Chapter 2

LYRA

I wake up on the floor of my room and for one brief, merciful moment I don’t remember why. That is of course until it all rushes back to me. My brief happiness and the immense pain that followed. My wolf’s silence and everything else.

You don’t know how fortunate you are till misfortune hits. You don’t realize just how easy everything was till things get harder. You don’t think of how much you have till you don’t anymore.

These are the thoughts that find me as I sit up slowly looking around my room. The sun rays filter through the gap in my curtains making me look down. My dress is wrinkled beyond saving, my face feels swollen and my whole body aches from spending the night on the hardwood floor. Somewhere in the pack house I live in someone is moving around in the kitchen, the usual sounds of a morning that has arrived without asking if I’m ready for it.

I’m not ready for it.

I press my palms flat against the cold floorboards taking steady breaths, I feel my wolf stir within me. Her movement is faint and exhausted, not like her usual self but I’m just grateful she’s still there. I attempt to shift trying to reconnect with her but she doesn’t bulge. I feel the wall she has put between us and realize just how affected she was by the rejection.

The smell of toast and coffee hit me as I make my way to the kitchen. Even though I don’t want to see anyone this early after what happened, crying all night has drained me and I need to eat. Times like this make me regret living in the pack house with other unmated wolves.

I see two girls busy in the kitchen and they both look up as I walk in.

There is pity in their eyes and I wish the floor would open up and swallow me whole.

“Morning.” I greet, trying for a cheerful tone.

“Good morning.” the shorter of the two replies, “There’s toast if you want it.”

I mumble a thank you to her as I pour myself a glass of water. I stand at the counter and no one says anything about last night. Their silence however is louder than if they had said anything at all. I gobble down the toast quickly in an attempt to return to my room when it hits me.

I set the glass down on the counter when I feel a wave of pain. This is nothing like what I felt last night. The pain starts from the bottom of my abdomen to my chest.

My eyes widen and I gasp, doubling over. This pain is like nothing I’ve felt before. I thought it was horrible till it reached my heart and I realized how much worse it could get. I try hard to listen to what the girls are saying but it is like they are buzzing in my ears and I keep spacing out.

The pain moves through me in waves so forceful, I have to grip the counter to remain upright. My wolf makes a broken, horrible sound deep in my chest and I immediately know what is happening.

My mate is sleeping with the woman he chose over me.

“Lyra?” I hear a voice somewhere behind me. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” I manage.“I’m fine.”

I’m not fine. I’m so far from fine. Setting down the glass of water, I try as hard as I can to walk out of the kitchen without drawing their attention.

I make a beeline for my room not wanting to give my pack members another reason to talk about me.

Thankfully, I make it to my room before my legs give out from underneath me. My legs find my bed and I bite my pillow trying to muffle my scream. Some people say it’s a gift but I think it’s a curse that you can feel when your mate is cheating on you.

I don’t know how long I lie there as the pain rolls through me in waves, but I know it’s long enough for the pain I feel to easily go from unbearable to something I can breathe through. I don’t know when I passed out but I come through when I hear persistent knocks on my door.

Pulling the pillow away from my face, I stare at the ceiling, willing whoever it is to leave me alone.

“Lyra.”

My wolf stirs, I know that voice. What is he doing here?

I don’t move.

“I know you’re in there.” He says. “I’m not going to leave till I see you.”

I believe him. Dylan Ashbourne has never been a man who gives up.

I sit up slowly as I catch sight of my reflection in the small mirror across the room. With the wrinkled dress from last night and my puffy eyes I look exactly how I feel inside.

I cross the room to the door and open it.

I know I should hate and despise him after everything but seeing him standing in the hallway in all his glory, I can’t help the wave of attraction that hits me. I have to tilt my head back to see his face. His blue eyes staring at me almost made me cower back. Standing this close to him is intimidating, he looks clean with his brown hair styled perfectly—not a strand out of place— and his lips looks so kissable that I nearly jump on him.

I start to feel self conscious about my own appearance as his eyes move over me before I remember the humiliation he let me face, the pain he caused me this morning and the night before.

No, he doesn’t deserve anything from me.

“What do you want, Dylan.” It’s not a question. I don’t have the energy in me to ask anymore questions.

“I wanted to see how you were doing,” he says, his tone soft.

“You’ve seen it, goodbye.” I move to close the door but his hand shoots out and stops me in my tracks.

“I need to talk to you,” he pleads. “Please.”

I’m so shocked by his begging I actually stop.

I lean against the wall, crossing my hands on my chest as I wait for him to state his mission.

Taking this as his permission to speak, he steps into the doorway, but not in the room like he’s trying to keep his distance.

