Chapter 2 " Taking a risk "

" Are you okay? " That was the first question he asked me. 

Okay nga ba ako? My eyes watered and it flows without any warning. Bakit nga ba sa tuwing tinatanong tayo kung okay lang ba tayo ay nakakaiyak. He's a stranger yet why he's so concern to my well-being compared to my family.

" Hey why are you crying? Are you hurt? " the man asked a little panicky. Tila isang malaking problema ang pag iyak ko. He started wiping my tears away from my eyes using a hanky. I want to laugh pa fa-fall rin si kuya e no? At first, I didn't seem comprehend his question but it resonated within my mind.

Am I okay? 

Am I hurt? Definitely.

Ang tanong na " okay ka lang ba? " ay nag papatunay na hindi ako okay. Kadalasan kaya natin tinatanong ang isang tao kung okay lang ba sila ay dahil may mali tayong nakikita. Maybe we observed that their bodies got thinner or their faces are void of delight. Its either you feel that they are stressed or you're aware about the problem arose in their lives. 

Gaga tinatanong niya kase kung okay ka dahil muntik ka na niyang mabunggo! My inner self shouted.

" Ah! Oo okay lang ako " I said still crying. All the pent up anger, disappointments and bitterness have finally released from my heart. I don't know when was the last time I cried. Siguro sa sobrang pag iisip ko ng responsibilidad ko bilang ate kay Abby kaya wala na akong panahong umiyak. Crying is an evidence of weakness, my notion has been this way. The façade I had imposed in front of everybody has been ruined by this immaculately hot Adonis. Isn't irony? Sabi ko na ayos lang ako pero walang humpay ang pag agos ng luha ko. A big fat liar. 

He stared at me like my face is the sole answer to his question.

" No you're not okay " the gorgeous man stated. I mean who couldn't tell that I am lying when the answer is evident? He continue on wiping my face until he's satisfied. Inayos niya rin ang mga buhok kong naka harang sa noo. Bigla tuloy akong nahiya sa itsura ko. I probably look like a lost beggar pitied by a king. 

" May girlfriend kaba kuya?"  I asked mindlessly still sobbing.

I almost facepalm my forehead pero hindi wala ng hiya hiya! Baka kasi siya na yung hinahanap ko. Gusto ko lang naman sumubok kasi ayoko na sa ganitong buhay. They said that in order for you to find what's yours whether in the battle of life or in love, taking a risk is the first step. Kung hindi ka susubok hindi ka rin uusad. Those who are living in their comfort zone will die doing what is common. They will die unknown and without a legacy. 

Mayroong mga panganib kapag sumusubok pero kaya ka sumusubok kasi may liwanag sa dulo. Hindi ka naman susugal kung purong dilim lang ang nakikita mo. In reality, people are risking what they already have to acquire something greater. Parang sa business, kelangan mag-labas ng puhunan para masimulan. Para lumago kailangang mag take ng risk at pasukin ang mundo ng advertisement. Funny how I'm justifying the craziest decision I will ever make. 

Same case with love.

Baka lang naman na sa mundo ko may sumubok na iligtas ako. Mahalin ako at protektahan. I probably looked stupid because this man is a total stranger. A sane person wouldn't think this way. Baliw na ata ko kaya ganito ako mag isip. 

" Ah! Wala naman Miss " confused on why am I suddenly asking about his love life. 

" Can you please save me? " I requested with every hint of desperation in my voice. Malay mo naman mahalin ako nito. 

We stared at each others eyes like there is a bridge that connects us. Suddenly, the world halted and all I could see is him. 

Sa unang pag kakataon susubok ako. Mag titiwala na baka siya na ang binigay ng Diyos. 

I will bare myself to the person who I barely know.Dahil minsan may mas pakialam pa ang ibang tao kaysa sa sarili mong pamilya. 

For him, I will be the best girlfriend or friend in the world. If he wanted to be satisfied I'll willingly do so. In exchange of certainty and to break free from what captivates me. 

Why not? I asked myself. My sane part has been keeping me from executing my decision. Listing all the possible consequences I might faced. Pagod na akong matakot sa consequences. So, I shut up the angel and throw her from the depth sea of the unknown. Where I caged her to a beautiful box where no one can release her other than her master- me.

If being with this man will save me from this living hell, my devotion and loyalty will be his. So I tiptoed and hook my arms on his nape. I kissed him in the middle of the road not minding about what people will think about me.

Dahil sa bawat pag halik ko binibigay ko yung sarili ko. My kisses were my prayers to my family who seems oblivious about my pain. To my selfish father who prioritizes his girlfriend more than us. 

Eventually, he's been the receiving end of those prayers.

Sa bawat pag patak ng luha ay ang katumbas ng mga hinaing na hindi ko masabi.

" Take me with you " I said to myself as if he can hear my thoughts. My soul is gnashing her teeth as if being tortured in hell. 

But who am I kidding? Who in the world will save me?

Then,I feel his lips moving, his arms tilting my head sideways. Maybe to kiss me more thoroughly. I was shocked from a moment but then again I closed my eyes and smiled. Like a rhythm in a music and a choreography in dance we harmoniously move our lips. In a slow and intimate manner without any inhibitions but mere attractions.