Darwin caught her upper arms, not tightly, gently, letting his thumbs brush over the soft cotton of her robe, feeling her arms tense beneath. He deepened the kiss, opening to her tongue, meeting her with his, tasting the sweetness of her and memorizing it as best he could.
They backed together toward his bed, and he shivered. It had been a long time since heād been able to take his time with her. Tonight, Darwin intended to do just that. He broke the kiss and backed up, looking at Sonya in the dim light of his dying fire.
Sonya smiled, just the slightest expression, and Darwin was lost. He was hers, heart and soul. He never wanted to be anyone elseās. But he squashed that thought and instead reached out to untie Sonyaās robe.
When he parted the fabric, he gasped. She was naked beneath. Utterly, beautifully and completely naked.
āSonya? Darlingā¦ā he groaned.
She smiled again.
āIf I found the courage to knock on your door, I couldnāt leave without having you. I knew I couldnāt. If you refused, this was to be my ammunition.ā
āI canāt refuse you,ā Darwin whispered as he leaned in to brush his lips along the column of her throat. āYou should know that by now. Even when I should, I canāt.ā
Sonya shuddered when Darwin pushed her robe away, but as soon as her arms were free, she lifted them around his neck, leaning into him with a shuddering sigh. Surrender was in her body, on her lips, in her taste, and Darwin took it gladly.
āWonāt Florence notice youāre gone?ā he asked.
Smiling, she shook her head.
āSheās asleep. I canāt talk about her now. Later, later we must. But right now, I want you, Darwin. You and only you. I want you to make the rest go away.ā
His eyebrow wrinkled, for there was a soft desperation to her words, her tone, her expression. And it mimicked his own. Like Sonya, he wanted to forget everything else, all the decisions he had to make. She was the only one capable of such a thing.
So, Darwin shut down his mind, shut down his arguments, and kissed her once more. Everything else was silent. Silent as he tasted her, molding her to him by gliding both his hands to the curve of her naked backside.
Silent when he somehow forced a space between them to unbutton his shirt.
Silent when she shed that same shirt and stared at his bare chest.
āThe first time I saw you like this,ā Sonya whispered, staring at the plane of muscles, āI wondered if you were real. I wondered what I had done to deserve you wanting me.ā
Darwin laughed softly.
āYou deserved it by being extraordinary and undeniable. By being Sonya Redwood.ā
Sonya lifted her gaze to his face.
āI want to give you pleasure, Darwin. I want that so muchā¦ā
āYou already have, my love,ā he assured her, reaching up to touch her face with the back of his hand. āEvery time I look at you, touch you or taste you, it is pleasure beyond imagining.ā
āNo⦠Not like that,ā she said, her cheeks flaming. āA different kind of pleasure.ā
His eyes widened.
āSonya, are you saying you want toā¦ā
She nodded even as she made a strangled sound.
āI want to taste you too...ā
He swallowed hard. Most ladies did not wish such a thing. But this was no average lady. This was sweet and passionate Sonya, who, as Florence had said, led with her heart in all things. Gave of herself completely... And he selfishly wanted to take. To let everything good about her bleed into his empty spaces until he was somehow whole again.
Darwin let his trembling hands drop to his trouser waist and unfastened the rough fabric. She slid her hands beneath, her hands warm on his flesh. He hissed out pleasure as she shoved the trousers away and left him as naked as she was.
*****
Sighing, Starlight closed the book and stared blankly into space for a few seconds. Then, she shook her head.
āOh, God⦠Iām such a masochistā¦Why in the hell do I keep reading these stories? There are no such men in this day and age⦠There are no⦠āDarwinā types out there⦠only men who take selfishly, without giving⦠or men with little penisesā¦ā
Starlight sighed and put the book aside, on the table, and saw her blue bra on the armrest.
āAnd thisā¦?ā
She couldnāt even remember taking it off. At this point, going around the house braless was as close to rebellious as Starlight had been in almost a decadeā¦
And so was reading her fourth extra passion romance novel in a row, barely emerging from the nest of quilts sheād dragged to the comfy rocking chair in front of the now-dying fire.
No makeup, no expectations, no worriesā¦
Her first day as Starlight Maxwell all over again⦠āStarlight Maxwell 2.0.ā
And the first day of her new life was pretty damn good.