“Emery is not comfortable with your presence in the pack.”

I stare at him.

“She’s pregnant with my child. The stress isn’t good for the baby and with everything that happened last night—” He pauses. “Your presence in the pack is making things difficult for her.”

“My presence?” I ask slowly, just in case I misheard. “In my own pack?”

“I know this isn’t ideal—”

“You’re weak” the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. My voice shakes, not from fear but from the anger that has been building since I woke up on the floor this morning.

“What isn’t ideal is waiting anxiously for years to meet your mate only to be rejected minutes later. What isn’t ideal is waking up the next morning still in pain from the rejection only to realize your mate is heartless enough to sleep with another when he knows how it’ll affect you. What isn’t ideal is living with the fear that your wolf might not survive being rejected. ” I scream at him, tears pooling at my eyes.

“You are weak Dylan. You are standing in my room the morning after humiliating me in front of everyone, not to apologize but to ask me to leave everything I’ve ever known because your girlfriend is uncomfortable? That is not strength. That is not the sign of a true Alpha. That is the sign of a weak and pathetic man.” I spit.

I didn’t know I had it in me but I guess all the pain is slowly turning to anger and frustration. How can this be my life?

Dylan looks stunned by my outburst. Did he forget that I would feel the pain of his intimate moments with another?

“Your girlfriend—” I try to calm myself. “First she stole my mate and now she wants me to leave?”

He seems to recover from the shock as his expression changes.

“Lyra—”

“Don’t.” I hate how my voice breaks on the word. “Don’t say my name like that.”

“I need you to calm down.”

“I am calm,” my fingers curl, nails biting into my palm trying to stop the tears from falling. “I am telling you calmly that you are a coward.”

His nostrils flare.

“I am your Alpha! You will not speak to me that way!” he bellows clearly agitated.

“You are not my Alpha, you are the future Alpha. You have not earned the title yet and you are certainly not my anything.”

Silence.

I stare at him, daring him to correct me. His jaw tightens as he stares back, the veins on his neck popping as he fights back , his temper, his pride and the part of him that isn’t used to being spoken to this way. I don’t look away. Not once.

Dylan’s face softens as he slowly reaches his hand out. He brushes a tear from my cheek that I didn’t know was there.

“Nobody stole anybody. We just think that this is what is best for everyone.”

“Where would I go?” I ask stepping away from him as his hands fall to his sides.

“There are other packs that take in—”He stops.

“Omegas with no pack?” I finish. “Isn’t that what you were going to say?”

His jaw tightens “I was going to say wolves looking for a fresh start.”

I knew I was riling him up. The protruding vein on his forehead said it all. Nobody was allowed to talk down on an Alpha but after the day I’ve had I just didn’t care. How could he be so cruel?

“I grew up here.”

“I know.”

“I have nowhere else to go.”

“I know that too.” he runs his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated. “I’m sorry Lyra, but I have to do what’s best for my family.”

His family. My heart breaks at those words.

“I’m supposed to be your family.” the words spill out before I have a chance to stop them and for a second I think I see a reluctant look in his eyes. Despite everything that happened I’m still holding out hope that he would go back on his decision and accept me as his mate. However his thick eyelashes swipe down on his face and the emotion is gone.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers, looking defeated.

“I need you to leave.” I say quietly.

He looks hurt at my words but I don’t care.

The small part me that had been holding on gave up quietly and I step back away from him.

“I need you to leave” I say firmly.

“Lyra—“

“I need you to leave my room” I hiss. “Right now.”

He hesitates like he has more to say but then he nods as he steps back into the hallway.

“Think about it.” He says like he gave me a choice when we both know I don’t have any other option.

I slam the door in his face.

Standing with my back against the door and my eyes closed I let out the tears I had been holding in since our conversation started. I think about what he said as I listen to his footsteps move down the hallway.

Will I really have to leave the only home I’ve ever known? Granted it never really felt like home but it’s the only one I’ve ever known.

I walk on unsteady legs towards my bed and collapse on it. My pillow is still damp from earlier.

I stare at the ceiling as I think about my life in a pack that watched me break and didn’t offer to help. I think about the man who came back, not to apologize but to kick me out of his life for good. How did things go so wrong?

Outside my window the pack grounds are alive as people move about with their lives.

Something makes me look up.

From my ground floor window I can see the pack grounds clearly.

Across the pack grounds there’s a figure I don’t recognize and then— as though he feels my eyes on him —he turns.

He looks directly at my window as though watching me.

How long has he been standing there?

Is he watching me?

I feel my wolf, who has been very still, stir up. Is that fear or something else?

Before I can figure out who it is however, he is gone like he was never there.