Fated 11: The Annual Camp

David’s P.O.V.

Nothing could beat the happiness that Helena and I felt when our proposal passed the criteria of Mrs. Cheng. The higher office even congratulated us for putting our efforts together that’s why we are now here at Teraza Aculla for our Annual Camp.

Since it was declared signal number one across the area, the school decided that only Junior and Senior students would be allowed to join us. The whole thing wasn’t almost pushed through because of the bad weather, but the students — mostly the Juniors, didn’t give up on persuading the teachers.

This would be a one of a kind team building project that would measure the students’ different strategies, analytical skills, body strength and trust to each other, in order for them to solve a certain problem altogether. After the Junior and Senior obstacle games, one team per division would be declared as the winner.

Helena and I went here earlier than the other students. Kasama ang ibang mga faculty members, training officers at medics, ngayon ay inaayos namin ang mga tutulugang tents mamayang gabi — kasama na rin ang paglalagay ng mga hidden clues, flags, traps at iba pang mga item na gagamitin naman sa isasagawang obstacle race mamayang hapon. Siyempre, as program organizers, hindi kami kasali sa gagawing palaro. It was a good thing na medyo uminit na rin, meaning the weather was in favor of us.

Malapit na kaming matapos nang magsidatingan ang iba pang mga estudyante at guro. Nag-iwas na lang ako ng tingin nang makita ko kung paano makalingkis si Vanessa sa braso ni Drew. I knew I had already moved on. It was easy to forgive but still, I couldn’t forget about what she did to me three months ago.

All of a sudden, I got startled when Helena feeded me with chocolates without even calling my name. With that being said, I was forced to open my mouth and chew them.

“Hi, Cristoff! I just want to check, baka nalipat sa’yo ‘yong trangkaso ko? With that face? I could obviously see some bitterness. Ano? Masyado bang mapait ang panlasa mo?” She was clearly teasing me.

I didn’t know what to say. Napaka-unpredictable talaga ng babaeng ito!

Minsan, todo kung makaiwas at todo maka-walkout. Minsan naman, feeling close sa akin. Minsan, ubod din ng taray! She accepted my Famebook request five days ago but she just kept on placing me on her seenzone column. Hindi ko talaga siya ma-gets! But when it comes to situations involving Vanessa, she was always there to save me and I thanked her for doing that.

Pakiramdam ko ay lumagpas-lagpas ‘yong tsokolate sa bibig ko. I could sense that I also had some in the cheeks, kaya para makaganti sa kanya ay pinunas ko ‘yong nasa gilid ng bibig ko sa pisngi niya.

Pagkatapos niyon ay tumawa ako. “Oh! Ano ka ngayon, Helena? May bitterness bitterness ka pang nalalaman ha… wala nga sa vocabulary ko ang salitang ‘yan! In fairness, ang cute mo! Ang sarap mo sigurong halikan habang may tsokolate ka pa sa pisngi, ano?” I told her.

For me, it was only a witty joke… but why does it feel like my heart suddenly throbbed faster? Why was it that I liked to make it real? And I didn’t want to kiss her only in the cheeks…

Namula naman ‘yong mukha niya. Hindi niya siguro inaasahan ‘yong magiging ganti ko sa kanya. “Eww! Ang baboy mo! Kadiri ka talaga, Cristoff! Yuck!” She gave me back those chocolates by also wiping them back to my cheeks… and here we started bickering again.

“David and Helena, what’s with that commotion? As leaders, you should be the first to follow silence here! Look at the two of you! You two were acting like kids! Go fix yourselves and we will be eating our lunch,” Mrs. Cheng glared at us. That’s when we realized that all of the students’ eyes were stuck at us — including the accusing eyes of Drew and Vanessa.

“We’re very sorry, Ma’am…” we apologized in unison. This was the first time that I didn’t feel any guilt even though Mrs. Cheng got disappointed of us. Maybe because I was with Helena.

