CHAPTER FORTY - ONE

LORENZO GRAYSON\ VADIM KERZHAKOV ©

I should have known better. Things shouldn't have gone that far with him. He was my student, a very young student. He was off limits.

What was I doing?

How could I risk him by putting my own desires first before his safety?

He was young, but whenever we were together, all that didn't matter.

Just because I cared about him didn't mean I should put his life in danger because of my feelings.

How was I supposed to protect him?

Nick didn't even have anyone. He was the one protecting his little sister.

How was I supposed to protect him when Antonio finally came after me?

He would hurt the people I cared about first, and that included Nick.

I really needed to stay away from him.

I needed to keep my distance for his own safety.

Nick Walker.

I wondered how he walked into my life and how I ended up letting myself get so close to him.

Now, he was someone I couldn't ignore.

I just needed to pull myself together and fix whatever was going on between us.

I palmed my face as I remembered driving past him while taking Alina home when the rain was about to begin. He probably would have gotten home late to Mira.

“What are you thinking about?” Kyle asked as I slowly took a drag from my cigar.

I returned to Kyle's bar after dropping Alina at her home. Vanya was still here, staying back at Kyle's bar. She wouldn't stop following me around.

“He's obviously thinking about the kid,” Vanya said, and I stayed quiet.

“Kid?”

He paused.

“You mean my worker, Nick?” Kyle asked, looking at me.

“Yeah. Your worker is messing with Enzo's head,” Vanya said, and I sighed.

“I'm leaving,” I said, putting out my cigar in the ashtray before standing up.

“Woah. The bar is just getting interesting. I'll be back,” Vanya said as she pushed me back into my chair.

“Hands off me,” I warned her.

She rolled her eyes before leaving Kyle and me alone in the VIP room.

Kyle only drank from the glass in front of him. He didn't say anything, but I knew he had a lot to ask.

“What do you have to say?” I asked.

He stayed quiet for a moment before finally speaking.

“What is going on between you and Nick?” he asked as I flicked the lighter in my hand.

“Nothing,” I replied.

“Well, it doesn't look like nothing. One day you're close to this kid, then you treat him like trash the next day,” Kyle said.

I flicked the lighter off, hiding the anger on my face.

“What?” I asked and he leaned back into the chair.

“He isn't some game you can play with,” he said while drinking from his glass.

“I mean, this is the first time he's actually opening up to someone,” he added.

“Who says I'm playing with him?” I asked.

“I treat him like trash?” I repeated and scoffed.

“I tried to…” I held myself back and sighed.

“I can't get close to him. You know that, Kyle. I can't care for him. I can't protect him,” I finally admitted.

“I shouldn't have gotten closer to him. He's still a fucking teen,” I whispered.

“If you lose him, you'll lose yourself again, just like before,” Kyle said and my breath got caught in my throat.

I understood what Kyle meant.

When I moved here after everything I went through with Antonio, I couldn't find myself. All I wanted was to find my mother's killer.

But that day...

“You should be in jail for murder. I have no idea how you ended up here, pretending to be a professor.”

He was the one person who challenged me and walked away without getting hurt.

“I have to. I have to lose myself to save him from everything around me,” I said before standing up.

Just then, the door opened and a group of strippers walked in with Vanya following behind.

“This is a sight to see, isn't it, Vadim?” Vanya said.

I ignored her and walked toward the door.

“What? You're leaving? So you're really into young kids now?” she said and scoffed.

Her words immediately stirred my anger.

I grabbed her by the neck and tightened my hands around her neck.

Kyle stood up to stop me, but he sat back down when he saw the look I gave him.

“Vanya,” I called softly.

“We really should mind the way we speak, shouldn't we?” I asked, giving her a warning look.

She gripped my coat and I took it as an agreement before letting her go and left the room.

∆∆

~ COLLEGE ~

On my way to college, Mira suddenly came to my mind.

I didn't think twice before getting out of the car and walking into a store.

I bought chocolates and several other snacks, filling the basket.

I knew she would happily accept all of it. But Nick wouldn't.

He wouldn't accept anything from me.

I sighed and looked away from the bags.

I moved my focus back to the computer as I recorded students' scripts. I had been engulfed with so much work because the exams were approaching.

Then the door opened and the last person I expected stood there.

Nick.

“What are you doing here?” I asked and returned my attention back to the computer.

He stayed silent and I released a sigh.

“I'm busy. Can you leave?” I asked.

Just then, my computer went off.

I looked up and saw the computer unplugged.

“What on earth are you doing?” I snapped.

“I need you to tell me you hate me,” he said and I raised a brow.

“What?”

“Tell me you hate me, and I'll leave. I'll remember that there is nothing between us anymore,” he said and I covered my face with my hand.

“Plug the computer back in. I'm too busy for this,” I told him.

“I just need you to answer me,” he said.

I sighed and focused on the papers on the table.

“Enzo,” he called.

“Nick,” I called his name firmly before letting out a breath.

“Leave while I'm asking nicely,” I said and continued working.

He grabbed the papers from the table and threw them across the room, running a hand through his hair.

“What on earth are you doing?” I yelled, standing up.

“Are you going to answer me now?” he asked.

I grabbed his shoulders, forcing myself to hold back from hitting him.

“Fvcking leave my office,” I said, looking directly in his eyes.

“Not until you answer me,” he replied.

And then he did the unexpected, he grabbed my shirt and kissed me.

I tried to pull back but he gripped my shirt tight.

“Stay away from him.“ I heard the voice in my head say.

“Please, Enzo.“ Nick said softly as he pulled away from me. His voice was shaking like he was going to cry.

At that moment, I couldn't think of anything but him.

"I don't hate you. I can't bring myself to hate you." I said to him as I held his face and leaned down to kiss him.

This time I deepened the kiss. I grabbed him closer by the waist as I sat him down on the arm of the couch.

All of this might be a mistake, but I didn't mind making the same mistake over again.