Chapter - 4

Sanskar comes and sits beside Swara and tries to awake her. He hesitates to touch her without her consent but then reminds himself that he has done more to her. Most importantly he has taken her virginity, her modesty. Thinking all this, he closes his eyes and then shakes her a little. But she is still unconscious. So he takes the glass from side table and sprinkles some water on her face. And that brings Swara's consciousness back. She looks around and finds Sanskar before her. And then she gets how he has raped her last night. Thinking it only, her blood boils. And she quickly gets up by holding the duvet around her delicate frame. But doing hurry she gets pain in her female part and hisses a little. And Sanskar closes his eyes in guilt and shame. 

Swa( after sitting, shouts in rage ):- What are you doing till now? Haven't you quenched enough of your lust , the last night? I have respected you a lot but you are nowhere to get such respect. You are a beast who has snatched my dignity last night. I've thought to bring you in that room so that no one could get a view of your drunk state. But who knows that I've to loss mine. You are a fake person who acts like a gentleman before all but at the back of everyone you do such dirty things. (with one hand holding her duvet and with other holding his shirt's collar, shouts ) Tell me, Mr. Sanskar Maheswari, how more lives you have destroyed? One side, you are getting married and other side, you are forcing yourself upon a helpless girl. Is it your actual character? (starts crying ) You've just destroyed my life. Have you ever thought what would you do if your sister were in my place? No, because the anger visible on your face is enough to voice it. You can't imagine then think of my family. What would be their state to find me in this state? Don't worry I'm not going to tell anyone about it. You know why because I can't see disgust and sympathy for my family in other's eyes. I have decided to do job for my family's support and I can't buy disgrace in stead. You may think I'm weak enough but no I'll come before you daily to show I'm strong enough to move on but seeing me you'll think of your dirty deeds. And it will be your emotional punishment to see me daily before your eyes. And I'll make sure you couldn't destroy another girl's life. From now on I'll keep eye on you. 

Sanskar gulps his guilt and shame and thinks to voice out his thought to her before she thinks more pathetic about him. Seeing disgust in her eyes for him is making him weak from inside.

San(with lowering head and in slow voice) :- What I've done to you is beyond any forgiveness but then also I'm begging for it by joining my hands. Swara, I know you feel disgust to look towards me or to listen my words. But then also I'm asking for few minutes. I'll not ask more. (with a sigh) Actually I don't know how I have lost control over myself last night. I've just taken one shot which is not enough to make me uncontrolled. At last one bottle is needed to make me loss my senses. But then also, If you think that I'm making stories then I'm sorry. But please for a last time, believe me. I don't know why I have behaved like that. And I can't do this to any other girl then you are surely not the one whom I will think to give pain. (Swara looks at him being astonished.) Yes Swara, I admire you lot, may be more than that. I don't know what it is but I like you and there is special place for you in my heart. I have never felt special for anyone, not even Kavita, but you are different. And the last but most important one, you are the one whom I've given my virginity too. If I've taken yours then I've given myself to you too. So please don't say I'm a male whore like person. You could beat me, punch me or disrespect me but please don't say such words.

But I'm sorry that for me your whole life is destroyed. But then also I'll ask you like a selfish person to move on. If you want you can go to police or court, I'll accept my deed. But I can't marry you. You may ask the reason. So I'm telling you the reason. Actually my mother has promised to Kavita's parents and even she has announced before guests about our marriage. So I couldn't disrespect her wishes. For me her respect is my pride. (joining his both hands and bowing before her) I'm extremely sorry and I promise you to help you with every possible things. I assure you that you will always get privilege in my office. And without marrying you, I'm ready to give you anything.

Swa(with rage):- So you think me a slut that after satisfying your lust and taking my virginity, you're doing deal with me. Then listen, Mr. Sanskar Maheswari I'm not weak. But I'm the pillar of my family if I'm doing nothing against you then it's only for my family. If I disclose your these deeds to my maa, then she will die that instant by heart attack and we will be known as orphan. And to save my maa's life, I'm ready to gulp down the poison. So your dirty secret is safe with me but I'm not going to buy your lie once. So get lost from my sight. 

San(giving her the packet):- Oh, I've bought a dress for you as yesterday I've tore it....

Sanskar couldn't complete as he is guilty. 

Swa(taking the dress):- I'll give the money later but before that you leave from here. Just out!

Sanskar gulps his tears and goes away. Today he has everything but he has lost the belief of this girl who has captured his heart at their first meeting only. As he goes out, he breaks down into tears before the closed door. Here Swara too goes towards the wash room by limping and closes the door. Then she sits on the floor and starts to cry vigorously. After some time, she wipes her tears and stands before the mirror to find a totally devastated girl who has been forced very wildly. Seeing so many bites on her naked body and her swollen twins, she starts to cry again. But reminding herself about her family, she calms down. She couldn't get weak as without her, her family will be destroyed. Then she rubs the soap for few times against her body to swipe the touches and bites of HIS. Then she gets ready in the new dress and comes out. After taking her bag and phone, she goes out of the room and found Sanskar with red eyes as if he has cried a lot. Both look at each other for few seconds and Swara looks away to destroy their eye lock. Sanskar tries to speak but Swara goes away from there. It pains him a lot. Before he goes behind her, the manager of the room comes to him being surprised.

Manager (in a surprised tone):- Sir, you're here. Last night Miss Kavita has come here to search for you but we have told her that you have gone. I'm sorry sir. 

San(guilty to cheat on Kavita):- It's okay.

Saying this he goes away hurriedly but the manager gets stunned. Because for the first time, he has not punished someone for their mistake. Unknown to the manager, the boss himself is guilty this time. 

