Rachel
"Ahhh," I groaned, adjusting my eyes to light.
God, my head hurts so badly.
I massaged my temples with my hand, hoping to get some relief, and turned my head to the side of the bed, only to come face to face with Jayce.
Wait, now I remember I was drunk yesterday, and had a fight with Jayce, after that he carried me in his car. Then, what happened next I don't remember, and how I ended up coming into Jayce's house and in his bed.
I checked my clothes quickly, but nothing seems unusual. I'm still wearing the same clothes that I wore yesterday. Jayce seems to wear PJs and a t-shirt which seems odd. He is a naked sleeper and doesn't like clothes in bed.
So, nothing happened last night, so why am I here? Wait, I confessed my feelings while drunk to Jayce.
Shit, Shit shitt….. what've I done. I don't want a relationship. Commitments make things worse, and who knows that better than I do?
I have seen my mother, who was not once happy with my dad and yet never divorced and I've faced it myself too in the past.
Shit drunk Rachel you made quite a mess for sane Rachel.
Good thing Jayce is still asleep, maybe if I'm lucky, I can sneak out and never look back.
Yeah, I can go to my old house, no one here knows the old address and no one can find me there, not even Jayce.
Move Rachel, I signed, staring the last glance at the sleeping and handsome face of Jayce.
This is the last time I can see him, I don't want that image of him to ever fade from my mind.
"I'm sorry," I said, silently leaving everything that I had in the past, like a coward.
This is good for both of us, we never wanted anything serious but I let my feelings rule over my mind and disappointed both of us. Only if I leave we both can be happy, living our lives, as if nothing happens.
I know Jayce doesn't consider me someone more than an employee, and just because we share the bed doesn't mean that we both can share each other's hearts.
*******
Jayce
I smiled at myself even if half asleep, but I'm happy because I know after today things will only get better and change for the better.
I moved to the side of my bed, scanning the space that seemed cold beneath my touch. With my senses on alert, I opened my eyes looking at the space where Rachel was sleeping last night, but now she is nowhere to be found.
Jumping out of bed, I took rapid steps, scanning every inch of my house hoping to somehow find Rachel but no matter how much I try she is nowhere near my sight.
I signed, sitting on the edge of the bed with my hands on my head. "Why?" I groaned, wanting to form the stress and the anger beneath my heart in words. But I can't, it's no use right now. I then grabbed my phone, calling Rachel again and again, but the phone was switched off.
I paced around my house, blaming myself again and again if only I wasn't a fool. To accept the feeling in my heart, that things would be better, maybe I'm too late.
Shut up, I shouted, grabbing my car keys and phone without even caring to change my clothes. I made my way to Rachel's apartment. I need to be quick, I said driving the fastest and safest as legally I can.
Rachel, don't you dare to leave me when I've built enough courage to accept my feelings for you.
I quickly parked my car in front of the apartment building. Running to the door, only to be disappointed with it being locked.
Rachel, why are you hiding? I paced around her front door, nearly losing my mind, finding no way to contact Rachel.
Shit... I punched the wall closest to me, thinking of finding some comfort from my anxiety but nothing helps, it only hurts me this time physically too.
I scanned my knuckle that was now bruised, throbbing badly, but at least it helped distract me even for a bit.
'Rachel,' I sighed her name, playing with the bracelet on my wrist. It was a gift from Rachel, and in many ways, it was just a replica of her personality, sweet and quirky and yet mysterious in some way. And for now, this is the only thing close to me that reminds me of her other than the memories I created with her. I touched the bracelet once more, promising one thing, that I'll find Rachel one day, and that day I will confess everything unknown even the closet in my life to her, and even if even after that her feeling remains unchanged for me, I'll leave her and never look back, living my life as before, alone, dedicated to my works. Because I can't dream of falling for anyone but her in this lifetime.
Until then, my quest to find my mysterious Rachel starts now.
*******
Rachel
"Rachel, do you think daddy loves Jane," Marline asks, scanning pictures of Brandon and Jane and placing them beside each other.
"You know you're smarter than any kids your age," I said, sitting beside as Marline smiled at my words. "And yeah I think your daddy loves Jane, and you know a secret..,"
"What secret..," Marlin said, suddenly excited by my words.
"Well, I don't know for sure… but I think, Jane loves Brandon too, in one way or another,"
"Really, Marline jumps in excitement at my words.
"Hey, but don't say that to your daddy or Jane, it's our little secret,"
"What secret…..."
We both turned our faces to see Jane standing in the doorway, with five-month-old Liam, and loads of shopping bags in arms.
"Jane," I quickly took long steps to the doorways helping Jane with bags of groceries. "How many times do I have to tell you, to call me, when you need me? '' I scolded Jane, only to make her smile and baby Liam giggle.
"So cute," I said, watching Liam yawing in his mother's arms. "Watching you makes me wanna have a baby, but then I change my mind, seeing all the hard work you and Brandon have to put in to raise these two devils."
"I hate you, Rachel," Marlin said, from behind me, crossing her arms around her chest.