We went to the comfort room to clean ourselves. The comfort room was common to all so there was no divison either you were a boy or a girl. It was a good thing that the camp site that we got consists of a comfort room with five cubicles.

It was better compared to the previous Annual Camp where we took a bath altogether with our clothes on, because what we had way back then were only a deep water tap and a bucket. Reminiscing that, I knew that it might not fit Helena’s taste. She was truly a rich kid.

“It was all your fault, hmp!” buwelta ni Helena nang sabay kaming pumunta sa lababo para maghugas ng aming mga kamay at mukha. Ang ganda lang talaga niya kapag nagtataray siya… lalo na kapag umiikot ‘yong berde niyang mga mata.

“Ako pa talaga, ha? Sino ba ‘yong basta-basta na lang akong sinubuan ng tsokolate?” nangingiting tanong ko sabay wisik ng tubig sa kanya.

Gumanti naman siya. “‘Yan ka na naman, Cristoff ha!” nagbabanta pero nakangiting sabi niya sa akin. “Kasalanan mo talaga ‘yon, ‘no! Eh kasi naman… kung hindi pa kita gigisingin sa katotohanan, mawawala ka na naman sa mood mo! Tapos, ano? Maaapektuhan ‘yong obstacle course natin mamaya dahil ‘yong male organizer, wala sa mood para magbigay ng game mechanics? Huwag ako, pwede? It was all over, Cristoff. You couldn’t do anything about what happened. Even if you give them all your deadly stares, even how much you wanted to punch the other guy’s face… nothing will ever change. It still doesn’t change the fact that she betrayed you—” then she stopped.

I guessed, Helena chose to cut her sentence off when Vanessa came to us. I even saw how she looked at the latter from head to toe, before she drastically looked away.

I could even see her murmuring the words, “Speaking of the devil!”

“D-Dave, can I talk to you? It has been three months na rin kasi and yet, we still didn’t have a formal closure…” Vanessa spoke.

When I saw her a few days ago, I knew I had already moved on… but from the moment I saw her with that Drew today, I wanted to confront them and burst everything that I wanted to tell them. Now could be my chance to do so but in contrast, I chose to remain silent.

I realized, she doesn’t worth my time. I was trying to feel if there was still the same attraction that I felt for her a few months back, but I couldn’t feel anything in my heart.

“I’ll go ahead, Cristoff. Parang ang dami kasing linta rito, nangati tuloy ako. Excuse me,” and Helena left to give us some privacy.

“So… how are you?” Vanessa asked when Helena was gone. I wasn’t sure if she got affected by what Helena had remarked.

“Better,” tipid na sagot ko. I mean — best without you. I wanted to add and make her feel ashamed, but I didn’t do.

“G-Galit ka pa ba sa ginawa ko? I’m really sorry,” nakayuko niyang sabi.

Hindi ako umimik. I was sure as hell na wala na akong nararamdaman ni katiting para sa kanya pero bakit bitter pa rin ako? Dahil ba hindi matanggap ng ego ko na ginamit lang niya ako at tanga namang nagpagamit din ako?

“Apology accepted but I don’t want to see you anymore. This is the formal closure that you want so I’m now giving it to you.” I gave emphasis to each word before turning my back on her.

“What about Helena, Dave? Is there something going on between the two of you? No one had ever called you using your second name pero bakit Cristoff ang tawag niya sa’yo? D-Do you like her?” She threw me a series of questions as if she didn’t mind what I just said.

I faced her. Helena’s name doesn’t deserve to be dragged here and she should be out of this topic. “You think, you have the right to ask those questions?” I narrowed my eyes on her.

I saw her swallowed real hard. “It’s just that… break na kami ni Drew. I broke up with him two weeks after you found out. I realized that my heart really belongs to you… na ikaw pala talaga ‘yong mahal ko. I’m so sorry for hurting you, Dave. All this time, I was wrong. I thought, I was happier with him… but I guessed, we were just fooling around and what we felt for each other was just lust. I know it was too late but I only realized that when we parted our ways. I just pretended to be sweet to him today because I thought you would be jealous if you see us that way, but you know what? It was me who got jealous on how well you are treating Helena… I wanted to change position with her because in the first place, it should have been me.” Then, she started to cry.

