She thought of Lowell’s ashes, packed away in the tin that functioned as an urn and sat in the center of her bookshelf back in London. And of the promises she’d made, to him and to herself. That she would let him go into the wind, the water.
The least she could do was honor the man he might’ve been, had he made different choices, or been stronger against his own demons. And she knew that she needed closure too.
“Something like that,” she said now, not quite meeting Andrey’s eyes.
“Such depravity…”
His tone was taunting. And it hit hard, though she should’ve been impervious to him.
“A word you know well, Mr. Romanoff,” she snapped.
Unwisely. Everyth
Addison woke to sunshine on all sides. It streamed in the open windows of her room, bathing her in light and the sweet, fragrant breeze. It felt like some kind of blessing, chasing away what shadows remained from the long night before. She stretched on the soft mattress and told herself she was fine now. Fully restored. Andrey’s touch, his words, that fire that only seemed to build between them… it was all part of the past. With a slight smile on her lips, she rose from her bed and dressed slowly choosing a loose and flowing pair of linen trousers and paired them with a strappy black vest. Then she swept all of her hair up into as sleek a ponytail as was possible in this climate. Addison slipped on a pair of sandals and stepped outsi
She had the oddest sense of déjà vu for a moment and then it came to her. Andrey was talking to her like she was a person. Not as his employee, but as another human being. Someone he actually knew. The last time he’d done this, he’d teased her in just this way. They’d smiled, told stories, shared parts of themselves over small dishes of food and large glasses of wine. Or she’d thought they had.“I’m not here to play games,” she said quietly, hoping he couldn’t hear the unevenness in her voice, that clash between what was good for her and what she really wanted. “I’m here to be your Executive Assistant. The only other offer on the table was to be… your dog on a leash. Isn’t that what you said? Is that what you’d prefer?” Hi
She tasted the way he remembered. Even better. So hot and good and so his. Andrey’s arms came around her, pulling her against him, into him, needing to feel the weight of her breasts against his chest, the softness of her belly against the thrust of his hardness, the gentle swell of her hips against his. He kissed her again and again, reveling in the punch of it. And Addison met him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her mouth moved against his with the same urgency, the same demand. Andrey thought she said his name. He wasn’t sure he could speak or if he did, what language he might use, or if it would all come out as nonsense. He didn’t care. She was intoxicating, and he could finally let himself indulge in her as he wished.
He moved slowly, hypnotically. As if he didn’t wish to build that fire between them this time so much as encourage it to burn high on its own. She matched his lazy rhythm, her hips rising to meet his, every part of her exulting in the way they fit together. In the way they moved together. Slow and easy and devastating. And it was the only thing that mattered. This time, she could reach up and explore him. Smooth skin stretched across steel. Hard male beauty unlike any other. Ferocious and proud. Fierce and demanding. She pulled herself up from the bed to kiss his chest, to taste the bold heat of him, the incomparable strength. The pace began to change, then, the fire burning ever hotter. With every thrust, Addison forgot everything but him. Andrey slid down to
They sat out on one of the patios one evening, surrounded by softly flickering candles, with the canopy of stars bright and astonishing above them. Addison leaned back in her chair and stared up at them, aware on some level, that time was passing even in moments like this one when she felt outside of time altogether. ‘Don’t forget what temporary means,’ she advised herself. ‘Don’t pretend that any of this can last. That he is yours… That this is going to be your life from now on… Because it’s not, and never will be…’ Across from her, Andrey was finishing a call with a CFO at one of his New York companies. He frowned out toward the dark ocean as he talked, his voice growing increasingly more impatient. While sipping at her wine, Addison watched him, imprinting that impossible face
The moment she said that Addison just hated herself. So deeply and so comprehensively it made her feel ill. She slid the wineglass back onto the table and wrapped her arms around her middle, certain she needed help to keep herself together. Andrey didn’t look away. He simply sat much too still and much too close across the table, watching her fall apart.“I’m so sorry,” he began after a moment, his voice calm.“No,” Addison interrupted him, her words feeling thick in her mouth. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. How would you know? It’s just… It happened rather recently and I’ve still not managed to figure out how to talk about it. About him…”“How recent?” Andrey frowned then.
Perversely, it only made him want her more. He’d told Addison that she was the only person he’d ever had any kind of close relationship with, and the stark truth of that haunted him. She was the only person alive that he had EVER trusted. He had allowed her unparalleled access to all parts of his life. To him. No employee had ever been so entrenched in his personal life before and Andrey had certainly never allowed one of his women anywhere near his business. Only Addison bridged those worlds. Only Addison. And his time with her was almost up. Giving in to an urge he hardly understood, as if it might ease the sudden heaviness in his chest, Andrey reached over and took her hand. Addison’s eyes flew to his, but he concentrated on the slide of her fingers against his. The way they fitted toge
‘If this is what it was like to love somebody,’ Andrey thought some weeks after he’d returned from Bora Bora and Addison had left him on the tarmac without a backward glance, ‘then I was absolutely right to push it away for my entire adult life.’ ‘When I decide to sabotage you,’ Addison had told him once, ‘there will be nothing the least bit passive about it.’ Andrey couldn’t help but wonder if this was what she’d meant. This… aching, annoying sense of loss, that colored everything a dull gray. ‘I hate it.’ He glared at one of his many vice presidents acros