Chapter 5

It’s late afternoon when I find myself sitting in my grandmother’s cozy living room again. Today is Carlos’ birthday and I’m sure he’ll be spending it with Lina. Where else will he spend it? definitely, not with me. 

"You've been coming here a lot lately," she says as she looks at me "Not that I don’t enjoy your company, but it’s unlike you. Has something happened?"

For a moment, I pause. Trust my grandma to always see through me.

I force a smile and shake my head. "Nothing’s happened, Grandma. I just miss being here with you."

I wonder if she notices I’m lying. I don’t tell her about the nausea that disturbs me due to the pregnancy or the fact that I’ve barely eaten since yesterday. I don’t tell her how the mere thought of being alone in that cold, empty house feels unbearable right now.

We settle into our game, and for a while, the world feels smaller, simpler—just me and her and a deck of cards. Being with her always makes me feel better.

"You’re terrible at this," she teases with a grin.

I laugh "I’m just letting you win. Don’t get used to it."

She chuckles, then leans back in her chair "Emily, you’ve got a tell. You always wrinkle your nose when you’re bluffing."

"Do not!" I protest, touching my nose which only makes her laugh harder.

We play another round. We laugh and talk as we play the game. For a brief, blissful moment, I can pretend everything is normal—that I’m not carrying secrets or heartache that could shatter everything.

When we’re done, she places the cards on the table and gives me a thoughtful look. "You should go home, Emily."

My stomach twists. "What? Why?"

"It’s Carlos’ birthday today, isn’t it?" she says "You should be with him"

Before I can say something, she stands and heads to the kitchen then returns with a small neatly wrapped package. "Give him this. It’s just a little something I made. You know I like to keep busy."

I stare at the gift. The sight of it makes my chest tighten.

"Grandma, I don’t think he’ll even be home," I say softly.

"Nonsense." She waves me off. "Even if he’s not there, it’s the thought that counts. And Emily…" Her expression softens as she places a hand on mine. "You look pale. Take care of yourself, okay? Whatever’s going on, don’t carry it all on your own. You can talk to me about it"

The lump in my throat swells. I nod, swallowing back tears. "I will. Thank you, Grandma."

As I step out of her house, the package feels heavier in my hands than it should.

My stomach twists, though I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy symptoms or the thought of facing Carlos after last night.

-

The moment I step through the front door, I’m caught off guard. Carlos is here.

I pause in the doorway, blinking as my eyes adjust to the darkness of the living room. He’s slouched on the couch with one arm dangling over the edge and the other clutching a half-empty glass of whiskey. His shirt is wrinkled, his tie undone, and his dark hair falls messily over his forehead. He doesn’t look up right away, but when he does, I’m hit by the intense look in his eyes.

Drunk. He’s drunk.

I close the door behind me softly but he still notices. His head lolls toward me, and a lazy, crooked smile spreads across his face.

“Emily,” he slurs, dragging out my name like it’s something precious “You’re home.”

“Carlos?” I’m too stunned to say more at first. He’s supposed to be with Lina. I assumed he’d be spending his birthday with the woman he loves.  Seeing him now, on the couch we once picked out together, in the house that still has too many memories throws me off balance.

I drop my bag by the door and approach cautiously. “What are you doing here? I thought you were out.”

He chuckles. “Out? Nah. Just… just here. Home sweet home.” He gestures grandly, nearly spilling his drink. “Where else would I be on my birthday?”

I look at him in disbelief. Why is Carlos acting like this? It’s not like him to be drunk and acting out of character.

I step closer, lowering myself to my knees in front of him. The smell of whiskey and cologne surrounds me, and I’m struck by how disheveled he looks. Carlos is always so put together, so composed, but now… he’s a mess.

“Carlos, you’re drunk.” I say.

“Maybe,” he says, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. “But you’re here now. That’s what matters, right?”

I reach for the glass in his hand. “You’ve had enough.”

He doesn’t resist when I take it from him. I set it on the coffee table. But when I try to stand, he grabs my wrist.

“Don’t go,” he says in a soft tone “Stay. Please.”

