Mag-log inHAYDEN’S POV:Weeks passed and somehow… everything got worse.At first, I told myself it was just a phase…..a rough patch with a couple of bad nights that would fade if I drowned them out hard enough.So I did exactly that.I drank more, smoked more, and partied so fucking hard.I did everything to keep my head loud enough so I wouldn’t have to hear his voice in it because that’s the real problem.It was not the kiss, the way he held me during sex, or the fight.It was Stephen himself. He was everywhere, even when he was not.The music in the club pounded so hard it felt like it was shaking my bones.Bodies press in from every direction, heat and sweat and flashing lights. Someone hands me another drink—I don’t even know who—and I take it without thinking.That’s how it’s been lately. I did not think. I just acted on impulse. Just… anything.A girl leans into me, laughing at something I didn’t say. Her hand slides up my chest, nails dragging lightly, her eyes already looking at me li
STEPHEN’S POV:I didn’t sleep, not even for a second.At first, it was just noise like muffled laughter, the creak of the door, the low murmur of voices drifting down the hallway. I’d rolled over in bed, pressing my face into the pillow, telling myself to ignore it.Hayden bringing a girl back wasn’t new.It shouldn’t have mattered but then the sounds changed.The laughter faded into something else. The kind of sounds you couldn’t mistake, no matter how hard you tried.My jaw tightened as I stared into the darkness of my room, every muscle in my body going rigid.No.I squeezed my eyes shut, dragging the blanket higher over my shoulder like it could block it out.It didn’t. It only got louder.A low groan, the creak of the couch. A breathless voice that wasn’t his and then his voice, rough and unrestrained in a way I’d never heard before.Something twisted hard in my chest.I turned onto my back, staring up at the ceiling now, my pulse pounding in my ears.This was normal. This was wh
HAYDEN’S POV:I didn’t recognize myself.That’s the first thought that keeps looping in my head, over and over again like a broken record I I'mcan’t shut off.I didn’t recognize myself.Because there is no version of me, none, that does what I did last night. My hands grip the edge of the sink as I stare at my reflection, jaw tight, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep. The room feels too small and quiet, like it’s closing in on me, pressing in from all sides.I kissed him. No. I did worse than that.“Fuck!” I mutter under my breath, dragging a hand down my face.This isn’t me.I straighten slowly, forcing myself to look at my reflection again, as if staring long enough, I’ll find something familiar staring back.“I’m straight,” I say under my breath. The words feel solid and grounding. “I’ve always been straight.”And that’s the truth. It has to be. There’s no confusion there or a gray area.So whatever the hell happened last night? It was a mistake.Just like I said.It was the fuckin
HAYDEN’S POVI didn’t wait.The second the words leave my mouth,what the hell did we do?—something inside me snaps into overdrive. Panic, sharp and suffocating, crawls up my throat before Stephen even has the chance to answer because I know exactly what we did and I can’t….I won’t….let it mean anything.I push off the bed so fast it makes my head spin. My pulse is hammering, my chest is tight, like the walls are closing in on me.This is wrong. This is so fucking wrong.“Don’t,” I say quickly, dragging a hand through my hair, pacing a few steps away from him like distance will fix this. Like it’ll undo it. “Don’t say anything.”Behind me, there’s a pause. I can feel his eyes on me, heavy and searching.“What?” Stephen’s voice is rough, confused. “Hayden….”“I said don’t.” My voice comes out sharper this time, harsher than I meant it to.I hear the shift immediately. The way his breathing changes and the way the confusion starts turning into something else.But I can’t stop now.If I
STEPHEN’S POV:I shouldn’t be enjoying this. I really, really shouldn’t be enjoying this.But as I stand across the room, watching Hayden stand there in the middle of the party with that same tight expression he gets when he is trying too hard to act like he doesn’t care… I can’t help it.I’m amused. No—more than that. I’m satisfied.Because for the first time since all of this started, since the tension and the fights and the bullshit excuses… I saw it.Clear as day. The jealousy.Hayden Cross was jealous of me.My lips twitch slightly at the thought, even as I take a slow sip of my drink, eyes still locked on him. He is not looking at me yet and he is too busy dealing with the aftermath of his little public breakup, the crowd still buzzing around him like sharks sensing blood.That was… something. I didn’t expect him to actually do it.Break up with Lilian, right there, in front of everyone.My chest tightens slightly at that, the amusement softening into something warmer, something
HAYDEN’S POV:For a second, neither of us moves.The air in the restroom feels too thick, like it’s pressing in on my lungs, making it harder to breathe. Stephen is still looking at me like he’s trying to solve something—like I’m a problem he doesn’t have the answer to.Maybe I am.“Say something,” he finally mutters, voice rough.I don’t because if I do, I might say the wrong thing or worse—the right one.His jaw tightens. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”He pushes off the wall, brushing past me toward the door.I won't stop him this time.The door swings shut behind him, and just like that, I’m alone again.The music hits me the second I step back into the party, it is loud and overwhelming, but it doesn’t drown anything out. If anything, it makes everything louder inside my head.I run a hand through my hair, exhaling sharply, trying to get a grip.That was a mistake.Everything about that was a mistake. Except… it didn’t feel like one.“Hayden!”I don’t even have to turn around to k
ELLA’S POVI shouldn’t have come here.The cheerleader field was loud with whistles and laughter, girls stretching, practicing lifts, pretending their lives were uncomplicated. The sun was too bright and my head was pounding. My mouth still tasted like regret.And there she was.Lilian stood near t
STEPHEN’S POVI didn’t go back to my hostel right away. I sat on the steps outside the arts building instead, elbows on my knees as I stared at space. My phone buzzed twice in my pocket. It was probably Hayden, or not, but I ignored it. My chest still felt badly injured from Ella’s words and the w
STEPHEN’S POVI didn’t remember deciding to leave.One second I was standing in the hallway, Hayden’s door still vibrating from where it had slammed shut, my chest tight and buzzing like I’d swallowed broken glass. The next, I was outside, the night air hitting my face like a slap.I deserved worse
HAYDEN’S POVI regretted coming back the second I opened the door.Stephen was in the living room, kissing some guy like he owned the place. Hands on his waist, his lips curved into a smile like nothing in the world had ever touched him wrong.I felt my stomach twist.I turned away immediately. “F