When she was done reading, she could dig through her suitcase for āGreat Scottā, her faithful vibrator, and some quality āme timeā. Or she could stay up reading ravaging steamy love novels all night long.
For the first time in her life, there was no one to stop her from doing whatever the hell she wanted. And knowing that was absolutely... awesome.
She glanced at the old clock over the mantel. Right now, her ex-husband, Daniel, and the new Mrs. Evans, Georgina, were probably sipping umbrella drinks on some beach somewhere in Bermuda⦠That if heād actually taken a vacation. But knowing Georgina, she wouldnāt have given him a choice.
Starlight burrowed into her quilts and placed the book on the table, near a huge pile of other books to read. Her evening would be far more satisfying than a night with Daniel and his tiny little⦠āpee-peeā.
Penis size aside, Daniel had no stamina and had never taken an active interest in giving her pleasure. She had always waited for him to head to the shower before finishing things off right with her wonderful, magical, black love machine⦠she called so fondly āGreat Scottā...
For as long as she was married, Daniel and āGreat Scottā had never crossed paths. Daniel had no idea āGreat Scottā even existed. And what a relief that was. No judgments, no āHow could you do this? Am I not enough for you?ā speechesā¦
She drained hot chocolate from her large āRudolf the Reindeerā mug and stood, padding across the wooden floor in her socks and slippers to restart the Frank Sinatra album.
Maybe it was wrong that she was in such a good mood, newly divorced and absolutely alone on Christmas⦠but she was. She wanted to be happy. And right now, Mr. Sinatra, stimulating romance novels, and copious amounts of hot chocolate were all she needed to be happy. And, maybe later, Mr. āGreat Scottā.
Starlight picked up āLove Me Foreverā, the fourth romance book she was just reading, and glanced at the back blurb and its tantalizing promise of āHot! Hot! Hot! Eroticism on every page!ā with a sigh.
āWell⦠If this is what it takes to set the right mood for my encounter with Great Scottā¦ā
But a slight movement from out the large picture window caught her eye. Starlight froze, a prick of fear running down her spine.
A man stood on her front porch railingā¦
A big manā¦
So tall she couldnāt see his head or shoulders as he reached for something on the roof.
She edged closer to the fireplace and the brass poker resting against the wall. She might be alone, but she wasnāt helpless. Starlight gripped the poker and made her way closer to the window.
Well, the man wasnāt armed, he had no weapon... He had a large coil of Christmas lights hanging around his shoulder. A thief hanging Christmas lights? She didnāt drop the poker, but her hit-first-ask questions-later instinct wavered.
Something about a man hanging Christmas lights brought the threat level down. Starlight lowered her weapon, watching as the man moved along the porch railing with ease, threading the heavy strand of lights on unseen hooks.
Man, he was fastā¦
But why was he there, working so hard to decorate her house? He must run one of those decorating services. Maybe he was at the wrong house? She should stop him before he got too far.
Starlight wrapped a throw around her shoulders and pushed through the front door, still holding her brass poker. A blast of cold air cut through her sweats and the thermal underwear beneath.
Shit, shit, and, once again, shit!
Sheād forgotten how damn cold Montana could get this time of the year. She hurried across the porch but stopped a few feet from the man on the railing. His leather jacket rode up as he worked. And his stomach...
āDarwinā¦?ā she thought, thinking of the male character of the love novel she was reading. āOh, Star, get a hold of yourself!ā
She swallowed hard.
āDear Lord, what a fantastic viewā¦ā
The man stretched, exposing more actual flesh than sheād seen in oh-so-long. And it was amazing. The kind of amazing even the best romance novels would have a hard time capturing.
Cut⦠Hard⦠All man.
Every cleft and ridge of his six-pack was on display. His jeans hung low enough to reveal the edge of his hips. Just looking at him made her light-headed.
Stunned⦠Excited⦠Achy in all the right places.
āThis man could put Great Scott to sleep foreverā¦ā
Something deep inside her turned molten and fluid. Her fingers twisted in the throw around her shoulders as her gaze followed the impressively dark happy trail that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans.
What sort of surprises would be found underneath the skintight, faded jeans that clung to this manās hips?
