Anniversary..

~~Scarlette~~

"Woman? You're nothing but a man in a woman's body.”

“Your womb is useless. Can't even carry a child. So tell me, what makes you different from a man?"

My mother-in-law’s words from two nights ago still echoed in my head as I stood on the raised platform of our townhouse’s ballroom, watching the guests flood in.

This year, contrary to our previous small arrangements, my husband has outdone himself by opening our doors to the high and mighty of the London society and preparing an extravagant party.

A massive cake stood in front of me and a knife remained clenched in my hand.

My cheeks might crack from the force of my smile.

Yet, the mountain of worry melted into a poodle when the familiar warmth from my husband's hand covered my smaller one. He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, as if silently saving me from my wandering thoughts.

The cheers from the gathered guests filled the room as the spotlight zeroed in on us and the chandelier shone brightly on my face.

I have never been one to enjoy the high and thrills of high society parties, but this particular one was special, not just because I was the hostess, but because it was meant…for me.

My fifth wedding anniversary. With the man of my dreams.

Ethan Thane Newton.

The husband who had stood by me through thick and thin. The man who had loved me for five years… despite my childlessness.

The world had been cruel, but he had remained my anchor, and though there was no pressure on his part regarding our unfortunate situation, I knew I couldn't be such a joy killer on an important occasion such as this.

So I refused to allow my insecurities to dampen my mood further and perfected my smile. Nothing is going to spoil my day.

“3!...2!!…1!!!”

As the guests counted down for us to cut the cake, laughter rippled through the space.

"Come on, kitten,"

Ethan's voice stood out through the noise, his smile perfectly fitting his handsome, fair face as his lip brushed my ear. The Newtons spared no expense when it came to throwing a good party, and Ethan had insisted that only the exclusive members of the society get invited to our annual wedding anniversary soiree.

"Tell me....What would you like for this year's anniversary?" His voice was calm, sharp, and his eyes locked onto mine.

A familiar whiff of citrus and sandalwood brushed my senses and made my heart squeeze.

My teeth sank into my bottom lip, thinking. I had everything—the luxury, the wealth. What more could he give me? He had already given me everything. And yet, something was missing. A child. Children.

"Ethan… I should think about it. I have everything I could need," I said, smiling as I turned away shyly. Almost everything. A tiny voice whispered back, and I swallowed the bile rising in my throat.

His gentle hand nudged my face back to meet his ocean blue eyes.

"No way.” He whispered. He flicked his eyes over my rouge lips and the blue in them darkened even more. “With you, nothing is ever enough. I want you to have more. And more you shall get," he said flatly, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Now, kitten, tell me what you desire?" he urged again, his hand still resting gently under my chin.

A knot formed in my throat.

My lips parted slightly, my eyes widening just a little. I was about to say something—anything at all—when a voice thundered through the crowd.

"A child. That's all she should ask for."

My breath caught.

Heads turned. I followed the direction of the voice immediately.

My mother-in-law. She was back.

I stepped forward instinctively to greet her, even though I knew she would never acknowledge me. To her, I had always been bad luck for her son.

"Don’t you dare touch me!" she thundered, her voice vibrating through the room. Servants rushed past us with suitcases in hand, and goosebumps pelted down my exposed arms.

"You have everything but you lack the most important thing in life," Everleigh Newton continued. "A child!”

“You should give us a child, woman. You have a mansion as big as this! Throwing parties at every little whim! Yet no child is running around the halls!”

“Right now, Scarlett, I'm beginning to see you as a man, not a woman!” She spat the words with so much venom before striding past me toward Ethan.

I stood there, frozen. All words eluding me. I couldn't even defend myself.

My hands trembled as I turned slowly, watching her stop in front of Ethan. I couldn't grasp what they were talking about at first, but as I moved closer, her words hit me like a slap.

"Ethan, I have told you countless times—you should throw this woman out of this house! She doesn’t deserve to be your wife. She’s barren. Like a stick! And I don’t see any reason why a stick should be with you!" she yelled.

"Mother, just stop this nonsense! Can’t you see how you’re rubbing dirt on us in front of all these people? Can’t you at least wait until the guests have left?" Ethan barked sharply.

"Ethan… you are not going to speak to me that way, do you understand? And certainly not because of a barren woman who has refused to give this family a child."

"No, Mother. I won’t let you talk to my wife like that. Not anymore. If she can’t have a child now, it’s not a problem. Have I ever complained to you about this?" Ethan shot back, his voice growing thicker by the second.

