FORTY-FIVE

ELLEN

"Uh— I have had my first share of love," I said and cleared my throat. I have to make him trust me, so I will tell him part of the story and toss in a lie or two. He knows about two years of my life missing from the records, so I had to put his mind away from there.

"I met my first boyfriend, Derek, in my first year in college. He was handsome, sweet, funny, charming, wealthy, everything a girl could ask for. I was in dire need to love and be loved so I fell head over heels for him. Long story short, he turned the beast on me after a year and I barely escaped with my life. So, I had to clear everything about our relationship for two years. I left that town and transferred to NYU.

"I do not like revisiting the memories, they are too traumatic for me. I cleared those years from my records because I did not want anything to associate Derek and me." Tears were strolling down my cheeks now because I remembered all that Tony did to me.

"Is he the father of your