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CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Author: Benny D dreamer
last update Last Updated: 2025-06-27 22:33:13
CALEB

The house smells wonderful. My mom's roast turkey, golden and perfect as always, mocks me from the kitchen. Even when everything else falls apart, she can still nail a holiday meal. Three forks gleam at each place setting because we're apparently dining with royalty today.

"Glaze the carrots." She doesn't look up from her list, just points toward the stove like I'm hired help.

I want to tell her I hate glazed carrots, that she's known this for sixteen years, but instead I nod and reach for the honey. Dad's commentary on some meaningless football game drifts in from the living room—his voice too loud, too desperate for normalcy after this morning's church performance where we all pretended to be a functional family.

When the doorbell chimes at three-fifteen, Mom freezes mid-stir.

"I've got it," I say, wiping sticky fingers on the dish towel.

Tim stands on our porch wearing that navy sweater that makes his eyes stand out impossibly. Ellie clutches a store-bought pi
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  • SWEET DEBAUCHERY: AN M/M COLLEGE, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE   CHAPTER NINETY FIVE

    ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★TONY★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★Luke looks just as bad as I do. Or worse. He’s standing in the doorway when I get home from the store. He looks like he’s been there for a while now. He looks so tired, it’s a miracle he’s standing on his feet. It makes my chest ache. I’ve been living in fear of never seeing him again. To say I’m relieved would be to understate it.“Hey.” I say. “Hey.” His jaw flexes.I stand there for a minute, like a fool, before I remember I have to unlock the door. I insert the key and twist. Luke trails after me, it’s like I can hear his bones groaning.I drop the shopping bag on the couch. It’s quiet. Do I start talking first? I don’t know what to say. It shouldn’t be this hard to talk to the person I’m in love with. But everything’s been hard lately.“What’d you get from the store?.” He starts.“Just some… toiletries and cleaning supplies.”He nods and goes mute, I take it as a cue to start talking.“I’ve been scared. That I’d never see you agai

  • SWEET DEBAUCHERY: AN M/M COLLEGE, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE   CHAPTER NINETY FOUR

    ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★CALEB★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★I’m holding my breath, waiting for Levi’s response. I hope I didn’t scare him. I hadn’t meant to unload, but then the intense pain on my nose combined painkillers got me feeling a little overwhelmed and a little out of balance. He’d only asked me how my nose felt but then I opened my mouth and I couldn’t stop talking. I told him about my relationship with Tyler, Tim too. Shocking, I know. I don’t know exactly what I said, maybe I said one or two about my parents too. He’s still quiet, he’s unsteady breathing tells me he’s still awake. We’re lying side by side, facing the ceiling. His hand is suddenly there, under the sheets curling around mine.“You’ve been through a lot, Caleb.” He says a bit unsteadily. This is the first time I’ve heard him this way. His hand squeezes mine before his thumb caresses my knuckles, making me shiver. The silence returns, pressing down on both of us. “ I think you should talk to someone.” He whispers.

  • SWEET DEBAUCHERY: AN M/M COLLEGE, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE   CHAPTER NINETY THREE

    ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★CALEB★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★Levi pulls up in front of my dorm, and kills the engine. He drums his fingers on the steering wheel.“You sure you don’t want me to come in with you. It’ll be faster.”I shake my head. “I’ll be quick. Just need my laptop, a few clothes and my charger.” Levi nods. “Okay. I’ll be right here.”“Thanks for driving me.” I smile. “It’s nothing.” He clears his throat, when I don’t move. “You sure you’re good?”“Yeah.” I lie. If it were up to me, I’d never come back here. But I need my clothes. Living with Levi has been something close to bliss. Looking at my dorm room now, it feels so faraway, like I lived here in my past life, not less than a month ago.I reach for the door and suddenly it’s raining. “Shit.” Levi chuckles.“Yeah.” I laugh. “You got an umbrella right?”“Yeah. I do.” Levi stretches to the back seat and grabs an umbrella he hands it to me. “Alright. See you.” I step into the light drizzle. When I get to the entrance, I reac

  • SWEET DEBAUCHERY: AN M/M COLLEGE, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE   CHAPTER NINETY TWO

    ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ TONY ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ Something’s wrong with Luke and he won’t tell me. But I can feel it. Tyler’s death shifted something. I understand it’s hard when you lose a friend, but this feels deeper than grief, more like fear. He’s staying up late, he’s avoiding my eyes, talking less, touching less. It wasn’t even up to week, that Luke moved in and he was starting to relax and settle in and now it’s like we’re starting all over again. He’s tensed up and restless and he’s pulling away from me. Or maybe he’s just grieving and I’m being overbearing and paranoid, inconsiderate too. Do I give him space? Or do I try to be there for him? I watch from the hallway entry, as Luke slips on his shoes carefully, as though he’s still guarding his leg. It’s mostly healed now, there’s still stiffness in his movements. I rest my weight on the door. “Going for a run?” He jolts a little, like I startled him. “Yeah. Just to clear my head.” “You’ve been doing th

  • SWEET DEBAUCHERY: AN M/M COLLEGE, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE   CHAPTER NINETY-ONE

    ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ CALEB ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ So far, I can say I did good on my fist exam. I’m even feeling hopeful. I see Vanya and Tony across the quad, they’re deep in conversation. I’m spending some time with them today maybe all I need is to touch grass and get out of my head. When I get closer I notice there’s something off. For one Vanya looks horrified with wide eyes, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly agape. “What’s going on?” I ask, once I’m close enough. “Did someone die?” I joke. No one smiles. “Yes. Tyler.” Vanya says. I scoff. “You wish.” Their faces remain serious. “Wait what?” “He died.” Tony clears his throat. “He took his own life. Last night.” The world stops. It’s like I’m shoved from a high building. Suspended in air. “No. Wait. That can’t be right.” I look at Vanya and her eyes are wet. She shouldn’t be crying. She hated him. She said he was a douche bag. She never met the other side of Tyler. The weak side of him, the fragile part. B

  • SWEET DEBAUCHERY: AN M/M COLLEGE, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE   CHAPTER NINETY

    ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ CALEB ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ Levi comes back when I'm curled up on the couch already half asleep and struggling to stay awake. "Hey." He says. "Hey." I reply, sitting up. And try to push back the sting of annoyance that we didn’t get to play some stupid crossword. "Miss me?" He asks, kicking off his shoes. "Nope. But Jenny did." "Shit." He says. Pulling off his hoodie. I remove my eye from the sliver of skin that peeks out. "She came here?" "Yes." I point at the Tupperware on the kitchen counter. "She came with chicken pot pie" He groans, running a hand over his face. "Ignore her. She’s a world-class gossip.” I sit up. Jenny didn't seem like a gossip. She was nice. "She seemed sweet. Like she just wanted to be friends." "Trust me. She doesn't. She just wants something juicy to share with her friends." Levi comes over to sit down beside me. “She does that with everyone here. And every one I ever had over." “Oh.” I pause. “She also said, I wa

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