Something in his tone makes my chest ache. I sit back down. “Carlos, what’s going on?”

His eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I think I see something raw there. But then he moves, pulling me into an embrace so sudden I don’t have time to react. His arms wrap around me tightly as he buries his face in the crook of my neck.

“You smell so good,” he murmurs “I missed this.”

I shiver at our touch. His breath is hot against my skin and it sets my whole body alive. That’s the kind of effect Carlos has on me.

I freeze. “Carlos, stop.”

But he doesn’t. His lips find mine, and I’m too shocked to pull away. His kiss is desperate, hungry, and for a moment… I give in. I’ve wanted this, haven’t I? For so long, I’ve dreamed of him looking at me, touching me, wanting me. Maybe he’s finally realized… maybe he feels it too. Maybe he does love me and maybe this moment will prove it to him. The thought of it feels my heart with happiness and hope.

I kiss him back, melting into him as my hands tangle in his hair. It feels like everything I’ve ever wanted is within reach, and for a blissful moment, I let myself believe it.

I let myself tell him all the emotions I can’t say through the kiss – longing, love, desire. Our tongues roll together passionately. He tastes sweet. He tastes like everything I’ve ever wanted. It feels like all is right in the world again.

And then it happens.

“Lina,” he murmurs against my lips.

The name feels like a dagger in my heart.

I stiffen and my entire body goes cold. “What did you just say?”

He doesn’t respond. Instead, he leans in to kiss me again. But I shove him away with all the strength I can muster, sending him sprawling to the floor. He groans, sitting up with a dazed look.

“What the hell, Emily?” he snaps.

“What the hell?” I shriek “You just called me Lina! You kissed me and called me Lina!”

He blinks. My words sink in, and I see the moment it sobers him. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to.”

“But you did.” My voice cracks, and I hate how vulnerable I sound. “You did, Carlos. What’s wrong with you?”

He gets to his feet unsteadily, brushing off his pants “I should be asking you that question. Where have you been all day? It’s my birthday. Why weren’t you here with me?”

“We’re getting divorced, Carlos! And you didn’t even come home last night. Weren’t you supposed to be out celebrating your birthday with your love?”

He flinches “This isn’t about Lina and you know it?”

“Oh really?” I fold my arms and look at him “What is it about then?”

“It’s about us. We’re family and family should spend special days together. Like birthdays”

“Family?” I laugh bitterly. “Do you hear yourself Carlos? I don’t want to be your fucking family”

The words leave my lips before I can stop them.

He blinks in shock “What?”

“Answer this. Do families kiss and sleep together?”

His expression darkens and for a moment, I can see the anger in his eyes. “That time was an accident! I was drunk and I don’t want you to think I tool advantage of you. I’ve been making it up to you ever since.”

The words are like a slap in the face. I stumble back, blinking repeatedly. I feel stunned and heartbroken. That night was the best night of my life. It was magical. It was everything I had ever dreamed of. To him…..it was a mistake? He feels guilty about it?

“Making it up to me?” I whisper. “So, that’s all it was? Guilt?”

He opens his mouth to respond, but I don’t wait to hear it. The pain is too much. I feel like there’s a huge weight on my chest. My emotions are a mess to the point where my vision is blurred with tears and my head spins with everything. It’s all too much to process. Everything is happening all at once. My stomach turns violently, and before I know it, I’m running to the bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before I’m retching, tears streaming down my face.

Behind me, I hear Carlos’s footsteps.

“Emily?” His voice is laced with concern. “Are you okay?”

I wave him off, unable to face him. “Go away, Carlos.”

But he doesn’t. He stands in the doorway, watching me with a frown. “You’re sick. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“No!” I snap, turning to glare at him. “I’m fine. Just… leave me alone.”

He narrows his eyes “Emily, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I say quickly, too quickly. But the way he’s looking at me tells me he doesn’t believe it.

“You’re hiding something,” he says, stepping closer. “And I’m not leaving until I find out what it is.”

Panic grips me as I realize I can’t keep this secret much longer. But for now, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him from finding out the truth.

“I’m taking you to the hospital” Carlos says “And that’s final”