Ruthless Addiction

“Are you really sure in what you’re about to do, Juli?” Kate, my cousin and number one confidant, asked me for the nth time.

I sighed, stopped packing my clothes, and turned to look at her.

“I need this. Jacques needs a better school and a better place to live in. You know an office job in a small town is nothing compared to that in a big city. Besides… it has been four years. It feels like a long time ago I don’t think I’d ever meet him again, or that he would recognize me.”

Though the truth is, I’m also afraid of the possibilities. But I can’t risk Jacques’ life in this small town. I don’t want him to feel like I am hiding him from the world. And I also need a job with higher salary to sustain our needs. I can only find that in the city.

“But what if, Juli? What will you do?”

I shook my head. “That’s not possible, Kate. That type of man doesn’t take women seriously. He probably had one night stands for the past years, and had a lot of hidden kids. He won’t recognize me, I’m sure. But then, to answer your what if… if he would ever know about Jacques, I don’t think he’d have interest on him. His kind doesn’t like commitment nor ready to take the responsibility as a father.”

“You slept with him just for once, Juli. You don’t know him personally so how would you be so sure?” She raised a brow at me.

“I didn’t know him personally alright, but I worked for him in his company. I heard so much rumors about him. He’s ruthless. He fires people mercilessly even for small mistakes. I just don’t understand why of all people he was the one I slept with.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Maybe because you liked him secretly before.”

I glared at her.

She smirked. “I mean, I didn’t see him in person but I’ve seen him in internet, magazines and even in TV. That man is hot, Juli. I’m sure his employees are drooling at him whenever he walks around.”

“I can only imagine,” I said sarcastically and went back to what I was doing.

My decision is already final and I don’t think anyone can change it now. Ethan Ambrose is from a different world. What happened four years ago was just an accident. We shouldn’t have touched each other’s lives. New York is a big city. I’m pretty sure I won’t suddenly bump on him in the street. That’s too much of a coincidence, which is not possible.

Kate sent us to the airport that night. She wants to go with us actually, but she can’t leave since she’s expecting her long time boyfriend to arrive this weekend. He’s in navy and has been away for months. She gave me so many advises and I just grinned at her the whole time. She’s the only family I have and the same to her that’s why we always have each other’s back no matter what the odds are.

I’m so glad that I have her. Four years ago, when I found out that I was pregnant, I got depressed and I really thought it was the end of me. Imagine, I was only twenty that time. I was a new intern in Ethan’s company. I expected that as the starting point of my career since that is really a big company. Then suddenly in a blink of eye, I lost everything I had, even my dreams.

Well, that was what I thought that time. When I gave birth to Jacques, I didn’t think about all of that anymore. I loved him with all my heart. He became my reason to live and there’s not even a second that I wished I didn’t have him. Jacques is my angel.

Sometimes I think that maybe it was really Heaven’s will to give him to me. He’s such a blessing and I learned many things I didn’t know before. I learned to be a better person. And I felt that feeling I’ve never felt before. That feeling of being home. And I don’t know what I will do if I ever lose Jacques.

I’ve already settled everything before coming to New York. Kate’s boyfriend, Ivo, has relatives in New York and they have apartments for lease. I rented one, and I’ve been accepted in a company I applied to. It’s not as big as Ethan’s, but definitely bigger than the companies I worked for in that small town we lived in. The salary is not worth a fortune but more than enough to get by. I’m just starting anew anyway. I’m open for opportunities that may come. As long as it has nothing to do with Ethan Ambrose, I will certainly take it.

Our first days in New York went smoothly. When I started working, I hired a nanny for Jacques since most days I need to have overtime at work and I won’t be able to attend to him. Before, Kate was the one who took care of him whenever I wasn’t around, but now that there are only the two of us, I needed to hire somebody else to look over him.

Jane is just two years younger than me. Ivo’s aunt referred her to me, and in a week that she’s been staying with us, I can say that she’s pretty good at handling Jacques. At first, I didn’t want to trust Jacques to a stranger but I can’t let him stay in the house in his own. He’s just a four year old kid, after all.

“I can’t believe it, Juli!” Rachel, my co-worker exclaimed. “How did you do that, huh? The director himself transferred you to the R&D Department, and take not you’ve been here for just a couple of weeks!”

“Yeah right. I can’t help but be envy too. But then you really have a brilliant mind, Juli. I’m surprised you just worked in small companies for the last four years since you worked as an intern in AMC,” another co-worker said.

They were all astonished that I was told by the director myself that I will be transferred to the Research and Development team because of a proposal I submitted. It was a big opportunity and I feel really blessed.

The R&D team was also friendly so I didn’t have a hard time in adapting. That was my life for the next few months, and all were good so far. The company launched a new product that I proposed, and everything was doing great. Until such thing happened.

“An important guest will watch the demo. He’s a friend of Mr. Smith and a big shot in business industry, so I want everything to be flawless later,” Miss Anne, the head of our team said.

Everyone was so excited and so am I. It was a product I personally made anyway, so I was really overwhelmed. It’s a new food product, and it would be imported in different countries once all the necessary judgments are done. Though the director promised that we have the go signal, but we still need to see if it has really a good impact to the company.

All in the team was busy. I was already in my white lab coat, my hair tied up neatly, and all the things are already set. Soon, important people in the company arrived. We greeted all of them, and most of them showed me a good gesture. I was smiling and saying my thank yous, when someone announced the arrival of our president and the important person he invited.

I smiled as I saw the president, but my smile quickly faded when I saw the man who passed the door after him. I froze. My heart was beating hard and loud. I almost forgot how to breathe.

It was Ethan Ambrose.

In his black three piece suit and tie, clean cut, and sleek black shoes, he stood out in that room. The dominance and power in his air was unmistakable. Even if I haven’t seen him for years and I didn’t look for news about him, I know. I’m sure. There’s no way I can forget the only man I slept with and the father of my child.