"I know…" she said, shaking her head. "You’re blind to all of this. Your love for her has blinded you too much to see reason."

She paused, then continued with a cold finality. "You should get another wife. A wife who will give you a child—not just one, but many. You deserve better, my son."

She placed her hands on his shoulders, her voice lowering as she added, "Not this old and foolish girl you call a wife. God only knows what kind of garbage she has done to her womb."

Gasps rose from around us.

She spat out the last words with disgust as she eyed me from across the hall, and the strangest thing happened. My stomach recoiled… from an imaginary shame.

Imaginary, because deep down I knew I had not done anything to deserve what those words implied. Ethan was the first and only man I’d been intimate with. Even he knew that.

“If you waste one more year waiting for this she-man to give you a child, you’re going to ruin everything. Everything, Ethan.”

Her voice was sharp, too loud as she continued.

“Tell me,” she said, creasing her forehead, her furious eyes locked on her son.

“Would you still sit here, wasting time, and let your younger brother, Liam, find a wife and have children before you do? Let his child become the heir to this family first? Huh, Ethan? Is that what you want?”

She didn’t even spare me a glance. Like I wasn’t standing right there.

To her, I wasn’t a woman. I was a broken machine. A failure. A waste of time. A man.

"Enough! Mother, enough already!" Ethan snapped, and I swallowed. Hard. I could see his ears turning red even from a distance. If there was anything Ethan hated more than failure, it was hands down embarrassment.

"You just got back from a trip. I suggest you go inside and rest."

Ethan walked over to me, his hand gripping mine. I was frozen to the spot—shame, pain, and humiliation crushing my chest, restricting the flow of oxygen.

I didn't know when my eyes filled with tears. Or when my hand reached out toward her, desperately.

"Mother, I’m sorry. I swear.... I will do better. I’ll take my treatments seriously. I will make sure to give you a grandchild. Please.... Mother, forgive me. I’ll go see the family Doc—"

She shoved my hand away before I could finish. "Get lost. It’s already too late."

Then, without another word, she turned and strode out of the hall, heading upstairs. To her room.

Whispers filled the space, and the murmurs grew until I wished the ground would just split open and swallow me.

I leaned into Ethan’s chest as he pulled me close, his warmth the only thing keeping me upright.

"Please, everyone, the party is over.” He said, voice low and cold. “Thank you for attending.”

One by one, they left, their curious stares lingering until the last person was gone.

And then, we were alone, standing in the vast silence of the sitting hall.

"Hey, hey…kitten, look at me." Ethan tilted my chin up, his deep eyes locking onto mine.

"Don’t take anything my mother said to heart, okay? She can say whatever she wants, but we...." he exhaled sharply “…we’ll always be together. Always and forever. I promise..."

I shook my head and slowly turned away from him. "No, Ethan… you don’t get it." My voice trembled.

"She’s right. I couldn’t give this family an heir. I still can’t." The words came out broken, muffled against his chest as he pulled me in.

His hand trailed through my hair, a touch so gentle that it almost shattered me. Without a word, he led me toward our bedroom.

"Ethan…?" I called softly as we walked.

"Yes, kitten?" His voice was calm, patient. "Tell me."

I stopped, wiping the last of my tears away. He turned to face me, eyes searching mine, waiting.

I hesitated, then forced the words out. "Can we try again?"

His brows knit together. "Try what again?" Something flickered in his eyes. His tone was sharp and hard to read.

I swallowed hard, but didn’t let my eyes stray from his even once. "Having a child. I mean…" I took a deep breath. "We should try again tonight."

I stepped closer, my fingers trembling as they gripped his collar.

When was the last time he touched me?

It had been so long. Too long. Every time I reached for him, he pulled away, muttering something about not wanting to "stress me out." And I listened. I had swallowed my pride, my desires, and let it go.

But tonight—tonight had to be different. I had been taking the medications Dr. Marlowe prescribed, the ones Mother made sure I never missed. She had done everything to make sure I conceived.

I was presently ovulating. This was the perfect time.

"Let’s have sex tonight, Ethan… please."

I hated how desperate I sounded. As if I was begging for something that should come naturally in a marriage. As if intimacy was something I had to earn.

But here I was, pleading for what should have always been mine.

“I want you to get me pregnant. Tonight. Let's try one more time."