantly over the phone anymore. Sometimes, he even asked how I was sleeping. We even made small talk every now and then.Jessy teased me about it, of course. “Boss checking in on your bedtime? That’s suspicious,” she’d say, waving her fork at me.But I didn’t read too much into it. Maybe it was his way of keeping the peace. Maybe it was mine, too.Javier hadn’t called. Not once. And I hadn’t tried to reach him either. His number sat folded in the drawer, the paper worn from where my thumb brushed it whenever I opened it to take a pen.Some part of me wanted to call, just to hear his voice. The rest of me knew better.***It was Friday night when the three of us, Jessy

  • Pen & Passion   Unsent, Unseen

    By the time night came, home was quiet again.Jessy had fallen asleep early, curled up on the couch with her laptop still open beside her. The faint blue glow from the screen painted the room in a kind of melancholy calm.I sat at my desk, the same one where I’d written every chapter of my book, the same one Javier had teased me about being “too small for dreams that big.”The cinnamon rolls he brought earlier were still on the counter. I hadn’t touched them.My fingers hovered over the keyboard for a long time before I finally gave up and reached for pen and paper instead. I wasn’t planning to write another story tonight. I was just… trying to understand the one I was still living.***Dear Javier,You always said I used to write to make sense of things. Maybe that’s still true. You came today, and for the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel like a storm. You were calm, quieter, almost… at peace. It scared me more than your chaos ever did.I should’ve told you I was proud, too

  • Pen & Passion   Just Final

    The morning after the theme park felt softer than I expected.The rain had left everything washed clean, The windows streaked, the streets outside silver and quiet. Jessy had already gone out to run errands, leaving a note on the counter.“Breakfast’s in the fridge. Don’t overthink.”I smiled faintly at that, then poured myself coffee and sat by the window. The silence felt heavier than usual, filled with thoughts I hadn’t sorted through yet.Joaquin’s words from last night lingered like echoes.“I want to make it real.”They sat somewhere between comfort and confusion, and I didn’t know which one was winning.I was halfway through my second sip of coffee when the doorbell rang.I frowned. Jessy wasn’t supposed to be back yet. When I opened the door, my breath caught.“Hey,” Javier said quietly.He stood there with one hand in his pocket, the other holding a paper bag that smelled faintly of pastries. His usual sharpness was gone—no smirk, no teasing grin. Just tired eyes and a kind of

  • Pen & Passion   Real

    The park gates closed softly behind us, and for the first time in a long while, the night didn’t feel heavy. It felt like a deep breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.Joaquin walked beside me, hands in his pockets, head tilted toward the quiet sky. The faint sound of the city hummed in the distance. Traffic, laughter, life still moving beyond the fences of our little memory.“You know,” I said after a while, “I didn’t think you’d actually go through with renting the entire park.”He smiled faintly. “You always said you wanted to feel like the world stopped for a night.”“I was dramatic,” I said, nudging his shoulder.“You still are.”“Touché.”We both laughed softly, the sound blending with the breeze. For a few blissful moments, there was no tension, just two people walking home, pretending the past didn’t exist.Then, as the laughter faded, his voice turned quieter. “Do you ever think about what could’ve happened if we hadn’t fallen apart?”I hesitated. “Sometimes. But then I rem

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