I really hope you're enjoying the story so far! I love all your comments and theories as to where we're going to end up! X
They never said they believed me, but the wolfsbane stopped. Food tasted normal again. I canโt push it and ask for anything else yet. Like actual freedom. The bumblebee pendant never leaves my hand. Genevieve and Nikolai continue to come down to the cells, but they arenโt offering me anything other than a life in prison yet. No rumours overturned. Apologies offered. /They are keeping you alive. Who is to say Cillian would have done that. His anger is something I donโt think we can ever overcome./ Nash softly grumbles. It took a few days, but once the wolfsbane eked itself out of my system, Nash reappeared. For the first time, I appreciated his presence, allowing his soothing, warm aura to bring my anxieties down a notch. Nash is pragmatic and realistic, but never doubting in our ability to be a good man. Right now, that means a hell of a lot. We began to spend long hours silently conversing. I tried to discover what he thought of my decisions when I banished him from s
Wren leaving saw a cloud cast over everything. Despite Huli still being insanely perky and the dresses growing sheerer. It didnโt change the fact that Heath was holed up in his royal chamber coughing endlessly. Coughing is a mild term for all the spluttering, hacking, wheezing rattles that came from the other side of his locked door. There are no cute excursions for us now. Nobody is free to show Huli a fascinating lump of marble or a fountain shaped like a peacocks opened tail. The mood of the kingdom is driven by its leader, and right now, every human knows King Heath is fragile. Declining. Judging by the firm lines of his slender body, he has tried to build himself back into health. With no shifter healing, he must have been eating beef and lifting weights for months on end. Dragging himself upwards into a pretence of health. Sadly itโs all collapsing now. We have taken to sitting outside his royal chamber. History book and notepad in hand. Not that Huli writes anything.
โRami? Our little Ramiโฆto save a human?โ Naomi gasps, Finn immediately agreed, both of them scowling. I knew it would go this way. I didnโt bother to argue with Huli about it, mainly so I could stay present. My big sister and Finn match in black vests and dark pants, the bulge of daggers clear against both of their hips. I wore a beige, dress made of long intertwined strips of fabric. Normal in Lanfear, bizarre at home. Alpha Cillian completes our group, his expression as stern as when we accused Sawyer. Followed by guards from the instant we crossed over into the human border, my arrival home had been greeted by one seriously pissed off welcome party. That was before we asked for Ramiโs tender little throat and wolf. Cedric loomed over our conversation, mounted in the silver-clad carriage, a silver-tipped crossbow loaded. Heath shuddered and shook in the back, turning greyer by the second, draped in royal blue. The pure ice of Huli reminds me she is not of this world. โ
Time is eating away at me. Standing idle in the centre of the White Forest castles courtyard in my black hooded cloak is not ideal, but I need a plan. Wren catches up to me, a little out of breath. โNikolai and Genevieve are going to the Full Moon dance tomorrow night. Theyโre going to tell Cillian everything then, so youโll have twenty-four hours to get a head start.โ โAnd the Feast Day-โ struggling to even complete the phrase and all its connotations, โ-is definitely the day after the Full Moon?โ โYes. So we have a little bit of time. Phoebe needs you to be composed. Because youโre not fighting some witch or angry Beta. If her wolf is truly behind all this, then youโre dealing with something far more intelligent than any of us.โ โBut she cannot harm you?โ rubbing my chin in thought. โNot with Dark Arts anyway. She can not affect humans either. It is manipulation of the wolf spirit. The curses and chants force them to abandon the Moon Goddess. To serve a darker force that h
โHeath isnโt going to make it back in time. It needs to happen now. We can see with this moonlight!โ โWhat do you need?โ Cedrics surly voice answers. His cuts the confusion, grounding me into the here and now. Away from seeing my motherโs face morph into pure horror. A different sound to the sickening crunch Matildaโs body made when it smashed into the rocks. For the first time, I must give everything to stop cowering in the darkness. Nobody is going to save me from this. Huli cannot shut me out completely. The roles between us are reversed, and I could never shut her out entirely. Silver would make her be quiet but never fully vanish. It took so much effort to drag myself towards the light. Still so raw, the pain saw me breaking apart. How did Alpha Nikolai ever survive such a torture? โMAMAAAA!โ bleats high and wild, giving me the extra oomph I need to push on. Rami, oh Goddess no. โHEโS WAKING UP! PIN HIM DOWN! NOW CEDRIC!โ โMAMA! FINN!โ squeals out over and over.