Starlight swallowed, her imagination offering up all sorts of possibilities. She was oh so tempted to touch that stomach. Which was wrong⦠And completely unexpected. Sheād never ever do something so irrational but...
Oh, man⦠all that muscle and strength, the dark lines of a tattoo peeking wickedly from under the edge of his shirt, had her utterly captivated.
What would it be like to touch a man like this?
Better yet, what would it be like to have him touch her?
A shiver racked her body. Daniel had very specific preferences in bed⦠namely, her lying still beneath him, quiet, aching for something more. Wanting something... more.
More... like this.
She pressed her hand against her stomach and the delicious flare of liquid heat that coiled inside her. Maybe all that reading was getting to her. This man wasnāt supposed to be here⦠He might even get in trouble for being here if he was hired to decorate another house.
Starlight stepped closer, surprised to hear him humming āTis the Season to be Jollyā. The sound was deep and rough, an undeniable turn-on.
āSir⦠Excuse me?ā she said. āI think thereās been a mistake. You are decorating the wrong house.ā
Her phone was ringing. When it had started, Elijah didnāt know. And, at the moment, he didnāt even care. But the ringing sent Starlight into a tailspin, smoothing her tangled hair into place and holding her sweater closed. He frowned, reaching for her, trying to process what heād heard. She loved him? She loved him, and he was staring at her like an idiot. She answered her phone.āHey, Megs.ā Elijah wasnāt prepared for the anxious look in her eyes. Or the uncertainty on her face.āHeās here,ā she replied to his cousin. āHis key doesnāt work.ā She paused, then nodded. āOkay⦠Iāll send him down.ā Did she seriously doubt how he felt? Because heād be happy to fix that⦠now. Elijah waited as she hung up the phone.āYou need to go⦠Your mother needs you now,ā she said, brushing past him into her bathroom. āDonāt forget to have your key fixed.āāStar⦠Darlināā¦āāBaby, tonight is about Jeremy and Anna⦠We can waitā¦ā Starlight murmured.āYou
When they arrived on floor seven, Elijah brushed past her, eager to get to his room and take a very cold shower. But Starlight followed him down the hall until he reached his room. She went around him, to the door next to his.āWell⦠Looks like weāre neighbors,ā she said, smiling his way. He nodded stiffly, trying not to think about the fact that sheād be so close. His hands fumbled with his card key, dropping it. Starlight smiled and disappeared into her room.āDammit,ā he growled, picking up his key and resting his forehead on the hotel room door. Sheād gone off to California and hung out with firemen? And did tequila shots? And who knows what elseā¦! And then she came back wearing⦠what she was wearing. Elijah adjusted himself, his erection pressing against his already fitted pants. He tried his key. It didnāt work.āWhat the hellā¦ā He tried again. Still nothing. Elijah punched the wall.āDammit!ā he bit out, then stared at her door.
Starlight smoothed her hands over her hair and straightened the tie on her sweater. Her skintight black pencil skirt, clinging cream wrap-sweater and tall black boots hadnāt been the most practical traveling outfit, but it had definitely drawn a lot of attention her way. Hopefully, it would have the same effect on Elijah. Heād been right all along⦠They really needed to talk. And even though sheād shut him down, Starlight hoped heād give her another chance⦠Being vulnerable was something she avoided at all costs. And Starlight was nervous as hell. The last five days had been good for her but not great. Kara had been a truly generous host and friend, showing her the sights of San Diego, the coastal beauty, and the friendly people. Thereād been a lot of laughing, a lot of drinking, and too many late nights talking about what they wanted out of life. Starlight hadnāt wanted to bring up Elijah. But Kara had asked.āāTalk to me about him⦠Iāve been dy
Starlight finished cleaning up the cups of cocoa, empty bowls of popcorn, half-eaten cookies, and candy cane wrappers. Meghan busied herself straightening the pillows and putting the television cabinet back to rights. And Elijah was asleep in the recliner in front of the fire. Heād dosed off halfway through the movie and had been snoring softly ever since. Every time Starlight brushed past him, she hesitated. āAre you ready for tomorrow?ā Meghan asked. Tomorrow⦠California⦠Going away⦠She hoped, with time and distance, she could finally let go of Elijah. She couldnāt exactly start over if she was holding on to the past. āNot quite.ā āWhat time is your flight?ā Meghan asked again. āSeven thirty,ā Starlight answered. āOn Christmas Day?ā Meghan frowned. āYou could have waited.ā āI didnāt know how depressing this year would be,ā Starlight admitted, sitting at the kitchen table. āNot as bad as you thought it would be?ā Meghan suggested.
