An Epic Fail

"Where is he?" I looked down at the clock on the wall.

Although my mother and Stacy were scheduled to come at any minute, the guy has yet to show up. I strolled into the kitchen to check on the pasta I was cooking, I grinned, and then shut the oven door as the cheese melted on top. Henry had called to ask if I could meet a potential client, and I'd been delayed in getting home, so the supper was a last-minute fix. I had no way of declining, of course. The only other fattening ingredients I could think of were whole milk rather than skim, three different types of cheese, and baking some garlic bread.

After tonight, try fitting in your frock, I thought menacingly as I silently thanked the cooking show from which I had gleaned the recipe for the wicked rendition of a delectable dish. As I lowered the oven mitts, there was a knock on the door.

He has to be here!

I halted as I skipped approached the door and fixed my favorite black evening gown with golden accents. My breasts and a lethal pair of stilettos were separated by a breathable material that was yet tight enough to draw attention to the gap. With one side of my neck exposed and my cleavage being highlighted, my hair was pulled back on one side by a golden clip. Besides the crimson lipstick that emphasized my pale complexion, I didn't wear any makeup. Although that wasn't how I usually behaved, I knew I had to make him aware of my whereabouts if I wanted to get away with it tonight.

When the door opened and I was getting ready to greet the man, I unexpectedly saw a face.

Ethan.

For what reason is he even here? My eyes widened at his much too gorgeous pose. Is he the escort?

He said with a seductive wink, "Woah, look at you all hot."

I mumbled as I observed his untamed appearance, "Please tell me you're not the Craigslist guy.” He was dressed in a pair of grey pants and a black v-neck t-shirt, and his hair was sticking out in several different places, perhaps as a result of the girl he had earlier gotten messy with. Nevertheless, the jerk was fully aware of how this gave off a distinctly enticing environment around him.

He explained, "No, I came over to ask if I could borrow your parking lot card because I forgot mine and my ride is downstairs.”

Before he could detect the intense color on my cheeks, I reacted, "Sure," and started to walk away. I dashed into my bedroom, rummaged through my purse, and pulled out the green striped card that unlocked the door to the parking lot of the apartment.

I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, shook my head at my idiotic reaction to seeing Ethan. It was not at all what I had asked for, but for a little second I thought he was the man Olivia had spoken to on Craigslist.

The man needed to be mature, free of piercings and tattoos, and correctly attired, according to Olivia's Craigslist ad. I continued by saying that "free spirits" or people who went out every night to party weren't the kind of guys I liked. In terms of maturity, grooming, and manners, this man had to be Ethan' complete opposite. The company was able to meet my needs despite taking longer than usual.

I took up my phone when it rang just as I was going to hand Ethan the parking lot pass. “Hello?” I uttered, as I turned on the loudspeaker.

“Hey, it's Jailsee539, the guy from Craigslist," he said. “Yes,” I responded, making it clear I can hear him. "I'm kind of in a situation right now, I can't go. I’m so sorry,” he ended the call so quick, I had no chance to express anger toward him or even to ask why.

I intentionally pushed past him and struck his shoulder, beyond words that he had seen what he done.

He said, laughing, "You hired an escort."

I took a defensive stance, saying, "Not an escort, just some dude off Craigslist." He continued to chuckle.

I replied, "It's a long story, and none of your business." I removed the chicken from the oven with the oven mitts on and left it to cool on the counter while I came up with a plan. The request for a meeting with a man who doesn't exist will be made by my mother and sister in a few minutes.

Can I possibly revoke?

When you ordered me to keep it down tonight, Ethan joked, "And I honestly thought you had a hot date planned."

I put my fists on my hips, narrowed my eyes, and said, "I'm having dinner with my mother and sister and I didn't want them to hear you robbing a virgin of her innocences."

He firmly stated, "I don't do virgins."

I scoffed and said, "How noble of you."

He retorted with a sly grin, "And hiring an escort is?"

I said, unable to come up with a clever retort, "Well...you're a whore."

He chuckled deep again, filling the empty apartment, sending me running behind the island, making my stomach knot uncomfortably. In particular, not in front of Ethan, I had to remind myself that Sophia McAdams is not a squirmer. I lifted my eyes to meet his and could not help but see his delighted expression.

I sternly told him, "Now leave," and pushed open the door for him.

"Why? Are you expecting another prostitute?” He snickered.

“You came here only for the card, right?” I stormed around the island to where he was smugly making light of the awkward situation, pushing my lips firmly together, and grabbed his arm, dragging him to the door, which would have been difficult if he hadn't been cooperating.

He loathed my exposed neck and said under his breath, "I've never had a female want to show me out the door," as I ripped open the door, trying not to shiver "Every experience has its first.”

I grabbed the doorknob and pulled it shut, but he managed to shove it open again. I stumbled backward and gave him my most stern look, but he didn't seem to be bothered by it, or at least showed no evidence. Is it not enough that he knows I tried to essentially hire an escort or that he made fun of me for having dinner with my mother and sister that this man just wouldn't leave? I have no guy to introduce them to, and they could arrive at any time.

I exploded in anger, "Don't you see I have enough problems to deal with, without having to deal with you!” Indifferent to the anger in my speech, he nodded his head coolly.

“But you haven’t given me the keycard,” he said.

I stomped, yes stomped, to the island while gritting my teeth, beyond indignant at the situation I had managed to get myself into. I was aware that the craigslist arrangement wouldn't work, but I disregarded my instinct and let Olivia to convince me to call before I had ever met the man. At the same moment, I'm both overawed and underwhelmed. both unimpressed and overwhelmed by my challenges and luck.

Because I became an atheist, God must really despise me.

Shaking my head at the awful situation I was currently in, I willed the tears to cease. As soon as the voice's too-loud pitch instructed me to turn around, I went for the keycard.

At the other side of the door, I overheard a voice, “I’m Stacy McAdams. Sophia's younger sister.”

Oh no.