Understanding Phoebeโs wolf overpowering her senses made sense in theory. Having to physically witness her slamming a blade into someoneโs chest will be hard to shake off. Naively, my worst fears had been her seducing King Heath. I never thought I would see her grinning, covered in blood, crossbow aimed my way. Sheโs the same girl yet completely different. Down to the bigger hairstyle, the way she stands in the carriage, legs astride in her human-style gown, smirking like a pirate captain. There are just enough seconds to recognise that she stands tall, proud, and ready to murder me because her wolf is that confident and self-assured. Something my Phoebe was never allowed to be. Except none of that really matters because her chocolate eyes suddenly turned wide and vacant. The crossbow fired over my head before Phoebe began clutching at her chest. Falling from the carriage, she lay in a crumpled heap on the grass. Forgetting everything else, I sprint. โPHOEBE! Phoebe, no!โ
โLuna,โ dropping to my knees. โI don't know what you've been told. But if you let me explain-.โ Genevieve raised her hand to silence me. As always, she is grace personified, dressed in gold and cream, her blonde curls gently brushing her cheeks. โDo you know where Nikolai is?โ I glance around, expecting a blow to hit my head, or a gruff insult before coming to my senses, โHe canโt be here! Where is he? Heathโs wolf is too unknown as of yet. Wait, you shouldnโt be here either! My wolf has been removed, I am safe from influence, but I can not protect you, Luna. We should leave right now,โ and stride towards the double doors. โSawyer, Nikolai is on the border. Heโs safe. Practically foaming at the mouth with anger, in fact, I donโt think Iโve ever seen him as testy. But Jane and Wren came to see us, and with what they explained, I didnโt really have a choice.โ "Please, Luna, I would prefer us to have this conversation further away from the castle. If you were to be harmed-โ She sm
It's over. I think, anyway. Iโve never been so tired in my life. Did a convoy of trucks steamroll over me during Genevieveโs extraction? By the end, it felt like Huli was trying to take me with her. The sickly green gunge plunged me into a weirdly lucid dream. I stood alone on an island, fighting to rebuild a stone wall being bashed by white, foaming waves. In the distance, away from the shore, I could see a thundercloud. A miserable, dark, coldness hovering over the ocean. That dark core was whipping up the waves and sending them towards my crumbling, grey-brick defences. My only defence. Chunk flew off, forcing me to sprint up and down the painful, shingle beach to find replacement rocks. Fighting to keep together. I knew, even though Huli said nothing and no instructions were provided. I knew that to give in and allow that wall to break was to give in completely and pay with my life. But against the dark, foreboding thundercloud of Hulilโs hatred, I could feel the sun
Naomi (Continued) โI meant to ask you something,โ Finn murmurs sleepily as we watch yet another shooting star go by. โDid it bother you that we never had a ceremony?โ โNoโฆno it just never felt the right time, then we had been together so long it almost didnโt matter?โ โItโs a shame. Your sisters had all promised to walk together.โ โWe did it for Matilda. If things had gone differently, we would have walked for Eleanor and Rhett, but it all broke apart. I'm just glad we all found happiness, even if it wasn't in the same town square.โ โDid Sia give you an address for Eleanor?โ โYes but I left it alone in the end. She knows where we are. Sheโs made a choice a long time ago,โ I whisper sadly, clutching my Kingโs hand tightly. I know every wrinkle and line in his muscular frame. I could make his replica out of clay in every pose. The feel of his body is a memory I constantly revisit. โI found my memory box the other day when we were packing,โ I add. โI didnโt know you had o
Naomi Itโs been fifty years since we took over as Alpha and Luna this full moon. Fifty years. Time has the cruellest ability to just vanish from underneath your feet. I swear I was a feisty, opinionated, quad-bike obsessed woman in her twenties just the other day. Now, creeping upon me like a riptide, I'm a content, slow-moving little fossil. Iโm his girl, his Queen. He is my King. Now and forever. The quad-bike-revving beast of a man who only ever cares for us. I love the fact Iโm still his girl even as time eats away at our vitality. My hair is no longer fiery red. Iโve conceded to grey. He insists it only makes my brown eyes all the prettier. Iโd blush, except I love every word he says. I still find any opportunity to stand above him and bring my face to his, marvelling at the lack of wrinkles on his relaxed, still-boyish features. Weโre currently down on the very south of the Shadowlands coast, in Finnโs old family home, left to him by his parents. I wonder if all o
*** SEVEN MONTHS LATER*** PHOEBE It is strange when the life you thought you always wanted lands in your lap. Except they donโt feed your soul. I lecture students on human and shifter history. An expert in my bitterly-learned field. The contrasting versions of events. The dangers of automatically believing the only side of the story you have access to. The fact history is always told from the side of the winner. I stride the corridors, my wedding band and bumblebee pendant permanently part of me. But itโs not enough. Jane and Wren are so incredibly kind. The hours I've spent talking through Huli and those momths with them have been cathartic. Even so, they know Rising Star isnโt what I want. Not without Sawyer. Of course, it would have been ungrateful to protest at Alpha Finnโs decision. Two people voted for me to die. Including my own sister. Alpha Finn saved me whilst yanking Sawyer away. Itโs been seven months, yet every night, I lie awake. I think of the same mom
*** 7 MONTHS LATER *** ALPHA FINN โAlpha!