I was right. I just need a break to forget that. I occupied myself about other things, eventually also lost in my mind. And maybe I analyzed my feelings the wrong way. Maybe I was so fond of him, I thought I was starting to develop weird sentiments. It's impossible that I have something for him. For sure it's just the loneliness, to fill the void, I convinced myself so bad.Mommy didn't stop me from spending my break in Ate's house. In Pampanga I spent Christmas and the new year. I received messages from Rustov during those days. I thought that was normal, so I let it go. I didn't reply at his every text, though. Aside from the fact that I don’t always hold the phone, I feel like I need to distance myself from him a bit."What course will you take?" Ate Diana asked while we're eating. It's one of those days Klyde is away for business matters. Though, I’m not convinced of that.I looked at Zach who was straining to reach for the glass of water. I gave him a drink first before answering
"Here's your Sazerac, Miss," the bartender once went downstairs to drink.I turned there. My hand grows cold as I touch the glass. The hammering in my chest was distracting. I knew he would come to me but I tried to ignore you. I sipped on my drink. On my second gulp, a hand suddenly grabbed the glass."What the ..." my voice faded midway.Rustov's unforgiving eyes looked at me with anger etched on it. He looked down at the drink for a moment before it landed and stared at me darkly."What are you doing?" I asked angrily."I think I should be the one asking that, Audrey. Drinking hard liquors alone, seriously?""So what? What if I'm drinking alone? What's the problem with that?"His mouth tightened. He's so pissed now."Let's talk outside," he said sternly, briefly glancing at the bartender.I raised an eyebrow at him."Why are we talking? There's no need for a talk, Rustov."One more than a pulse I got up from the bar stool. With the stiffness of his grip I could not lie down when he
Our friendship was healthy, I thought. In the days that followed we went back to normal. Sometimes, we study in the library together and he shares his knowledge about the topics I find hard. Every Saturday I visit them and we go to the Dales.I didn't deal too much on my negative thoughts. I’m happy when he’s with me and that’s what matters."You did it wrong, Audrey," he said. It's one of those days that he checks to see if I did the assignment right.I sniffed and looked at the sea ahead. For some reason, Dales became our favorite place. Maybe because it's peaceful here."It's hard. I got confused ..." I said."I'll do it. Just study it later," he said."Okay!" I smiled at him.I watched him do that, very seriously. I can't help but admire how he can be so passionate about studies. Until the end, I just focused my attention on him. I watched how his eyes drifted to me after. My heart was pounding. But still, I managed to smile."Thank you," I said."You're welcome."I stood up and t
"What did the woman say to you?" I immediately asked Rustov when he returned to the table with our food.Pure grilled and dish there, with pork and chicken barbeque. He landed some mango juice for me and water as well. I watched him as he put all the necessary things in our table. When he finished, he placed the tray in the adjacent container."It's just nothing," he replied."She's pretty. Do you know her?"He turned to me, his gaze weighing. His lips protruded a bit as he shook his head."Did she want you to join them? Or maybe she asked for a number?"He smirked."She asked for my number," he admits.I fell silent and the taste was bitter. But I think that's normal. He's attractive, it's only natural that there are women who spontaneously approach him, including those hot and mature girls."Then? You gave it to her?""Did you see me scribble my number?" His brow shot up.I fell silent. If in matter. But ..."Maybe you gave your facebook account or something, since it's more accessi
The thought of the kiss is stirring my mind, giving me a hard time to think straight. In grief and anger, I stepped fast, almost running. I walked away from the tents, walking straight away from the quadrangle until I reached the row of kiosk benches. Quiet and no one there.It was unreasonable to get mad, right! But I still couldn't help but get angry. He didn't want the kiss, I consoled myself. He wasn't even expecting it on the first place. But my irrationality is prevailing because of too much anger for everything that happened.And that bitch! The courage to kiss her even if she's not her boyfriend!But he isn't your boyfriend too, Audrey. So why are you angry?I closed my eyes and cursed. What now? I'm not straying too far from the boundaries like what that girl did! The thickness of the kiss looks like he doesn't want to!"Audrey!"I panicked when I heard his voice. I didn't have to look back to make sure he was following me. I quickly went to the kiosks, intending to go to any
Lots of people in the quadrangle we went down, high school students mostly. Though, there are also colleges. Some were even watching us from the corridors of the buildings. Someone yelled my name like a signal and they created a pathway for me. In the middle I saw Daryl, a grade twelve who was also famous at school.I didn't feel anxious or anything. It just didn’t happen once. For some reason, the boys from the high society here tend to love surprises like this. Also because maybe most women like such gimmicks. But I just don't feel anything for this kind of stunts. So to finish it, I walked over to Daryl.He was holding a huge bouquet of flower with his friends at his back holding balloons and raising a banner with "Will you be my date?" written on it.Everyone around shouted. I love surprises. But I appreaciate it better if it's not in the eyes of public. It used to be like this to me, they just want to show off. And when the answer is right, they'll feel like they got the trophy t
Staring at him deeply, little by little, I slowly began to understand everything. I rejected him not because I don't like him on that level. I was afraid. I was so afraid to break my own principles. I was afraid that I might end up being enslaved by my emotions. I was afraid I'd end up getting consumed by that feeling. I put him on the pedestal because that’s what I think is right. I let my mind control everything that I ended up lying to myself.I'm afraid that once I gamble, I won't be able to give up. Because now, I realized I am very, very infatuated with him. And I fear the fate of how I feel. Because this time, I know I can't hold back anymore. I couldn't even hold it when I was still in denial, how much more now that I finally accepted that I do like him?"You chose your clothes?" Rustov asked as he raised his hand behind my back. I shivered when I felt the warmth of his hand against my bare skin."Mommy did ..." I said almost mutely."Are you comfortable with it, though?"I co
"You did well ..."I sniffed and held back a smile. I averted my face and looked out to sea. It was Friday, so we had a little time to talk. We headed straight to the Dales after class. Though, I got conscious thinking that maybe he noticed how tensed I was during the oral defense."Really?" my sarcastic question.He nodded, suppressing a smile."Your smirks made me feel like you were secretly mocking me.""I wasn't ... I was just ... amazed."I raised an eyebrow at him and ambushed him to stand but he just pulled me closer to him. Now I'm sitting in between his legs. He was behind me as I was slightly tilted."Don't lie to me. I was so nervous before! I'm sure I didn't look amazing at all! Maybe you're silently making fun of me in your head!"He laughed and shook his head."And what, your question is just simple! I told you don't be easy on me. I want it harder!""Harder?" he echoed softly."Yes! Why, don't you think I can handle it, huh?"Her eyes darkened, there was a ghost of a sm