If she thought that I would allow myself to be used again, she was wrong. Hindi na ako muli pang magpapakatanga sa kanya. “I’m sorry, Vanessa… pero wala na akong nararamdaman para sa’yo. You just wasted everything that we have. I truly cared for you, you know that! I was so proud way back then that I had a girlfriend who was such a beautiful cheer leader! And for that, I was willing to do anything for you… willing to trade anything for your time… even my grades just to edit your pictures and make you satisfied! Pero anong ginawa mo? Matagal mo na pala akong niloloko! You made me feel like a rag at ‘yon ang hindi ko mapapalampas. And please lang, take Helena out of the picture dahil wala siyang kinalaman dito!” I then again turned my back on her and took my steps away.

It felt like all I wanted to do now was to protect Helena’s name. I didn’t want her name to be linked to any kind of issue. And at an instant, nakita ko siya sa hindi kalayuan at nakangiting kumakaway sa akin. Nakasalampak pa siya sa damuhan habang kumakain.

From that simple view, I smiled at the thought who just stole my heart without even doing anything, who had the capability to bother my mind just to make me think about her and who always made me feel this unexplainable heartbeats. Strange… but that was where I found my real happiness.

I know, I’m falling for her.

But my thoughts were interrupted when Vanessa suddenly hugged me from behind. And I guessed, her arms wrapped around my torso was the main reason why Helena’s smile faded away. Helena even glanced away and what made me enraged was when she talked to Brent!

“Please, Dave… let’s start all over again. I want you back. Ako na lang ulit. I promise you, I will love you unconditionally. Hindi na kita lolokohin at lalong hindi na ako magsisinungaling. Please, Dave… I beg you, ako na lang ulit.” She was already sobbing at my back.

Unti-unti kong kinalas ang mga braso niyang nakayakap sa akin. “Fix yourself, Vanessa. Nandito tayo para sa Annual Camp, hindi para i-tolerate ‘yong feelings mong wala nang pupuntahan. Everything between us was already over, we’re done…” those were the last words that I told her bago ko siya tuluyang iwan.

I wanted to pity her but in the process, I didn’t want myself to be fooled again. After all, it was better to stay cold and blunt than giving her false hopes… because we already had zero percent chance of reconciliation.

Umupo ako sa tabi ni Helena at nagulat naman ako nang binigyan niya ako ng isang paper plate na puno ng pagkain, “I thought that you two will take quite longer to talk so I decided to save you this. Baka maubusan ka ng pagkain eh,” saka siya ngumiti sa akin.

“Nakakainggit naman si Dave, pinag-save pa talaga ng pagkain ni Helena kahit na kausap ‘yong ex kanina! Wala na talagang pag-asa ‘tong bata namin dito!” Narinig kong pang-aasar ni Jack sa likuran namin na wala namang tinutukoy kung hindi ang tropa nilang si Brent.

“Kaya nga. I was thinking that Mrs. Cheng should have chosen me to be paired up with Helena on this Annual Camp project, instead of Dave…” sagot naman ni Brent.

“Will you please shut up?” Helena shouted at them na agad naman nilang ikinatahimik.

“Hayaan mo na sila. Thanks for this,” ipinasya kong huwag nang patulan pa ang mga narinig.

“Oh, it’s nothing! You just have to treat me a one-month lunch to repay for this. But kidding aside, I hope you enjoy your food.” She was still smiling when she poked my nose.

I just loved her smile. Kahit isang buong taon na lunch pa ang gusto niya, I’ll do it makasama ko lang siya.

I didn’t know why but I felt like butterflies suddenly occupied my stomach. Maybe because this was the only day, among from the days we spent together, that I wasn’t yet able to get any dosage of her tantrums. She was not yet acting mad, as if she doesn’t know how to walkout!