Swara reaches at her home and Sakshi gets stunned to see her in different dress.

Sak:- Swara, your dress ? What happened to that one?

Swa(gulping her saliva):- Maa, actually last night one waiter dumped some drink on my dress so sir has arranged this one.

Sak(in relief):- Thank God! I got afraid for once. Okay, now go and get ready.

Swara nods with a little smile so that her maa doesn't get any doubt on her. 

Other side, Sanskar too reaches at Maheswari Niwas when all are going to take their breakfast. All gets astonished seeing him there that time. But Sujata notices his devastated state and his red eyes. She can sense something must have happened. She remains silent as she herself will investigate about it. But the younger siblings of Sanskar start their investigation.

Sahil:- Brother, where have you been last night that now you are coming home?

Uttara:- Yes brother, tell us .

San(with a tight smile):- Actually I've had some important work so that's why.

Lakshya:- Brother, it's not right to be out all-night. You always do work without any rest.

Sanskar smiles a little to see his little siblings' love for him. And it makes him feel more guilty as he is not eligible for someone's respect. Swara has truly said. 

And after completing breakfast and getting fresh, he goes out for office while his younger siblings also go out. And now Sujata calls Sanskar's secretary to know about Sanskar's last night activity. But she gets no information in her hand. She gets disheartened at the fact. But she thinks if it's something serious then Sanskar could have told her but nothing might have happened like this. As Sanskar respects women a lot so if he would have done anything wrong, he would not be silent. She assures herself that may be it's something about his work. That is giving him stress. 

Here Sanskar reaches office to find Swara doing her work without any emotion. Her blank expression is  killing himself. He thinks to go away from here for some days as he is dying from inside. One side is his mother's pride while other side is Swara. He doesn't know why this girl affects him this much. He thinks it's better to be away from everything for few days. It will help his mind to clear his brain. So he informs his secretary to book his ticket for London for tomorrow and to tell his London's secretary to make ready his farm house there. As he will be there for two months . By telling this , he goes from there as today he is not getting any interest in business. His attention is always going towards HER. When he reaches home, all get surprised to see him early. 

Suj:- Sanskar, you are already home today. You never come home so early. Everything is okay, right?

San:- Actually mom, I've to go London tomorrow only. So that's why I'm early today.

Suj:- Okay, for how many days?

San:- It's for two  months.

Sahil:-Two months? But brother, you have never been away from us for so many days.

L:- Yes brother, why so many days this time?

San:- Look, it's nothing to worry. I've some meetings and business conference there and I'm getting some  complaints from my London's manager about that branch . So I've decided to be there for a long time to dissolve the issue. Even Sahil is here to see after our main branch. So I have made the decision.

Suj (gets happy that Sahil could manage the whole office without any order):- It's okay ,Sanskar. Then you must go.

Sanskar nods and goes from there. Next day , he boards for London's flight. Where as Swara reaches at office at exact time and Sanskar's secretary informs her what Sanskar has told . 

Secretary:- Miss Bose, Sir has gone to London for two months as he has some business there. So he has asked me to inform you that you have not to come to office for two months. But don't worry you'll get your salary without any delay. I'll inform you when Sir will reach India. So, excuse me.

Saying this, he goes away. While Swara smiles sadly thinking his actual reason of leaving. She knows he has left in fear of facing her. However , she leaves from there. She informs at her home what the secretary has told her. Sakshi gets happy at Sanskar's thoughtfulness. But Swara doesn't say anything. 

Like this days are passing. Swara is trying hard to forget the dark incident of her life. Where as Sanskar couldn't forget about Swara a little. Always she is there in his mind. He drinks a lot to forget her but nothing is helpful. He remains always in his room and it makes some doubt in his caretaker's mind. 

Miss Mary is an old lady whom Sanskar has kept in his London's farm house to help her financially. She has no one to look after so Sanskar sees her as his mother. She has been following his every actions from the day Sanskar has arrived. His chirpiness and youthfulness is absent instead pain and guilt is present on his face. He keeps him in door always. It increases her doubt so one day she asks him the reason. Sanskar couldn't control it more so he tells her everything. Listening him, the old lady gasps in horror and rebukes him a lot for leaving a helpless girl alone that day. She makes him realised that it's about a girl's respect so his mother's pride is nothing in front of her whole life. If he is worried for his own family then why he is being selfish not to think of her family. Even she advices him to tell his mother everything about this incident. Sanskar feels more guilty after realising his mistake. He quickly hugs Mary and cries a lot in her motherly embrace. When he gets somewhat calm, Mary asks something which shocks him.

Mary:- Sanskar, it's not only your guilt, there's lot more. Tell me the actual reason of coming here. Do you love her?

San(with a bowing head):- At first, I've come here to hide myself from her bare eyes and to clarify my emotions. And now it's clear. (with a genuine smile) Yes, I LOVE HER. I love her a lot from the core of my heart. And I feel more guilty and ashamed on me to leave my love alone there in stead of giving her my shoulder. But now I want to do everything right. I'll tell mom every truth so that I could rectify my mistake. I swear this time I'll not leave her for anything. If for that I've to bow my head before all, then also I'll not leave her side. (kissing her hands) Thanks, Mary. Thanks a lot for helping me . Now I've to go. I've to inform my secretary for booking my ticket. I don't know what Swara is thinking about myself. It's almost two months I've left her alone there.

Mary(lovingly):- Keep faith on God, He will never do wrong with His children. 

Sanskar nods with a smiling face and goes from there. And next day he boards for Mumbai. All are informed about his return to Mumbai. But no one gets doubt because it's two months today. So everyone takes it normally. Sanskar is smiling a lot sitting on the flight. But unknown to the fact, very soon something is going to happen to shake his all equations.