Chapter 1

In the year I turned 19, my aunt, Janey Cormier, secretly slipped me ten thousand dollars as a New Year's gift.

"You're all grown up now. It's time you learned how to manage your own money."

For the first time in my life, I didn't hand over my New Year's gift to my parents, Kevin Cormier and Ursula Smith.

That night, Dad grabbed a screwdriver and pried open the lock on my cabinet right in front of me.

He snatched the thick envelope from inside with a smug look on his face, as if he'd just proven a point. "I knew something was off with you. So you've somehow learned to misbehave."

Mom took my ten thousand dollars and distributed it among the relatives in the family group chat.

She wrote, "Shiloh didn't know any better and stole from a family elder. This is dirty money. Our family won't tolerate such behavior. We're distributing it to everyone today as an apology on her behalf."

As the screen filled with messages thanking my mom and praising her parenting skills, I stared at my phone and smiled.

Little did I know that would be the last time I ever smiled in that house.

"You're smiling? How dare you smile?" Dad's slap cut through the air.

I didn't feel the pain right away. All I heard was a shrill ringing in my ears.

I stared at the phone on the coffee table. Messages kept pouring into the family group chat.

Aunt Ada texted, "You're so strict with your upbringing. Kids shouldn't have money of their own. Give them some, and they'll start misbehaving."

Aunt Diane texted, "Wow, thanks for the money! Shiloh always seemed like such a well-behaved kid. Who knew she'd have so many tricks up her sleeve?"

Cousin Ben texted, "Thanks, Aunt Ursula! I'm using mine to buy some in-game credits!"

The whole chat was filled with laughter and joy. They were having a blast claiming their shares and chatting away.

Mom shoved her phone in my face. "Look at that! Open your damn eyes and see for yourself! Everyone's laughing at you! How dare you hide money from your own family like some criminal? You think that ten thousand was really a gift from Janey? She was testing you!"

She spat as she spoke, growing more frantic with every word. "If we hadn't caught you, what were you planning to do with that money? To buy drugs? Or get involved in some filthy business behind our backs?"

I leaned against the corner of the wall. My cheek was swollen and burning, and half my face had gone numb.

"Mom..." I spoke with difficulty, my voice so hoarse it felt like I'd swallowed sandpaper. "Aunt Janey said it was to help cover my living expenses in college. I thought... maybe I wouldn't have to ask you for money anymore."

"Bullshit!" Dad raged.

He kicked over a small stool, yanked off the belt around his waist, and whipped it through the air. "Someone with rotten morals like you doesn't deserve an education!"

His chest heaved with rage as he continued, "You can't even trust your own parents! What's next? Are you going to kill? Burn down houses? Or will you come back to turn against us?"

I instinctively hunched my shoulders and covered my head.

"Kevin, don't hit her in the face," Mom said coldly.

She stepped back to give Dad more room as she reminded him, "Tomorrow's New Year's Day, and we're visiting some relatives. If you mess up her face and people ask questions, it'll be my reputation on the line."

"I know," Dad replied.

He raised the belt high and brought it crashing down on me.

Once. Twice… The metal buckle struck my back with dull, sickening thuds.

I didn't make a sound. I just stared wide-eyed at the crystal chandelier on the ceiling.

Its harsh white light reminded me of a spotlight in an interrogation room, exposing every corner of the house and leaving me nowhere to hide.

When Dad finally grew tired, he flung the belt onto the couch and pointed a finger at my nose. "Do you admit your wrongdoing?"

I slowly raised my head to look at him.

His oily face glistened with sweat, and his eyes shone with the satisfaction of having vented his anger.

"I was wrong," I said mechanically.

"How so?" he pressed.

I said, "I shouldn't have hidden the money. I shouldn't have been selfish..."

Then, I paused and added softly, "I shouldn't... have been born."

Mom seemed satisfied with that answer. She nudged my leg with her foot.

"Go write an apology of two thousand words. Explain where the money came from and why you hid it. Post it in the family group chat and apologize to everyone. If it isn't sincere enough, you won't get dinner tonight," she said.

I clutched my phone. Its light illuminated the bruises on the back of my hand.

Suddenly, a new message appeared in the group chat.

Aunt Janey wrote, "What on earth are you doing? I gave that money to Shiloh!"

The next second, the group admin of "Big Happy Family" enabled administrator-only messaging and removed Aunt Janey from the chat.

Mom scoffed and put away her phone. "Janey is a fool. Spoil a child, and you'll ruin them. Yet, she still wants to play the good person. From now on, stay away from her. I won't have her corrupting you."

Silence settled over the living room once more.

My parents went to eat dinner. The clinking of their dishes filled the house with the comforting sounds of family life. I knelt on the cold floor, staring at the notification that Aunt Janey had been removed from the group chat.

Something inside me felt as if it had finally shattered beyond repair.

My fingers hovered over the screen for a long time.

Then, I typed a message. "Dad, Mom, I don't want the money anymore. I don't want to live anymore, either."

My fingertip hovered over the send button. I could hear them chatting and laughing as if nothing had happened from the kitchen.

"Those ribs turned out pretty good."

"Did you get the gifts ready for tomorrow?"

Why? Why should they get to go on living in peace even after I was gone?

I deleted my final message.

Then, I sent a new one to the family group chat. "Dad and Mom were right to discipline me. I was wrong. Please use the money to buy some food for everyone. Happy New Year!"