OUTSIDER'S GAZE

CHAPTER 12.

outsider's gaze.

I jolted back to reality, with my heart hammering against my ribs.

At this point, I felt like my heart was going to tear open.

Even though I tried to wave off what happened in the past, I couldn't possibly forget the dreams that I had last night. Basically, I could remember one name clearly, and it was Kaiden.

 As I remembered him, the fear of uncertainty continued to build up around me. I was so worried to the core. 

I tossed off my duvet aside, and I sat at the edge of my bed. At that moment, I really needed to think about my life.

 What was I even?

Why would I even dream of someone like him?

What did it signify?

At that moment, I needed fresh air.

The tightness of my abode was beginning to choke me.

Immediately, I grabbed my boots, wore my jacket, and immediately headed out. I even forgot to casually arrange my hair.

After all, who was even going to look at me? Phew!

The birds sang melodious hymns as I walked through the forest. This reminded me that there was hope for someone like me who was on the verge of giving up.

 Immediately, I breathed in, as I inhaled the earthly smell of the soil. In all frankness, this smell gave me hope that I'd be able to scale through the challenges that life had thrown at me.

 As I walked down the forest, I knew for sure that I really needed to be strong, to be able to measure up to everything that I was battling with.

But even each step I took reminded me of the worst nightmare that I was trying to forget. 

I am now a rejected lupine.

 Even though I was trying very hard to run away from the harsh reality that faced me, Thane's words kept echoing in my brain.

What’s wrong with me? I cried out in frustration.

Why is he able to easily manipulate me? Why is that?

I was so lost in thoughts, that I couldn't even notice the surrounding movement. However, my heart skipped immediately when I noticed it.

My heart dropped for a few seconds.

As I walked towards the tree, I noticed that everywhere was absolutely dark, and I couldn't see clearly.

However, the darkness couldn't obstruct me from seeing Kaiden from the shadows.

His features were just so mesmerizing to ignore. Immediately, his intimidating stare locked deep into my eyes.

We remained in that position for some seconds.

Immediately, I felt shivers run down my spine, but weirdly, they were connected to his supernatural aura.

It was a surreal moment, as I couldn't even predict what was going to come next. 

“Rory!" he called out to me with a firm voice. As he spoke, I could feel the intensity of his voice, knowing fully well that anything could happen. “You should be applauded for making it this far!”

Immediately I heard his voice. I froze in shock. However, I was able to pull myself together, as I stood like a brave queen.

At this moment, I realized that no one was coming to save me.

 What did he even mean by what he had said?

 Wait! Has he been stalking me?

This, and many more weird thoughts, kept going through my mind. “How long have you been out here? Huh?” I finally had to speak with so much concern.

"If you must know, long enough to appreciate your celestial beauty and positive aura,” he responded with a slight smile, that didn't go beyond his teeth.

“Oh! " Is that so?” I asked him with a suspicious gaze. “So, it means that you've been stalking me, isn't it?”

Immediately, he took a sudden step towards me, with a surge of confidence written on his face. “Well, I won't call it stalking." I admire your strength, and I think there's something about you that fascinates me."

Without thinking twice, I gave him a scornful look. "You don't know me!"

“You're right. The thing is, I've seen how you carefully handled everything that life threw at you with ease. You're strong, Rory!"

 Suddenly, he hardened the expression on his face. Without mincing words, I knew that it was really going to be a hard one, as we walked across the wilderness. “You've persevered from your adversities with so much grace, unlike most people in this world would."

Immediately he said those words, I felt butterflies in my belly. He ignited a strange fire that had been lacking in my soul.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't sound as easy as you make it sound,” I responded to him with a sigh. Truth be told, I wished I could have such faith.

“I know you feel like it's easier said than done,” he began, with a calm voice.

Suddenly, he walked closer to me, and looked directly into my eyes.

"Rory, you have to listen to me. It's not about how bad your past was, but it's about how you're going to rise up to the occasion. It's about how you're going to fight for your place in your community. You can do it, Rory. Yes, you can!"

Immediately, he said that, I could suddenly feel my vulnerability trying to overwhelm me. "What if I don't get it right? What if I make the wrong choice?" 

Just then, Kaiden looked deep into my eyes, and I felt a sudden surge of power within me. “Then you learn from it. " We all make mistakes, and what matters the most is how we get back up.”

At this point, I was already about to lose my mind. Subconsciously, I wanted to be as brave as he was, but another part of me just didn't trust him.

However, I swallowed a lump of saliva, as I tried to process what I had going on in my mind.

“Look..." You barely know me,” I said in a firm voice, as I tried to wave off the feeling of doubt in me. “How can you even say that about me?”

“Deep down, I know that you feel very hurt,” he responded with a firm voice that embodied kindness and empathy.

“You also feel ashamed about what you have experienced in the past."

No matter how hard I might try to pretend like everything was well with me, I just couldn't help but agree with what he had just said.

He was right. His words were empathetic, but they were also unbearable to me. I just couldn't handle all the rejection that I was facing at the moment. “Why do you suddenly care?” I asked with an unsure tone.

I didn't even know if I could trust him.

He paused for a while, as it was like he was looking for the perfect answer to give to me.

"Well, no one deserves to pass through what you're facing at the moment. Not when there are people who are willing to listen to you."

Even though he was serious, the matter still sounded like a joke to me. “Are you a knight or a security officer?" 

Kaiden smiled softly, while nodding his head. "I'm not a savior. From your story, I just know that you need help, and I'm willing to help."

As I took a step backwards, the weight of the entire conversation began to fall on me. In all honesty, I was trying very hard not to sound confused.

 “You don't really know anything about me, and there's nothing worth caring about."

Immediately I said that, he looked at me with a serious expression.

"It might interest you to know that you're worth more than you think you are. Listen to me Rory, it's not about how bad your past is, but it's about how good you choose to make your future be.

For the first time in a long while, I felt like I could truly break out of the self-doubt that I had inflicted on myself. I think I was beginning to see life from a beautiful perspective.

“Kaiden, who're you? " What is your story?" I finally found the confidence to ask him. I really wanted to know who this creature was. He was able to easily unravel the mysteries that surrounded me.

He hesitated and at that moment, something flickered from his eyes.

 “I am a wanderer. I have not been able to find what I've been searching for. However, I think there's something about you that connects your soul to mine."

“Wanderer?” I asked. “What are you up to?”

Without saying anything else, he let out a mischievous smile. "Maybe, both!" He laughed.

Soon, the temperature and tension of the forest shifted. It was like a creature was around us.

The bond we shared together seemed too heavy and tight.

What was happening?

What bond connected us?

What could it be?

“Do you think there could be anything between us?" I asked with a whisper, before realizing that I didn't even know when I spilled that.

Before he could respond to my question, a crow descended from above. It was the custodian of the forest.

At that moment, I felt the movement of black energy, and immediately, I turned around. I still couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then again, and turned around for the second time, and it was my nightmare, Thane.

His presence ruined the beautiful atmosphere that we had just created, and I didn't need to be told that he was obviously jealous.

“Kaiden, what are you doing here?” he growled at him, in a dangerous way.

Even though Kaiden seemed tensed, he still wore a calm look. “Well, as you can see, we're just discussing!"

“Stir clear from her.” Thane barked at her, with a very loud voice. 

The once calm atmosphere had now turned into something uncomfortable. I just couldn't breathe clearly, as I tried to help myself.

“Kaiden!" I called out to him, but the way Thane stared at me made me swallow my words. 

"Rory, don't you dare..." He mumbled with a sinister voice, causing Kaiden to back down.

What was going to happen at this moment?