"No you don't," I said, tickling her, making her laugh. "See you love me,"
"Can I play with Liam," Marline asked after a while, as Jane relaxed her frame on the couch with Marlin sitting beside her, watching her? "Sure baby, but Liam as you can see Liam is asleep now," Marline looked upset at Jane's words but then smiled. "Then can you tell me a story," Jane nodded.
I sat on the couch watching the three of them snuggling on the couch and having warm cozy family time with each other. It's comforting to see how even without being connected to each other with blood, they find comfort and love in each other's company.
I sometimes find myself an outsider watching them interact but I'm happy to find such good people to work for, but I can't lie that I miss my past life, my old place, people from my past mostly Jayce it's been a year but yet I couldn't forgo my feeling for him, I just hope that he is happy and maybe moved on with his life, and maybe married and have kids that are as sweet as Marline and Liam. Even if he is not with me, I wish him all the happiness in life and the future; I wish that I can say the same for myself.
"Hey guys," I turned my head watching Brandon inside, washing his hands, before sitting beside Jane, "How is my big boy," Brandon smiled, cuddling Liam in his arms.
God, they look so cute with Jane snuggling with Marline and Brandon with Liam and with them playing and snuggling with each other's kids. This image is so cute that I'm so jealous.
I picked up the phone and clicked a few pictures, not letting this perfect moment go uncaptured, "So cute..," my words came louder than I accepted and both Jane and Brandon turned their head at me, "Rachel,"
I smiled trying to act innocent, "What… don't worry I'll send you both a copy, for now, bye..," I said, grabbing my bag and running.
"Rachel," I smiled hearing them shouting my name again and laughing later together. They deserve all the happiness in life.
Small and simple moments and time with family are something that I would die for, but I don't think I deserve any of them. For now, I have to go to work or I'm going to be late.
*******
Jayce
"So what do you think about the new recipe," One of my chef's questions, distracting my thoughts.
"It's bland, no flavor," I slid the plate away from me. "But, this time I tried my best..,"
"Yeah, as last time and the time before that," I stood from my table, wanting to get far away from the person that doesn't even know how to cook a simple dish like this.
"But…," He complained.
"You know what you're fired for, just pack and leave."
"What…but…," He continued as I left the room without caring about his complaints. If a person doesn't know how to cook this simple dish I don't know how he'll manage to cook dishes that are far more complicated and precise than this.
God, I need some fresh air and maybe liquor.
At times like this I miss Rachel even more than I wanted to, she was the best, and even without any professional experience and background in food. The flavor profile of her dishes, the aroma, and the way she presented each and every creation of hers with so much attention and detail. I miss her cooking more than I want to accept it.
Even with years of work and learning, I can't compare with Rachel.
It's almost been a year and yet I couldn't find a clue of where she is, and what makes my search harder is Rachel is a loner and secretive person, in many ways she is like me.
Except for the fact that she is loud and quirky which is quite opposite of what I'm, but staying away from her made me realize one thing that I haven't realized working with her for years. That her smile and attitude are just a mask that she puts on to hide the true feeling in her heart. Her smile is nothing but a shield that she uses to protect herself from suffering, but that day with alcohol in her system she is finally able to show the pain, the thoughts the feeling she has been hiding for years, and that was the last day she did that because after that night she disappears like mist in the air leaving no clue behind whatsoever.
I sighed, shaking my head and forgoing thoughts of Rachel. I don't want to think of her not now. It's been a year and I'm trying my best to find her and ways to contact her. But I'm angry too, anger not only because she left me alone while I was asleep, but not for once did she think of contacting me, or clear any misunderstanding before she ended anything between us.
I know that we were not lovers, not boyfriend or girlfriend, but still, we were something, at least for the sake of our work relationship. She could talk to me for once, before ending everything and leaving with so many unanswered questions behind.
Creation is hard, cheer me up and Like it? Add to your libraby! Have some idea about my story?Comment it and let me know.
