LOGINI responded instinctively, my mind blank, the voices and the anger and the terror silent as I kissed him back. It was everything, it was all I wanted, him and his mouth and his body pressed to mine as he stole my lips. My body rejoiced, on fire, eager, wanting more and more and more, and I gave in. I kissed him, I touched him, I ran my hands up his arms and to his neck.My fingers brushed along the raised scratches on his throat and I froze."Axel," I mumbled, trying to turn my head away from him.He directed my mouth back to his and I struggled away again."Axel, stop."He did, eyes opening as he stopped kissing me, and it took every bit of strength I ever had or ever would have again to push him away.Mental strength, at least. Axel didn't move away from me, but he stopped touching me. He watched silently as I touched my lips with my fingertips and tried to understand what had just happened."What are you doing?" I whispered.His jaw twitched but he didn't answer."Axel, what the fu
I didn't have enough friends for word to spread like wildfire. It spread more like melted wax, dripping and hardening and cracking, the truth burning away until it piled up into a grotesque, uneven lump.Still, Minah's story spread to the few friends I did have. They made sure to tell me how disgusted they were on her behalf, how gracious she was to offer to help me after I'd done so much to hurt her, how selfish and arrogant and creepy I was. Then the messages dried up, my phone stopped vibrating with angry texts and mocking voicemails, and I was alone.I applied for unemployment payments and was rejected. I considered Minah's suggestion of seeing a doctor and rejected that myself. I didn't have that kind of money, and I sure as hell wasn't going to ask Minah for help.I huddled in my basement for a week. The air was hot and sticky, clinging to me, trapping me, enveloping me in spider's silk, but I was so cold. I put on layers of sweaters and buried myself in blankets, sweat dripping
"Is he hurting you?" I whispered."No!" she spat. "He would never. He would never lay a fucking hand on me, understand?"I recoiled, stupidly stunned by the sudden venom in her voice. This wasn't the Minah I knew. This wasn't my Minah, my friend, my roommate, the woman who was beautiful and sweet and peaceful. When had she become... this? When had she turned from my Minah to the crying, angry, shaking woman before me?Worse, why hadn't I noticed?I was supposed to be her friend."You need to tell him," I said. "Minah, you have to tell Axel. You can't just—""Tell him?" She laughed, a sound like crumpled plastic bags, and shook her head. "What, so you can swoop in and comfort him and beg at his feet for him to finally fucking notice you?"I swallowed the pain and shook my head. Pricks of vertiginous numbness swirled through my body, dizziness that overtook the tips of my fingers and toes, shivered up my spine and through my ribs, squeezing my lungs and stomach like a vice.she knowsOf
I slumped low in the seat, only my forehead visible through the window, my eyes following as Blaine walked to his car, got in, and drove away. He didn't notice my vehicle or see me. Still, it took a long, long time before I could peel my fingers away from the steering wheel and open the door, stepping out on legs that knocked together as I walked.When Minah answered the door, she stared at me for a moment. Her lips were still slightly swollen, her hair artfully mussed up around her head."Cecily?""Hi."She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in close. I could smell him on her, the scent of sex, bitter and musky and wrong. She was supposed to smell like Axel, not like Blaine."Come in. I've been so worried about you."I followed her through the house numbly, hardly listening as she spoke. She got me a glass of water and we sat at the kitchen table."How are you feeling?" I asked.She put a hand on her stomach. There wasn't even a hint of a swell of anything there, but she smiled d
I hid in my basement for a week.My boss fired me after I failed to show up three days in a row. He left a message on my voicemail since I refused to answer the phone.Minah called a few times. I didn't answer for her, either. The first message she left was sympathetic."Hey Cecily, it's Minah. Sorry I missed you. Blaine says you two broke up and I just wanted to check in, see how you're doing. I'm so sorry to hear it didn't work out; you seemed so happy together the other night! But you have to do what's best for you. Call me back when you have a sec and let me know you're okay. Love ya."The next one came two days later."Hi Cecily, it's Minah. Just checking in. Blaine seems really upset about the whole breakup and says he can't get a hold of you either. I'm gonna stop by your place later, okay? I'm worried about you."That night, an impatient and annoyed message:"Cecily, it's Minah. I know you're home, I can see you through the window. Can you please answer the door?"The next day
Please don't," I whimpered.The hand on my breast tightened and he shoved his pelvis against me, cock hard and throbbing and angry beneath his jeans."Blaine, stop!" I shouted, and I pushed him as hard as I could.He stumbled back, regained his footing, and the next thing I knew I was on the floor with pain shooting through my jaw. Blaine stood over me, hand hanging in the air like a hawk soars, almost graceful, almost sickeningly elegant as he stared down at me.I looked up, shocked, and touched my cheek."You know, I could be with a thousand other chicks, ones that aren't fucking crazy-ass cunts who live in fucking la-la-land," he growled.Suddenly, he was tugging on my arm, pulling me to my feet, fingers digging into my flesh as I protested. "Instead I have Cecily fucking Larch, useless goddamn poet who doesn't know when to talk and when to shut the fuck up.""Stop," I gasped again.He grabbed my chin, forcing my face to look up at him."I don't want to talk about the fucking baby.
"What?" Properly awake now, I sat bolt upright with horror, immediately noticing two things. One—it was almost dark outside. There was no way I'd only been asleep for half an hour. And two—I was still wearing my shirt and jeans. The shirt and jeans I'd planned to change out of when I went home at t
"I'm—I'm f-fine!" I coughed as the barman sprang into action, his cloth reappearing within seconds, all evidence of my misdemeanour almost immediately blotted away. "Oh G-god!"Oh God, indeed.The Regent Suite?"Just—just went the wr-wrong way," I spluttered helplessly, not sure which fact to be mor
"Roxanne Delaney!" Hoping my use of her full name would impart just the right amount of outraged indignation, I flapped a hand at her. "Go away! Let me eat my lunch in peace.And grimacing at the sound of her laughter as she left, I gave up my half-hearted attempt to eat my sandwich, wrapping it ba
I opened the eyes I'd instinctively closed against the pain, only to blink hard as I stared at my reflection. It couldn't be me. Not really. This girl looked beautiful."Oh yes," I heard Alice say as we all stared, this time her tone rich with approval. It might even have been pride. "Perfect. Cind







