21. Your Inner Gay

Rhett

Cassian walks in behind me right then, a huge smile on his face as he tosses his keys onto his desk. “Oops. Looks like a fairy exploded in your closet, captain. Personally, I think the sparkle suits you. Brings out your inner feminine side… your inner gay.”

I suck in a sharp breath. “I’m not feminine, and I’m not gay,” I seethe, although the words come out weakly. “I have a girlfriend.”

“Really?” Cassian asks, walking toward me. He puts his hand on my face. My jaw clenches in anger at his words, but my stupid wolf immediately starts to calm down inside my chest. “And you love her, Rhettie bear?”

I pull my face away from his, staring at the ruined, glittery hockey jerseys. “Yes. I do.” It’s a lie. I’ve never loved Savannah, even before this asshole came into the picture; everything with her is just an obligation I need to fulfill.

“Does she know?” Cassian whispers, stepping even closer, his dark eyes mocking me. “Does the perfect little girlfriend know that you like men? Does she know that you kissed a man on a couch last night and liked it?”

“Cut it out, Cassian,” I growl, my voice shaking. “Just shut the fuck up. I didn’t want to, I—”

“Didn’t want to?” He raises his brows at me and scoffs. “You kissed me. Not the other way around, Rhett.”

I don’t say anything because I don’t know how to defend myself when the facts are there, glaring at me. I lost every sense of self-control and now Cassian is going to use that to taunt me. “You kissed me back.”

Cassian shrugs and just laughs, walking back to his side of the room. “Maybe I just like kissing.”

“You’re the gay one, not me,” I say, still struggling to defend myself.

“I never denied that I liked men.”

“Fuck you.”

He winks at me and flips down on his bed. “I know you want to.”

Fuck me. I actually want to.

By the time the next weekend rolls around, I feel invincible simply because I have survived another week of torture with Cassian, which mostly consists of me pretending his comments don’t bother me while desperately restraining my wolf who spends twenty-four hours a day clawing at my chest, begging to be near the guy sleeping five feet away from us. It is exhausting.

My phone buzzes in my hand, snapping me out of my thoughts. It is Savannah.

“Rhett? Where are you? Babe, don’t tell me you forgot,” her voice comes through the speaker, competing with the sound of loud music and shouting in the background.

Truth be told, I completely have. “Uh, no. No, love. Just finishing up some stuff. Where are you?”

“The main quad! The homecoming bonfire started an hour ago. Everyone is already doing the pre-game chants. Hurry up!”

Ten minutes later, I am walking into the chaos of a college bonfire night. There is a massive tower of wooden pallets that is blaring fire into the night sky, throwing orange sparks over hundreds of students who are already completely wasted. Guys from the team are shotgunning beers, girls are laughing and taking selfies, and the freshmen are acting like they’ve never seen fire before. It is juvenile, and exactly what I usually love about college. Tonight, though, it just gives me a headache and I am already regretting leaving my dorm.

“Rhett! Over here!” Savannah calls out, waving her hand from a circle of blankets spread on the grass.

I walk over, putting on my best smile. Matt is there, holding a red solo cup, along with a few other hockey guys and their girlfriends. And right across the circle, sitting casually on a cooler with a drink in his hand, is Cassian.

Great. Just fucking great.

“We’re playing Truth or Dare, captain,” one of the freshmen, Miller, yells out, his eyes glassy. “Sit down and take a shot!”

I sit next to Savannah, letting her lean her head against my shoulder. For the next twenty minutes, the game is just typical stupid college banter. Miller has to flash the crowd by the quad, a girl named Chloe has to drink a mixture of hot sauce and beer, and everyone is laughing like it is the funniest shit on earth.

Then the bottle spins and lands directly on Jacob.

The circle goes a little quiet. Jacob hasn’t been kicked off the team yet officially, he is just suspended indefinitely—the board is still reviewing the petition drama—but the tension between us is obviously still there. He looks at me, a nasty, bitter smile spreading across his face.

“Truth,” Jacob says, his eyes locking onto mine.

“Alright, Jake,” Miller mutters, “Uh… what’s the biggest secret you’re holding right now?”

Jacob chuckles, taking a slow sip of his drink. “My secrets? Nah, my life is an open book. I think the real question is about our captain here. I mean, we all saw practice last week. We all saw the way a certain roommate ran onto the ice to wrap his arms around him. And there’s been a whole lot of other shit between them I’m seeing… damn, that transfer student seems to always protect you.”

The circle goes completely dead silent. Savannah stiffens against my side.

“Jacob, shut up,” Matt warns, his voice dropping.

“What? I’m just speaking the truth,” Jacob taunts, leaning forward, but his voice is loud enough for the neighboring circles to hear. “I’m just wondering how long the captain is going to keep pretending. I mean, having a pretty girl on your arm is a great cover, Reed. But everyone is starting to whisper. We all want to know what’s really going on in that dorm room when the two of you are alone.”

Anger floods my veins instantly, my hands clenching into fists. The urge to shift and rip his throat out right here in front of the whole school is screaming in my head. I can see some of the freshmen looking away uncomfortably, while others are smirking.

“Rhett, don’t listen to him,” Savannah whispers.

I can’t take it. I push myself up from the grass, ignoring Savannah calling my name, and storm away from the bonfire, marching straight back toward the athlete dorms.

Once I get to the room, I slam the door open, kick my shoes off, and start tearing at my clothes as if that will stop the anger building inside me.

Then the door opens behind me.

At first, I think maybe Savannah has followed me because she really can’t take the hint.

But then his cologne… I don’t even have to turn around to know it is him. Cassian shuts the door softly, leaning his back against it.

“He’s a jerk, Rhett,” Cassian says, his voice unusually quiet, lacking his usual sarcastic bite. “Just let it go. He’s just bitter because he’s losing his spot.”

“You’re an even bigger jerk,” I hiss, as I rip my flannel shirt off, throwing it violently onto the floor. I stand there in just my sweatpants, my chest heaving up and down as I glare at him. “If it weren’t for you and your fucking savior complex just to humiliate me, nobody would be talking about that.”

Cassian doesn’t answer me; I’m not even sure if he hears the words. All I know is that his eyes automatically drop to my bare chest, tracing the muscles of my stomach before his tongue darts out to lick his lips—a quick, completely unconscious movement that he probably doesn’t even realize he does.

But I see it.

Fucking hell.

I can’t restrain myself any longer. I find myself closing the small gap between us in two long strides, getting closer than I have ever been. Before he can even open his mouth to say something, I reach out, tangle my hand in the dark hair at the back of his neck, and pull him into a kiss.