Chapter 006

Lucian

The shift was unbearable.

And no one could see me like this the monstrosity I'd become every full moon but she did.

She watched as the beast inside of me

Violently clawed its way out of me.

She saw my bones cracking one by one, the pain shredding through every nerve like fire. It never got easier, with every full moon that came and went.

But tonight, the monster bowed to her. I was in control, and I'd never been in control of the beast. Not after she died.

That night I didn't sleep. I paced my room, laid on the bed till it was dawn.

When I ran into the forest, I wasn't sure where she had gone to, but what haunted me was why she was not frightened by the beast she saw.

A knock landed on the door, followed by Veronica.

She walked hesitantly. When I raised my head to meet her eyes, I immediately stood up from the bed and walked to the window.

I wasn't interested in talking to her or anyone right now.

She walked to me.

“Leave,” I said without looking at her.

“Lucian... please, I'm sorry.”

Her voice ever so seductive. She was closer now, letting her robe fall to the ground, revealing her almost naked body.

“You didn't come over last night.” She ran one hand down my bare chest. “It was a full moon. I expected you to have come and ruin me like every full moon, but you didn’t.”

“I wasn’t in the mood last night,” was all I said as her hand went down my waistline. I didn’t push her away, and she smiled.

“You are always in the mood for me. I help you control the beast,” she whispered into my ear.

Quickly, I lifted her up and carried her to the bed.

She gasped, delighted, as I dropped her onto the bed with a thud. The thin fabric she had on rolled up, exposing the soft, pale curves she always offered so willingly.

“I missed you,” she whispered, her breath already shallow as she watched me strip off the last of what I wore. “You always come back to me… when the beast needs control.”

I didn’t speak. I didn’t need to.

She arched her back as I climbed over her, my hands rough as they squeezed her full breasts and thighs not with affection, but hunger. Desperation. Frustration. I bit, and she moaned, clutching at my shoulders like she loved the pain.

She liked it like this messy, wild, and hard.

I needed something, anything to make me forget last night and Saraphina.

Veronica was panting beneath me, nails dragging down my back. “That’s it,” she breathed. “Let it out. Let the monster out. You know I can take it.”

I swung her legs open and she moaned loud.

My grip tightened around her hips. I drove into her with no warning, no care. She cried out in pleasure, writhing, begging for more.

But even as her body reacted, mine didn’t.

I felt nothing.

Not the usual high. Not the temporary calm.

Just… hollow.

I drove harder into her, wanting to feel something anything.

Her moans blurred into background noise. My rhythm slowed. My breath hitched.

And then just like that I stopped.

She blinked up at me, confused, lips parted. “Lucian…?”

I pulled back, staring down at her. At the way she looked at me like I was hers. Like I’d always be hers.

But she wasn’t the one I wanted.

I climbed off the bed and got dressed, my chest rising and falling in ragged breaths.

“What’s going on?” she asked, confused, sitting up. Her cheeks flushed from heat and frustration. “You’ve been acting different, Lucian. Am I doing something wrong?”

“I don’t want this,” I said quietly, more to myself than to her.

“What?”

“I don’t want you,” I snapped, turning to face her. My voice was sharp, cutting through the tension like a blade. “Get out.”

Veronica’s face twisted in disbelief. “You were inside me a second ago, and now you want me to leave?”

I stepped back, jaw clenched. Her scent made me sick now. Her touch lingered on my skin like something rotten.

She stood, grabbing the sheet to cover herself. “Is there someone else?” she hissed.

I didn’t answer. I didn't even spare her a look.

She stormed past me, shoving my chest as she passed. “You’ll come crawling back,” she growled. “You always do.”

I grabbed her wrist, pulling her to face me. “Don’t you ever speak to me in such manner.”

She looked startled as I let her go.

The door slammed behind her, leaving me alone in the silence.

Alone with the beast that refused her.

Alone with the memory of the only woman it had ever bowed to and didn’t want to tear into shreds.

I walked to the window again. Whenever the beast was in control, sex was the only thing that usually calmed me down.

But last night I fought so hard not to shift but I did.

How did she know where I was last night? I ran my hand through my hair. Just thinking about this felt like madness.

No one had seen me shift apart from my mate. And now Saraphina had.

I clenched my fists against the window frame, the wood groaning under the strain. Her name echoed in my head Saraphina.

The way she had looked at me unflinching, unafraid as the monster tore its way through my flesh… it haunted me.

She should’ve run. Screamed. Passed out like the way people behave when they see monsters. But she didn’t.

A growl rumbled in my throat, low and bitter. I hated that she saw me like that. And yet… I craved it.

That moment. That connection.

Why didn’t she run?

My chest tightened at the memory of her eyes wide, shimmering, yet steady. Not pity. Not terror. Just… understanding. Like she knew pain too. Like the darkness in me recognized its match in her.

I turned from the window, dragging my fingers down my face. I needed air. I needed an

swers. I needed her.

Why do I crave her so much so badly? I didn't understand any of it.

But I wanted her.

I wanted Saraphina.