Soon enough, our lunch ended and the first obstacle course for Junior students had started. While Helena was giving the mechanics, I just couldn’t help but stare at her. I guessed, I was being mesmerized by her simple beauty. She had a green pair of eyes everyone would adore. Her natural brown hair, wonderfully ponytailed at the back of her cap was smoothly being swayed by fresh air while the sun made it a little more shiny.

I thanked God that the typhoon went away but we still have to be ready in case the clouds would pour some raindrops again. Kahit pinagpapawisan si Helena habang nasa gitna ng initan ay wala siyang arteng nagbibigay ng game mechanics sa mga makukulit na estudyanteng pinapaulit-ulit lang naman ‘yong mga sinasabi niya. Nagsalubong ang dalawang kilay ko nang wala na akong ibang narinig mula sa kanila kung hindi ang magtanong ulit ng mechanics kay Helena.

Crush ‘ata ng mga ‘to si Helena ah! Malapitan nga.

I came closer to Helena and quickly snatched the paper where the game mechanics was written. “Pinagpapawisan at parang pagod ka na. Umupo ka na muna roon and I’ll take charge on this,” tinuro ko ‘yong monoblock na inuupuan ko kanina.

“No, I’m still fine. I’m okay, Cristoff…” nakangiting sabi niya.

“Sabi ko, umupo ka na muna roon. Kagagaling mo lang sa trangkaso, ayokong mabinat ka…” I seriously instructed Helena leaving her with no other choice but to nod and follow me.

“Okay, if that’s what you want…” she responded.

Then, I continued reading the game mechanics in front of those male third year students who just kept on scratching their heads on what I did. Now, they could not spoil their eyes anymore by looking closely at Helena from head to toe!

“Ano, naiintindihan niyo na ba? May malabo pa ba? Do you have any questions or do I still need to recall what I already explained to all of you?” maangas na tanong ko sa kanila.

As one of the Senior officers with higher rank, the Junior students should respect me whether they liked it or not. Kung ayaw nila, madali lang naman akong kausap. I always had the right to give them a punishment of fifty push-ups!

“Wala na po. Okay na po, Sir!” sagot ng mga nasa unahan — the same students na palagi namang pinapaulit-ulit si Helena sa pagsasalita kanina.

“Good!” I said as I held my head up high.

Time flew so fast and we didn’t notice that the Juniors’ obstacle course was done and because no one from them had seen the last flag, Helena was assigned to get it — to show them a proof that there was actually a gold flag. I wanted to join her pero pinigilan niya ako. Kaya na raw niyang mag-isa ‘yon at dito na lang daw ako para ipagpatuloy ang Seniors’ obstacle course.

Another hour passed and Brent’s group won over the others. It means that the Seniors’ obstacle course was already done as well and until now, Helena wasn’t yet able to find her way back. It only made me worry about her whereabouts.

Nasaan na ba siya? Bakit hindi pa siya bumabalik? I asked myself trying to think straight.

Isang oras pa ang lumipas at nagdidilim na rin ang paligid pero wala pa rin si Helena. Nag-aalala na rin ang mga guro. Ako? I was only carrying my backpack. Hindi ko lang pinapahalata but deep inside, sobrang nagpa-panic na ako. I was already afraid and nervous of thinking what might happen to her. Anxiety was slowly killing me.

I had to do something!

That was the main reason why I immediately grabbed a flashlight and took the direction where Helena had gone by. However, Mrs Cheng held me back because it was indeed dangerous.

“Pero, Ma’am naman… ano pong gusto ninyong gawin natin dito? Maghintay hanggang bukas? Kung delikado kasi masukal ang gubat, eh ‘di mas delikado para kay Helena dahil nag-iisa lang siya. Paano kung may masamang nangyari na pala sa kanya? Tatanga na lang po tayo rito? Wala na po tayong gagawin? Maghihintay na lang kung kailan siya babalik? Kung ganyan ‘yong paniniwala niyo, ako hindi. Hahanapin ko po si Helena. Kahit delikado, ililigtas ko siya. Ibabalik ko siya rito at hindi ako titigil hangga’t hindi ko siya nakikita,” mariing sabi ko. In the end, hindi rin nila ako napigilan.

