Chapter 4

LYRA

I’m not going to go. Going to meet a potentially— albeit breathtaking— stranger in the woods is crazy. Isn’t it?

I battle with my thoughts as I lie awake staring at the ceiling. I use the face and thought of the beautiful stranger to distract myself from constant pain I feel from the severed bond. . 

I’m not going.

He’s a stranger. He watched me through my window for goddess knows how long. He appeared on an empty path and basically ordered me to show up tomorrow like my time was his. I don’t know anything about him besides his name.

I’m not going. I fall asleep with that thought in mind. 

I wake up in pain.

Not the chest pain that came with the rejection, that has become so familiar I barely recognise it now. This is a gut wrenching pain I feel in my stomach. The nauseating pain that means Dylan is having his fun with Emery and the moon goddess decided I need to know about it at four in the morning.

I press my face into the pillow trying to breathe through it slowly, the way I have learned. I use the pillow to stifle my screams not wanting to wake the other wolves. I try to distract myself by focusing on something else. The texture of the pillowcase. The weight of the blanket on me. The sound of the early morning wind as it rushes past my window. 

The pain passes eventually as it always does and I lie still, drenched in sweat staring through the gap in my curtains.

Three days. It’s been just three days since my twentieth birthday. I have broken down on the floor. I have been humiliated in front of the whole pack. I have even been asked to leave my own pack by the man who rejected me— granted, he was following orders from his father. 

Three days of constant pain and heartache. Even if Alpha Godric and Dylan hadn’t asked me to leave the pack, would I really want to remain in this place?

These are the thoughts that go through my mind as I get up.

I follow the path he mentioned. The morning air is cold and the path is still quiet as wolves have yet to wake. I tell myself to keep walking. I haven’t decided anything yet. I am just taking a walk since I couldn’t sleep. This doesn’t mean anything. 

I hear the river before I see it— narrow, clear and running over smooth stones —marking the border between Ashveil and another pack. Pushing past a heavy curtain of pine branches, I step onto a narrow strip of muddy bank. The riverbank is empty when I arrive and for a split second I wonder if I dreamt the grey eyed stranger up. 

He is here. 

He’s leaning against a tree with his well muscled arms crossed over his chest. He looks completely relaxed for a tresspasser. Staring at him I wonder if the pack that borders Ashveil is his. I don’t know the name as I’ve never ventured out of my pack. 

Something stays with me though.

He came first and he waited for me. Something about that resonates with me as no one has ever done that before or maybe I’ve gotten so used to animosity I’m making little things seem like a big deal. 

He turns towards me as he hears me approaching. A rush of warmth ran down my spine as I met his heavy gaze. His piercing grey eyes held me captive and I had the strong urge to avert my gaze, but I didn’t want to cower before him. His expression doesn’t change as he seemingly appraises me. I stopped a few feet away wanting to give him space. I still don’t know this man.

I see that he notices this but doesn’t say anything. “You know who I am,”

No I don’t “Xavier Voss. You told me that yesterday.”

He seems surprised by my reply. “You didn’t make any inquiries about me?”

Without waiting for a reply he continues. “I am the Alpha of Blackridge Pack. We share the south border with Ashveil.”

What is the Alpha of a rival pack doing in Ashveil? Does Alpha Godric know he is here? What is going on?

He must have seen the look on my face. “Yes, your Alpha knows I am in his pack.”

“What do you want with me?” I decide to choose the safest reply.

He looks steadily at me. “You found your mate three days ago.”

It’s not a question. He says it matter of factly like it’s common knowledge and the reminder of Dylan makes my chest ache.

Clenching my jaw and fighting the urge to return home—as my cheeks heat in annoyance—I look into his eyes. “Yes.”

“And you were rejected.”

“I’m aware of what happened to me.”

He doesn’t react to the evident anger in my voice. He just looks steadily on as though considering whether or not to tell me something. 

“The woman Dylan Ashbourne chose, Emery Coldwell.”

Where is he going with this? “Yes.”

“She is my mate.”

My wolf peeks up at that and after a moment of stunned silence I realize why.

He is Emery’s mate. Did he come to claim his mate? What does that mean for Dylan and I? Would I accept him back?

So many thoughts race through my mind at once and I almost miss what he says next. 

“Was” he says. “She was my mate. She rejected the bond. For Dylan.” I see the pain in his eyes before it is gone and suddenly I know why my wolf was drawn to him.

He understands the pain. 

I remember the pain that came with the severance of the mate bond. The humiliation I felt and the intense pain I feel whenever Dylan loses himself in Emery. Is that how it is for him? Or does being an Alpha make it worse?

 “The pain,” I start, unsure. “Is it…”

“It’s a problem.” His reply is flat. “A vulnerable Alpha is a weak Alpha and it sends signals to every rogue pack that my pack is vulnerable. That my pack can be targeted.” He paces the narrow edge of the bank. His heavy boots crushing the gravel beneath them. “I can’t afford to be weak. My pack can’t afford it.”

I look up at this large muscled man and can’t imagine him being weak for even a second. Xavier is putting on a strong face but if what I know of the mate bond is true then he is currently feeling triple of what I feel. I already can’t handle the pain I’m in so I can’t even begin to imagine what feeling three times that is like.

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do now?” His question catches me off guard.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to stay here and keep relieving the pain of that day every time you see them together?”

“I haven’t decided yet and I don’t think it’s any of your business.” His expression doesn’t even flicker despite my harsh tone. He kept the same neutral expression.

“What if I offer you a place in my pack?”

In his pack? Why would he do that?

“Why would you do that?” I don’t trust his offer. Why would he want to help me? What is he getting out of it?

“I know what it is to be rejected. I know how it feels to want to hate the person who put you through it, but you can’t help your feelings for them. I know the constant pain you feel when they are with someone else. I understand all these. More than you know.”

I’m surprised by how expressive he is despite his composure. Guilt knocks at my door, one single tap. I shouldn’t have spoken to him that way.

“I’m sorry about Emery. No one deserves to be treated as we have.”

He nods curtly but doesn’t reply.

“Alright, how would this work? How would this help me get over Dylan and what are you getting out of it?”

He holds my gaze. “I want you to be my mate.”