Chapter 3

KARI’S POV

Oftentimes, the decision to keep living is the hardest one.

And as I sat across from my father on the carriage ride back to our pack after he found me, I knew I'd made the right decision.

The ride was completely silent,except for the sound of the rain as it pounded against the wooden door, mirroring the weeping of my own shattered spirit.

I sat huddled in the corner, my torn, black silks now a muddy, pathetic grub.  

Father sat like a statue carved from ice, his gaze fixed firmly on the window.

The silence only grew, until it was heavier than the silk of my ruined gown.

“Papa,” I whispered, my voice sounding like dry parchment. “Surely we can appeal to the Council. What Titan did... it is a the old laws. A bonded mate cannot be just be discarded like a common servant.”

Finally he looked at me for the first time since I clambered into the carriage. It was a look of great disappointment, but I much preferred it over his judgemental silence.

“Why do you keep embarrassing me, Kari? Where did your mother and I go wrong?”

I licked my lips nervously, shaking my head. “Papa I…” I lowered my gaze to my cold, wet fingers, wringing them. “I'm sorry, sir.”

“You should be!” He fumed. “Was it not enough that you brought shame to the Silvermoon household by getting rejected on your wedding day? Why did I just find you trying to end your own life?!”

“That's because I'm hurt, papa…”

“Silence!” he snapped, his voice a whip-crack in the confined space.

He averted his eyes, fixing them on the Silvermoon crest etched into the glass of the carriage door.

“You have humiliated this family in front of every notable leader in our realm. Our pack is now a laughingstock.”

He eyed me angrily, “do you know what they were saying in the back pews? They were calling you a ‘the weak reject.’ They were saying Titan was wise to trade a pebble for a diamond and that Indira was different because she isn’t truly from Silvermoon!”

“Father…”

“Do you understand what they mean by that?” He asked harshly, cutting me off. “They are saying that I am only capable of producing weaklings, and that your half-sister is better because she isn't really a part of our family!”

“This is all because of Titan’s cruelty, not my failing!” I cried, my heart breaking further. “I was a faithful mate! I spent three years learning the workings of his estate, the lineages of his people, the very rhythm of his heart!”

“A mate’s duty is to hold her Alpha’s interest,” father countered coldly, finally turning his gaze back to me. His eyes were hard and devoid of any warmth.

“Clearly, you lacked the fire to do so. You are a liability, Kari. A rejected wolf brings a rot to the pack. Your presence will sour our standing, dampen the spirits of our warriors, and signal to our enemies that Silvermoon’s blood is weak.”

“Well they'd be wrong, father, because we are not weak.”

“As my first child, you're doing a terrible job of showing them that,” he replied quickly.

Then shook his head as he let out a defeated breath.

“I should have hardened my heart, I blame myself for how you turned out. I spoilt you too much.”

“You love me, papa,” I chipped in desperately. “That is why you treated me so kindly and I thank you for that.”

Our eyes met again and something died inside me at the look I saw in his.

“I'm not so sure whether I love you anymore, daughter.”

“Then wh…why did you come after me?” I asked in a voice that was almost a whisper. “You told me to leave, why did you come after me, papa?”

Father simply leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

I never got an answer to my question.

                           ***

The carriage lurched to a halt before the stone manor, which had always been my sanctuary.

Now it only looked like a fortress designed to keep me out. As we stepped into the foyer, my mother stood waiting.

I expected her to rush and embrace me, but she didn't.

She didn't check for the bruise on my arm from when I fell after father cut me down.

Her cold eyes merely raked over me, taking in the muddy hem of my dress with a sneer of realisation, followed by profound disappointment.

“Mother,” I begged, reaching out a hand stained with the debris still sticking to my wet palms.

She stepped back, her silk skirts rustling like a warning. “Do not touch me with the scent of death clinging to you!”

I swallowed back a sob, bowing my head in humiliation as tears gathered in my eyes.

“Did you truly think you could successfully disgrace this family further?”

Two drops fell to the floor as I shook my head, shivering slightly from the chill. “No, mama.”

She scoffed, “I have always told you to be more like Indira.”

I gripped my dress, my vision blurring as I raised my head to look at my mother.

“You should've listened to me,” she sneered.

“I am your daughter!”  I screamed, the injustice of it finally boiling over, my voice echoing off the high, vaulted ceilings.

“I am the same girl who sat at your feet and sang for the guests! How can you turn on me because of a rejection that was out of my control?!”

“You are a disgrace,”  my father stated, his voice flat and final. He signaled to the butler, a man who had known me since I was a babe but who now refused to meet my eyes.

“Fetch her trunks. Only the ones she brought from her girlhood. Anything purchased with Silvermoon coin, the jewelry, the furs, the French silks, is to be burned in the courtyard. I will not have his charity under my roof.”

Bianca appeared at the top of the stairs, her face pale as her frantic eyes locked on mine.

A look passed between us and her knuckles immediately turned white as she gripped the banister.

“Father, you cannot do this, you just brought her home.”

“Yes,” he nodded, “so you can say your goodbye to her, I knew you'd want to.”

“What I want is for you and mother to comfort your daughter after what she has been through!” Bianca cried out. “You've both been very selfish in all this. Has any of you paused to understand how Kari feels?!”

I sniffled, wiping my tears even as more came from the heaviness of my heart.

Bianca's defence was like a death-blow to the wall I had kept in front of my misery.

“Bianca, enough,” mother warned.

My sister ignored her. “For heaven's it is night, and the woods are full of rogues and highwaymen! She has no coin, no protection!”

“Your sister is a rogue herself now,” father replied hotly, turning his back on me to stoke the fireplace.

“Kari, you are hereby stripped of your title and your rank. You are no longer a daughter of mine until I say so. You may remain here as a servant if you wish, but if not,” he paused, staring into my eyes, “you have until the moon reaches the middle of the sky to leave these lands.”

“Father, no!” Bianca shouted, rushing down to take my hand firmly as she stood beside me. “You cannot do this, it's not right! Mama, please talk to him,” Bianca implored.

I was cold. So, so cold.

“If you are found on Silvermoon soil tomorrow, you will be hunted as an intruder,” father continued, ignoring Bianca's outburst.

“If Kari leaves then so will I!”

Silence fell over the room, even as the rain intensified. Mama and Papa turned their glares at me, as if i was the one who told Bianca to say she'd leave with me.

I could no longer hide my trembling, or the insistent chattering of my teeth.

I squeezed my sister’s fingers then leaned closer to her, “please stay,” I whispered.

“No,” she shook her head. “You can't leave, it's dangerous.”

“I'll be all right,” I pulled her into a hug, relishing in the brief warmth of her embrace before pulling away.

“Kari…”

“Seize her!” Father ordered, and three guards immediately charged towards Bianca.

“No! Stay back!” She lashed at them, kicking and screaming, but they subdued her.

My sister screamed for me, but I could only give her one last parting glance.

I didn't wait for the trunks, I simply grabbed a dark, heavy traveling cloak from the stand, ignoring Bianca's loud, heartbroken sobs, as I walked out into the cold, rainy night.