SNATCHED MY HEART. (BL)

Ever wondered what life would be like if you discovered you're born in a society where every single step you take is watched and judged by some no-good-for-nothing looking to ruin some young man or girl's life?

Ever wondered what life would be like for the next person who can't come out and live their true. Trapped to remain who they aren't because to be who they are could lead to their demise?

Are you a Wonderer or is this your Reality?

If you're wondering then you're in the right place to get your answers but if you're unfortunate as I am and you are indeed living this life right now then I feel for you with all my heart because no one can understand the pain and confusion better than I do.

This was my everyday life for years and if you're still trapped to play pretense with your life as if it were a game then you would understand this story and relate to it because this is my story as a gay man who is unfortunate enough to be born in Nigeria were to be who I am could send me to jail for years, lead to my family disowning me and my life getting ruined forever so much that I would wish I were never born or I might as well, take a knife to my heart and end the miserable life if it gets too unbearable.

In the news today I would hear of a teenage boy who hung himself or poisoned himself for no reason whatsoever.

That story is so unrealistic and I wonder how they tell it proudly to the public.

I don't agree with that because nobody wakes up one morning and decides that what they want to do is end their life, just like that, without any reason. That boy or girl. Man or woman might be going through too much and they don't see any other way to end their suffering.

But, it always left me wondering if they did it because they were like me.

I was desperate for an answer.

I needed to know I wasn't alone but as far as I knew it, I was alone.

I am the only one I know that is like me.

That is one hellish life to live.

Well, here I am lost between living my true and hiding away for the rest of my life. I would pick the second alternative since that's pretty much the safest and the only reasonable choice. If I want to at least live this life albeit live it in agony I must stay silent.

What I know is for me to know alone.

A freak is what I am.

Nobody needs to know that.

My name is Emeka and this is my story. The story of my childhood, the story of how I blossomed into the freak I am. My coming of age and my discovery story. I will walk you step by step through my journey and how I realized that my life was doomed to be nothing but a big pile of misery and pain.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: All non-English words would be written in italic so when you see words written in italic just know that the characters are speaking in their native language.