Starlight stretched, feeling all sorts of aches and pains. All of her right side was covered in bruises. She groaned, going limp against the sheets. Everything ached. āThatās gotta hurt,ā Elijah said, standing in the doorway. āIt does.ā āI brought you something.ā Elijah sat on the edge of the bed, offering her some pain pills and a glass of water. āGod⦠Best present ever.ā She sat up and took the pills, aware that his eyes were fixed on her bruises. āI know it looks badā¦ā He winced, shaking his head. āYou were extremely lucky. Unless your carā¦ā Starlight wanted to reach for him. She loved the concern that creased his face. And hated herself for it. Sheād lied to him last night. And she would keep lying to him. He didnāt need to know she was coming to him. Or that she loved him. Or that the way she felt, how overwhelming it was, scared her. She didnāt want to be scared⦠to hurt. Seeing his face in the hospital room,
Starlight turned the moment Meghan was entering the room. Her face was pale. āAunt Hazel calledā¦ā she whispered. āElijah?ā Starlight asked, already knowing the answer. Meghan took her hands. āHeās okay, sweetie.ā āWhat happened?ā she asked, her voice trembling. āDonāt freak out, okay? He was stabbedā¦ā āWhat?! No!ā Starlight yelled. āHeās in stable condition.ā Meghan hurried to the door. āWhere is he?ā Starlight asked. āSaint Croix Hospitalā¦ā she said then paused. āBut... EJ said for you not to come.ā Starlight frowned. āOhā¦ā āI need to take Aunt Hazel. She canāt drive on the ice, too jumpy,ā Meghan replied, hugging her. āIāll let you know as soon as I know more.ā āOkay,ā she whispered, feeling numb. After closing the door, Starlight stood still, like a statue. The man she loved was hurt⦠But he was stable enough to tell her not to come. Starlight hugged herself, hating how cold she felt. āIf he doesnāt want me there,
Elijah woke to Christmas songs, laughter, and singing. It took a minute to understand where he was⦠He groaned⦠This was Starlightās bed, alone, covered in blankets. A shout of laughter made him grin. Starlight and Meghan, from the sounds of it. He kicked back the blankets, ran a hand through his disheveled hair, and glanced at the clock. Elijah covered his face with his hands and groaned again⦠It was almost 6:00 p.m. He had an hour before he needed to be at the station. Elijah turned on the bedside lamp and stretched. It had been a long time since heād slept a solid five hours without waking. It made sense that heād done it in Starlightās bed. It was the one place he could truly relax and just⦠breathe. He glanced around the room, taking in the many changes made by her and Meghan. The pom-pom and trophies were gone⦠The walls were bare. Even the curtains had been pulled down. Swallowing hard, Elijah remember
The next day, Meghan came over and helped her weeding through her old things. It wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. There were three large boxes that she and Meghan tackled together. But there wasn’t much. Mostly pictures and keepsakes gathered from before her father had left them. Nothing from her high-school years, or her life with Daniel… They hauled the boxes onto the front porch.“I can call James…” Meghan offered. “My brother has a truck.”“No, Megs… After what I did at the party... I can’t keep leading your brother on.”“Girl, you just kissed him under the mistletoe,” Meghan said, nudging her. “I didn’t see tongue, or groping…” Starlight laughed.“Be
“Okay, dude,” Edward said, “tell us what the hell did you do… We’re here for you… So, start talking…” Elijah took a deep breath.“Remember our breakup?” he asked.“The one where you were basically catatonic for a year?” Edward asked. “Yeah, good times… Fun times!” Elijah flipped him off.“That was a hell of a long time ago.” Jeremy crossed his arms over his chest.“I know we were kids, but I really loved Starlight. I mean… she was my everything. Losing her was a nightmare. I believed we were forever. It felt like it would be. But if you love someone like that, you have to put them first, right?”