Mag-log inJax.He was in the hallway. Of fucking course he was.He looked like he'd just gotten out of the shower himself. His hair was still damp, and he was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that clung to his chest in a way that made my mouth go dry despite everything.He stopped dead when he saw me, and his eyes traveled from my face down to my dress and back up again, and something flickered across his expression. It was too fast for me to identify."You look..." He stopped, jaw clenching. "Nice.""Thanks," I said stiffly, moving past him toward the stairs, and keeping my composure while my heart was hammering very hard, and I hated that just seeing him affected me this much. I hated that part of me wanted to turn around and ask him to tell me not to go, even though I knew he wouldn't. He'd made that abundantly clear last night, and even me, I must go to where I'm headed."Scarlett." His voice stopped me halfway to the stairs.
I peeped the time on my phone and it was 5:03 PM, and my legs were screaming.I'd spent most of the afternoon in my room, alternating between working on my laptop and taking breaks to stretch my sore muscles. Every single time I stood up, my quads were not in support of it, and every time I walked, my glutes reminded me that I'd been a fucking idiot at the gym this morning. But the pain was good. It was grounding. It kept me focused on something other than the growing knot of anxiety in my stomach that's all just cause of one thing, tonight.Mom came around earlier, and by earlier, I mean like... that was one, two, wait, that was three hours ago.She came just a few minutes past 2 PM to ask if I wanted lunch, but I told her that I'd grabbed something when I was out in the gym, which was a big fat lie. I only had a protein shake in my car, and I promised I'd eat dinner, which was another lie cause I'm going out to meet Miles at 7, and I didn't tell her because she'd either make funny
After a little long while of burying myself in workout, I checked my phone, and the time was 8:23 AM. I'd been here almost an hour and a half. Jesus.There were no messages from anybody, which was exactly what I really needed right now. I don't know what I'd do if I saw anybody's name on my screen right now. I'll probably throw my phone across the gym.Oh wait. There's a text from Miles, though, sent twenty minutes ago: "Morning! Just confirming we're still on for tonight? Can't wait to see you :)"The smiley face made something in my chest twist uncomfortably. He was so... earnest, so genuinely excited, so completely unaware that I was using him to prove to my stepbrother that he's a complete fool for pushing me to him.God, I was such an asshole.I typed back quickly, before I could overthink it: "Yes! See you at 7."His response was almost immediate: "Perfect. I'll pick you up?"Shit. I hadn't even thought a thing about logistics, cause him coming to the house meant potential inter
I woke up furious.It was not the slow-building anger that creeps up on you as you remember why you're pissed. No, this was very instant, and it was visceral, the kind of rage that had me throwing off my covers and storming to my bathroom before my eyes were fully open. My jaw was clenched so tight that it ached, and my hands balled into fists, and the whole of my body was vibrating with a fury that had nowhere to go.Fuck Jax. Fuck his noble bullshit about me deserving better. Fuck his hypocritical confrontation about Miles when he was the one who'd pushed me toward this in the first place. Fuck everything about last night.I turned the water on, and the shower was scalding, and it felt like it was painful, literally, but I stood under the spray anyway, letting the heat beat against my shoulders while I replayed the entire scene in my head. The way his face changed when I called him a hypocrite. The way his voice had cracked when he said he hated this. The fucking audacity of tellin
I stared at him, and didn't even know when the words came out of my lips."You're a fucking hypocrite," I said quietly.He flinched like I'd slapped him."You push me toward Miles, tell me to give him a real chance, insist I need to test this thing between us. And now that I'm actually doing it. Now that I'm actually trying to get something done, you've been pushing me toward for weeks, you show up in my room angry about it." I shook my head, and the anger and frustration diffusing from my head to every other part of my body made my chest tight. "You don't get to have it both ways, Jax. You don't get to push me away and then be mad when I actually go.""I'm not—" He stopped, and his hands started running through his hair again, making it stick up in a way that would've been endearing if I wasn't so fucking furious. "Fuck. You're right. You're right, okay? I know I'm being a hypocrite. I know I pushed you toward this. But hearing you on the phone with him, hearing you say you missed h
My heart beat very fast as he said the words from the other end. "I really missed you."The words hung there, heavy and significant, he's clearly wanting me to say them back. My mouth opened, closed, and opened again."I missed you too," I finally managed, and it wasn't entirely a lie. I'd missed having someone appropriate to think about, someone who made sense, someone I could actually have a future with without those faint thoughts that I'd possibly end up destroying my entire family.I just hadn't missed him specifically.We talked for a few more minutes, and he filled me in on more Chicago details most which I barely absorbed, though I was responding as needed and indulging exactly how I should—before he finally said goodnight.The second the call ended, I let my phone drop onto the bed beside me and i pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes.What the fuck was I doing?I knew the answer. I was testing. I was trying. I was doing exactly what I'd told Jax I needed to do, what
I came downstairs and found that the house was quiet. Dad's most probably at work, and my mom was out, either at a charity meeting or at work also. I was alone in the house, which was good because I needed the quiet after that memory and had surfaced during the call with Nina.I decided
He carried me from the glass room to my bedroom.I was still shaking, with my face buried in his neck and clinging to him tightly.My body was already gone and I felt completely boneless. It was a crazy struggle trying to hold myself up at all.He nudged the door open w
I lifted my hips off the bed, and he hooked his fingers fully into the waistband. Both hands. Gripping it carefully and he pulled my shorts down slowly. Teasingly, and revealing me inch by inch.My panties was there. White cotton. Simple, and very Innocent-looking.Except they weren'
I was sitting at my desk with my laptop open and the brand files pulled up on the screen. I was actually focusing now.The memory from breakfast had settled in my head. I was reviewing the video I had been editing a few days ago, the one I could not concentrate on before.I star