Hanggang sa naramdaman kong may humawak sa braso ko. “Paano kung ikaw naman ‘yong mapahamak, Dave?” tanong ni Vanessa.

“Mas gugustuhin ko pang ako na lang, ‘wag lang si Helena. I can risk myself for her,” tinanggal ko ang pagkakahawak niya sa braso ko at nagsimula nang tahakin ang masukal na gubat na dinaanan ni Helena.

I even heard Brent shouted that he would help me search for Helena but I didn’t mind him anymore. Wala akong pakialam sa kanya. I didn’t have to join forces with him. Alam kong makikita ko si Helena kahit anong mangyari… at hindi ako susuko kahit mag-isa lang ako.

Malayo na ang narating ko at patuloy na ring kumalat ang dilim sa kapaligiran pero hindi ko pa rin nakikita si Helena.

Shit! I cursed.

It looked like the flashlight’s battery would be drained anytime soon. It was a good thing that I still had a small flashlight that I always brought just in case of emergency. I was also able to pack some foods in my backpack before I lost sight of Helena… but how I wished that I could have given her my whistle before she ran away to find the gold flag.

“Helena! Nasaan ka na ba?” sigaw ko. I also used my whistle to alert her wherever she was.

Pero wala akong narinig na tugon. All I could hear was the sound of different insects surrounding the forest. Alam kong hindi magiging madali pero hindi ako titigil sa paghahanap sa kanya. I wouldn’t give up on her!

“Helena!” I screamed again. Tumatagaktak na ‘yong pawis ko kahit napakalamig ng paligid.

Then, it started to rain until it had swollen the whole forest. Flood started to shroud the roots of the trees until I found myself seeing an almost horror movie setting. It was too dark, halos wala na akong makita. This made me worry even more about Helena’s whereabouts. I couldn’t help but think how she was coping up with this kind of scenario. I knew, she was too afraid because she was all alone. Kaya lalong hindi ako dapat sumuko.

Sa kabila nang lahat, kahit basang-basa na ako at hindi ako sigurado kung tama pa bang direksiyon ang aking tinatahak, ilang hakbang pa ang aking ginawa para lang mahanap ko siya. Dala na rin ng pagod, umupo muna ako sa tingin ko’y isang malaking ugat ng puno at nagpasyang magpahinga.

Ngunit hindi pa ako gaanong nakatatagal doon nang makarinig ako ng boses ng isang babae pero tila malayo pa sa pwesto ko ang kinaroroonan niya. “Tulong!”

“Helena?” bulong ko. Si Helena nga ba talaga ‘yon? Tumayo ako at naglakad nang muli dahil nabuhayan ako ng loob.

My hopes went high. I knew, I would be able to see her soon enough. I just had to become more determined not to lose my perseverance.

Sumigaw ulit ako sabay gamit ng pito. “Helena, ikaw ba ‘yan? Helena! Nasaan ka?”

Pero hindi siya sumagot. I almost ran even though it was too hard for me to surpass the flood, the roots and the mud. I didn’t care anymore what would I get at the end of this because Helena’s safety was more than enough for me.

“Helena!”

Nagpa-panic na talaga ako, pero mas ginanahan ako ngayon dahil alam kong nasa malapit na lang siya. I knew what I heard was her voice and no matter what happened, I would continue searching for her. Hindi ako babalik at hindi ko siya iiwang mag-isa lang dito.

Even though I was already tired, hungry, wet and cold, I continued searching the way I thought I heard her voice. I would find her and giving up would never be an option.

You can do this, Dave. Don’t give up on her. I whispered with conviction.