โ That fake-serious, minx of a voice forces me to pause. Not ideal when halfway across the Jacksonโs roof, retrieving Ramiโs misplaced arrow. Again. Considering he is meant to be an archery prodigy, he seems to fire it up into that thatched cottageโs eaves with annoying regularity. โThis is your fault, Luna!โ I shout back, fully aware of her laughing from the packhouse. When she sends a bolt of seriously dirty thoughts across our bond, I almost put my foot into the chimney. Thankfully, Diane is with Beta Tucker again, straightening out his boredom-driven drinking via pure seduction. "IT WAS ME!โ Rami adds with glee. Naomi innocently claims the practice targets Rami uses simply must face the Jacksonโs cottage. I donโt argue. Not when my girl slinks around in dark bodysuits that leave my hands twitching to wrap around her waist. I have no arguments, only desires. Any argument she has formulating just vanishes away at the soun
My mouth drops open, but there is nothing to say. Nikolai doesnโt suffer the same issue. โNow just fuck off a minute-โ but Cillian doesnโt even flinch. Zeke and Freya step forward, their eyes wide with surprise. "You haven't discussed this with us?" โLook, my father was never born an Alpha. He rose. He proved himself. Calm in danger, braver than any of his peers. Any Shadowlands Alpha should follow the same route. I haven't. I've made it this far by the skin of my teeth. So I want you all to endorse and support and give your backing to Finn. Alpha Finn Penkov and his Luna, Naomi Kharkov of the Shadowlands.โ The only person to make a sound is Rami, who starts clapping wildly and shouting โKING FINN! King Finn and Prince Rami! Haha, I'm in charge!!โ He doesnโt seem to realise everyone else is in complete shock. Heโs just thrilled his favourite person in the world is getting a promotion. And by default, in his eyes anyway, himself. โDo you accept?โ Cillian says, not really givin
The truck ride certainly gave me time to think. For one, I am eternally grateful Huli was no longer with me. I donโt miss having a wolf. The agony she would have been putting me through had she still held residence in my consciousness made me instinctively reach for my wrist. The only sign of that former life, one that could be years ago instead of just a few months, is a faint, grey scar on my wrist. It used to be so red and angry. Now, it has settled down to almost nothing. Genevieve picked up on it whilst she came to say goodbye. โI know youโre scared.โ โI am. But only because itโs what I deserve.โ โWell, if it helps, Nikolai and I are attending this meeting too. Cillian has asked for Rising Star as well.โ "Oh." That absolutely does not help in any way. It only means Matilda will have even less influence. It makes me think Cillian is preparing to make an example of me. Genevieve has been kind enough to lend me a cornflower blue and white gown. Its swirling blue remi
Nikolai explained, in a much more brutal and dickish way than was necessary, that we only got one night's stay at White Forest Castle. After all, he has sworn to help Alpha Cillian and Zeke, the pair of them bound in a trio of voting and veto. I don't care. We have each other right now. Every day seems to be swinging us to the extremes, and now we are just waiting for the biggest and hopefully final one to go our way. โI think we need to switch our brains off for a while,โ Phoebe sighed, our brown dust-covered bodies flopping onto the bed of our small little room. โI canโt keep thinking about next week. It will drive me insane.โ โCillian could just exile us. Or maybe be so taken up in making Heath pay that we are nothing to him. Matilda will have an influence.โ โI killed my mother and put him, Naomi and Finn into a trance. I stole a childโฆโ โNot you. Your fucking wolf. You were just the vessel,โ I sigh, too weary to go round the grisly roulette wheel. Phoebe rolls herself
Clutching his silver goblet, our nameless, very-well rested hostage was almost chirpy, insisting he had a brother in law in the next town he could call on for a ride. But Sawyer shook his head when the time came to abandon him in the dark. โNoโฆno itโs not right to take this. Can you drop us at the border? Keep the truck.โ โFrom here, your nearest pack is Rising Star?โ โThat works just fine,โ Sawyer replied. Walking through the night, keeping away from the towns and villages, Sawyer found us fresh water to drink, before killing and cooking a fish over a small fire. Iโm probably endlessly naive, but to me, it was a perfect night. Because finally, there was not a single obstruction to just being with Sawyer. The man who patiently explained how you can catch a fish bare-handed. Explaining why he purposely ignored one section of the river, walking another mile upstream. I said nothing when he stripped to his underwear to stand in the shallows. I whooped and laughed instead when
I felt Phoebeโs fear rise at the sight of Cillian. I saw a chance. Our opportunity to finally put things right. I just need him to listen to me instead of immediately heading to decapitation. His wolf's eyes were entirely golden, burning anger at the forefront of his intent. Cillian didn't even attempt diplomacy. No Shadowland envoys to King Heath, not even a personal visit to Bridgend to ask if there was truth in any rumours. Heโs ended up straight here, shifted into wolf form, and shredded his way through at least twenty human men. What if this isn't the first prison he's tried? What will be the fallout from the Alpha's desperation? I couldnโt get Matildaโs cell unlocked in time. The heavy collection of black and silver keys was impossible to gauge. With the gag still in her mouth, Matilda wasnโt coming to our aid anytime soon. Plus, I know how it feels to be obliterated by wolfsbane. Sluggish, dopey. She might not even believe this is even real if theyโve really pum