Rachel Droplets of tears streamed down from my eyes, sliding down my cheeks, with my eyes burning. If anything I hate in this life and my work, it is these onions. This one thing makes everything I love about cooking hate. But my relationship with onions is something very complicated, I hate and love them, Love eating and adding them, to the food I make but I hate cutting, copping them But it is what it is, I have loved cooking for as long as I can remember. The first time I cooked something edible was when I was a child, and that was a boiled egg. And after that, I never stopped. I started reading cookbooks, watching cooking shows, and even watching my mom cook and tried everything to learn this skill. I don't know why but as a child whenever I was sad or the kids in my school used to bully me because I don't have a dad, I used to come home and cook even as a child all alone in home with my mom working for two to three jobs, cooking brings me peace and it still does, maybe that on
Jayce I sighed, standing outside the small restaurant. I don't even know what I am doing here. But this is not the place that I wanted to visit, but since my car decided to stop working right in front of this place, I've no choice but to wait here, for someone to come and pick me up from this suburban town. "So, what can I get for you," said a waiter as soon as I made my way inside, sitting at the table. "Whatever sells the best," I said casually, not caring to stare at the menu. "Sure," he smiled, leaving me alone with a glass of water. Sitting alone in this nearly empty place, I glanced around the space, scanning my surroundings. This place is small and seems quite old for the style of interior and furniture. Still, this space has quite a calming and, I don't know the right word to describe it but it has quite a homey vibes and atmosphere around here, and what strange is that I like it even when it's quite opposite to my style or choice. "Here, you go," my thoughts got diverted
Rachel I sighed happily, stretching my arms, although I am tired as heck with all the work, and babysitting but at the end of the day, I'm happy and satisfied with myself. Nowadays, two things make me forget that help me forget Jayce, one of Brandon and Jane's babies, and two of my late nights at this restaurant. I don't know why seeing people happy and satisfied with my work, either by eating something I cooked or the time they spend with me, makes my days fulfilled. Even though food and cooking remind me of my time with Jayce and every time I'm cooking. I don't know, but it seems even far away from me there is part of with me every time, I hold a knife or spatula, or see the happily satisfied look on the people's face that comes and devours my food. And that is something I will always be thankful to Jayce, it's because of him that I've so much, if it's not for me then I would have never discovered that I've some kind of thing with cooking too. I remember the first time I was at
Jayce I cleared my throat, clearly not knowing what else to do. Never in ten years of my cooking career have I seen anyone devour my food with so much passion. I don't know what to think of it right now. I can't even describe how turned on I've been only by watching a spoonful of the food in her mouth and to make things worse for me. The moan that escaped from my throat acted like oil in my already fired-up senses. I turned my head trying to avoid my stare only to find eyes staring at my back. I took a deep breath trying to calm my unbalanced senses and shook my head to remove any unnecessary thoughts. "You want anything else," I shook her head at my question, trying to avoid looking at me. "Okay, call me, if you need anything, I'll be in the living room." "But aren't you going to eat anything," I shook my head at her question, "I'm not hungry," I said, trying to leave. She held my hand, stopping me, as I turned my head watching the sincere look on her face. "You must eat, you ha
Jayce Waiting, waiting, and Waiting is what I've been doing last four hours, no one not even Rachel seemed to come, I don't if this right address and at that time I couldn't even ask if I'm in right or if the waiter tricked me. Fuck, I sighed, pacing around, hiding my hands in my coat pockets, I don't know what temperature right now, I just go somewhere warm or take a hot bath but I don't want to miss my only chance to meet Rachel, I just see how she is, her smile, and if I get a chance I do want to ask her why she left me right before the moment I finally decided to overcome my fear of love and confess my feeling for her. For once I want to be Rachel. I pulled my phone hoping to pass some time engaging myself in some silly game but bad luck it ran out of battery. I'm so pissed right now like I haven't been in years. I'm this close to meeting Rachel yet time doesn't seem to pass. Why is everything right now making me feel annoyed? All I want is to see Rachel once again. Some more pa
Rachel "Remember my eighteenth birthday," I said. Daniel lifted his face with his eyes focused on me. "How can I forget? I nodded, I knew what he meant. It was the same day a big tantrum happened in the house with a big fight between Daniel's mom and his and my father too. The fight was so big that it even resulted in their divorce. I don't know, what was the reason behind their fight that was so big that it resulted in separation, even being a cheater can't separate Daniel's mother from his father but a fight did. "What happened that day?" Daniel questioned, breaking the silence between us. I shook my head thinking about telling the truth and breaking the promise that I made only for Daniel's benefit or letting it go. But I guess it's a little too late to forgo the topic itself. "I don't know, I don't want to hurt you by telling you the truth," I said, procrastinating to speak or let go. Daniel smiled, ruffling my hair as he used to when we were younger. "I don't think anything
Jayce It's been a year since that night, and after that night seeing Rachel so happy with someone else, I haven't made any attempt to contact her even though I know where she is but It's sad that even I was so badly searching for her everywhere, I can and now when I know where she is, still, I can't attempt to talk to her. I guess I'm happy at the fact that even without me being a part of her life, she is happy, even if it hurts me that someone is not me but someone other than me. I sighed, making my way inside the restaurant today is a big day for my sister and I don't want to ruin it for her, by looking so fucked up. So I plastered a smile on my face even if it's fake, it works for me. Today she is going to introduce me to her boyfriend, whom she has been talking with me for so long, praising him like a demigod or some other, well I don't care who he is. If he hurts my sister he'll for sure get hurt. I entered, only to find the one that I'd avoided sitting with him. It's been a
Rachel Alone in the living room of the place that holds some precious memories of my life. I don't know, but after being away for so many years from here, this place somehow makes me feel nostalgic. Time seems to have stopped here, as I looked around nothing has changed here so far, everything seems as if it has been years ago. Maybe that is one of the reasons I don't have the heart to leave, even after hearing Jayce's scolding so much. I moved around slowly inspecting every inch of it. Somehow it seems weird for me to see that Jayce is still stuck in the past but then I look at myself and notice he is not stuck in the past. I sighed moving further into the room where I used to live before setting up my apartment. And surprisingly everything is the same here too, the place seems clean, just everything is where I placed it the last time I was here. Watching all this more and more questions pop into my mind. I don't know what to do, about the situation here, Jayce closed himself in h